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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that you shouldn't put naked pictures of your kids on Facebook

182 replies

coralpig · 14/03/2016 18:05

I'm Facebook friends with a mother (we don't know each other in real life but our kids share an activity).
She has 3 kids of primary school age and has put up lots of photos of them completely nude with the way they are positioned obscuring their private parts. The children look really really smiley and relaxed in the photo and I think it's totally fine for them to enjoy being naked around each other. However I do think that it's massively inappropriate and quite unsafe to put these on Facebook. Mother in question has a private profile but hundreds of fb friends. What do you think? Is it my place to send her a message saying I think she should them down for the safety of the children? WWYD?

OP posts:
Vixxfacee · 14/03/2016 18:05

Haven't been on fb for years but what happens if you report the pics.

juniperdingleberries · 14/03/2016 18:07

i do think people in general are way too lax on their children's personal information/pictures being shared to all and sundry. But it's her Facebook, her children, her pictures. She's old enough to know the consequences.

It is one of the reasons I don't have Facebook. Maybe just unfollow/unfriend her?

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 14/03/2016 18:08

How are her children at risk exactly?

theycallmemellojello · 14/03/2016 18:10

I don't know about unsafe, but I completely agree that they are too young to choose whether they want naked pics of themselves circulating.

kelda · 14/03/2016 18:10

It's an invasion of their privacy at the very least. I'm sure they won't be pleased as teenagers/adults to find these photos online. I know I wouldn't.

Especially as if she has hundreds of friends, she won't actually know them all that well.

ctjoy103 · 14/03/2016 18:12

Yanbu, I find this completely inappropriate and nothing cute about it at all. Someone did this on my fb, little boy penis on full show and he was around 3/4. I didn't say anything, her child her issue.

maydancer · 14/03/2016 18:15

'it's massively inappropriate and quite unsafe'

how???

Wellthen · 14/03/2016 18:16

Honestly I think if you message her she will get defensive. If you really want to say something, perhaps a comment on one of the pics saying something like 'very cute but will X appreciate this when he's 14?' and see if she gets the hint.

Pps are right, they aren't at risk themselves and the risk of paedophiles accessing the images is small (though possible). Its more about their privacy and the bad lesson she is teaching them about appropriate and inappropriate online content. To be honest over the age of about 4 I think you should be asking their permission to post any photo of them.

mycatsloveeachother · 14/03/2016 18:17

Honestly? Extreme opinion but I think it's a form of abuse. It's awful.

Sanityseeker75 · 14/03/2016 18:22

is it my place to send her a message saying I think she should them down for the safety of the children? Not unless you are extremely close friends, will this go well.

As vixx suggested you could report it and then I think it gets taken down anyway. If none of their private parts are showing though then it may not.

I am not sure how I feel about this sort of thing. I have hundreds of naked pictures of my DS but fb wasn't around then so I cannot say without a doubt that I wouldn't have uploaded the odd one - mind you my friends list is really just that.

SoThatHappened · 14/03/2016 18:22

My cousin does things like that all the time. When her children are exhausted after school and fall asleep on the sofa, or are sick and sleeping or just sleeping, she takes photos of them and puts it on facebook.

One of the girls is 11 and actually commented Mum can you take that down and her mum didnt.

I have hinted a couple of times things like: how embarrassing, if my mum did that to me I would kill her....but she doesnt seem to heed it.

Her girls are at an age now: 11 & 13 that she shouldnt be violating their privacy anymore and they are too old for this. It is embarassing for them. I guess the girls will give her hell before they are much older.

Sanityseeker75 · 14/03/2016 18:25

Sorry I missed primary school age and thought little little ones, that does put a slightly different spin on it.

MadamDeathstare · 14/03/2016 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BatteryOperatedBoyfriend · 14/03/2016 18:28

Someone I know put s photo of her little girl stood naked, from behind with her wearing the mothers high heels. It felt so so wrong.

Oysterbabe · 14/03/2016 18:28

A form of abuse? Give over.

mycatsloveeachother · 14/03/2016 18:33

It's taking dignity and privacy away from the child, so sorry - am standing by that comment.

RudeElf · 14/03/2016 18:35

The safety? Confused

In what way does this make the children unsafe?

findyourbacon · 14/03/2016 18:56

Abuse??? Really?

CalleighDoodle · 14/03/2016 19:00

It is inappropriate. Report them. Every time. She might actually realise you mean it then.

AliciaMayEmory · 14/03/2016 19:04

Abuse?!!! Hmm Don't you think gems like this undermine actual abuse? It may be inappropriate to put these pics up, but to say it's abuse is absurd.

phequer · 14/03/2016 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coffeeisnectar · 14/03/2016 19:09

I had a friend who put photos of her child who was about 4 at the time, completely naked and covered in paint. Unfortunately her privates weren't obscured and you could see everything. She also had a public profile so those photos were available to anyone who wanted to see them. And copy them.

I was with another friend at the time we spotted them and she suggested messaging her as she was good friends with her. The reaction was to remove us (and several other friends) from her friends list and send a shitty response to my friends very kind message pointing out that those pics were public, telling her never to contact her again.

We were all left a bit gobsmacked and several people were unfriended and had no idea why. It was bizarre.

Princesspeach1980 · 14/03/2016 19:16

If she has her privacy settings right then hopefully the pictures themselves aren't a risk, but once they get to a certain age, they have to learn that privates are private. Photographing them and sharing the pictures is setting a weird example to them of what is appropriate. My boys (6 and 8) know the "underpants rule" and would be very uncomfortable with being photographed naked.

BonitaFangita · 14/03/2016 19:26

I agree with Princess Peach, there's lots of information at schools for kids about protecting themselves online and what is and is not appropriate to post on social media. But what's the point if mum's going to invade your privacy for a few likes?

Aeroflotgirl · 14/03/2016 19:30

Very inappropriate, dare I at it, unsafe. FB is not exactly wonderful, anyone could copy and paste that photo, or take a photo of it.