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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that you shouldn't put naked pictures of your kids on Facebook

182 replies

coralpig · 14/03/2016 18:05

I'm Facebook friends with a mother (we don't know each other in real life but our kids share an activity).
She has 3 kids of primary school age and has put up lots of photos of them completely nude with the way they are positioned obscuring their private parts. The children look really really smiley and relaxed in the photo and I think it's totally fine for them to enjoy being naked around each other. However I do think that it's massively inappropriate and quite unsafe to put these on Facebook. Mother in question has a private profile but hundreds of fb friends. What do you think? Is it my place to send her a message saying I think she should them down for the safety of the children? WWYD?

OP posts:
OhShutUpThomas · 15/03/2016 14:16

The fact that you agree with the general ethos and opinions of mumsnet, but are in the minority on this thread, should tell you something.

maydancer · 15/03/2016 14:20

The OP says clearly that the genitals are not seen.So what is the issue?

PoppyAmex · 15/03/2016 14:20

It's hugely inappropriate and in bad taste.

Facebook owns those pictures and I shudder to think how they can be used (and yes, abused) by third parties.

A terrible example is the recent drowning tragedy of the 2 year old twins and how their family/personal pictures are plastered all over the internet by the media.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 15/03/2016 14:28

I recently discovered that it is illegal to own an image (even of yourself as a child) of a child totally naked with the private parts exposed.

That is complete bollocks.

If a police officer came to your house or child's school to say that they had identified them on photos being shared and used by paedophiles, would you and your child be affected?

That is vanishingly unlikely - the police try and track down victims of child abuse by the images they have seen. Naked pictures of kids doing kid things does not constitute child abuse.

And if a naked picture of a kid in a bath is being passed around a paedophile ring, how does that harm the child?

What if someone's watching!!! Aaaagh! OMFG! Binoculars! Shiiit! Won't someone think of the children

This^

FreeSpirit89 · 15/03/2016 14:29

I think that you have too much time on your hands. It's her kids, her Facebook. Are the children in any immediate danger?

Nope.

Janecc · 15/03/2016 14:33

Itsallgoingtobefine
Don't care if you don't believe me. I read it onan official site. Not trying to scare monger anyone. So don't tell me I spout bullshit unless you get your facts straight.

OhShutUpThomas · 15/03/2016 14:36

I think it boils down to this.

Why WOULDNT you post naked pictures of your child on the Internet?

  • risk of being used and shared inappropriately by strangers and paedophiles
  • risk of child being unhappy about it when older
  • risk of future bullies using them against your child
  • child not being able to consent

Why WOULD you post naked pictures of your child on the Internet?

  • to get more Likes.

See, for me, that's a no brainer.

badg3r · 15/03/2016 14:38

I wouldn't do this to my DS. When he is older the pictures will still be available and I would worry if they got into the wrong hands he would get bullied. Completely anecdotal; when I moved to secondary school we had a leavers do and all the parents brought in a couple of photos of us as babies, and we had to guess who they were. One mum brought in a photo of my friend in the bath. It took him about two years to live it down, and we couldn't see any rude bits and had no virtual copy of the photo. So even if it's not a huge child protection issue, there is a real risk they will be made fun of in the future.

It's not unheard of for kids to ask for pictures their parents post to be taken down. I wonder how much longer we have until they are old enough for revenge posting, and our FB feeds will be swamped with unflattering morning snaps of mums and dads to teenagers in similar scenarios; asleep, in the bath, eating dinner (obviously not at the same time ;) )

EverySongbirdSays · 15/03/2016 14:44

What OhShutUpThomas said and coralpig - oddly enough the same friend I have mentioned had a photo of her cleavage reported as inappropriate recently - what she received was a message from Facebook saying it had been flagged (but not saying who by) and that it was being removed. She screenshotted the message she got from Facebook and shared it. You couldn't see anything at all either, she was fully clothed! It had clearly been done out of malice.

Janecc · 15/03/2016 14:48

Revenge posting. Like the way you think badg3r

DisappointedOne · 15/03/2016 14:50

and these children will have a massive electronic footprint for all to potentially see and scrutinise when they say get vetted for a job or some such thing

My 5 year old has no Facebook account. She doesn't share my surname. I doubt even her class teacher, who knows my first name, could find my Facebook profile, never mind an unrelated recruiter. (I'm an HR consultant.)

DisappointedOne · 15/03/2016 14:52

Don't care if you don't believe me. I read it onan official site. Not trying to scare monger anyone. So don't tell me I spout bullshit unless you get your facts straight.

Please share a link then. Which law is it?

NickyEds · 15/03/2016 14:53

I don't put any photos, naked or otherwise of my kids on fb. My nephews and neice were about 12 is when they started taking baby pictures down when their mates came to visit, and these were just ordinary pictures. I personally wouldn't be particularly upset with pictures of me on the beach or wherever being available but I'm an adult not a teenager. If friends I don't see very often want to see my dc I send them a picture privately, there's really no need to share pictures on line.

DisappointedOne · 15/03/2016 14:54

If a police officer came to your house or child's school to say that they had identified them on photos being shared and used by paedophiles, would you and your child be affected?

Massive difference between a photo that I've posted getting into the wrong hands and an offender taking photos of my child.

multivac · 15/03/2016 14:55

^^link for Disappointedone

multivac · 15/03/2016 14:56

(I am comfortable sharing pictures, including naked baby pictures, of my children online, btw. Just clarifying the point of law, such as it is)

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 15/03/2016 14:57

Multivac I'm pretty sure that the actual law (when not simplified for teenagers) is rather more nuanced than that.
www.cps.gov.uk/legal/p_to_r/prohibited_images_of_children/

LazyCake · 15/03/2016 14:58

I think that probably YABU. Personally, I don't post any pictures, clothed or otherwise, of my DD online as I value her privacy. Cute snaps are circulated to close family via email. But I really can't see what difference it makes that the children are naked in these photos. Children's bodies are not sexual and are as innocent in their naked state as they are fully clothed. Only very disturbed individuals see children's bodies in a sexual light and there's a name for them - paedophiles. I really hope you don't think I am implying anything nasty about you by saying that because, clearly, your concern for these children is very well intentioned and totally genuine. But I fear that there is a creeping sexualisation of children, and that we need to be alert to it and resist it wherever we can.

DisappointedOne · 15/03/2016 14:58

That site is aimed at teenagers. It doesn't cover pre-pubescent children.

Dovinia · 15/03/2016 14:59

That link is aimed at indecent images of teenagers, not naked babies.

multivac · 15/03/2016 14:59

Yes, DisappointedOne. But it is absolutely possible to interpret the law as clearly happened on the scaremongering site for paranoid parents the PP found.

DisappointedOne · 15/03/2016 15:01

Not one of those classifiers of an indecent image would apply to a normal "playing in the bath" type photo of a young child.

DisappointedOne · 15/03/2016 15:02

It wouldn't be "focussed on the genitals or anus" or involve any sort of sex act.

multivac · 15/03/2016 15:03

"No one has defined ‘indecent’ but basically if it’s naked..."