Leaving children alone....

[Flashbangandgone]

AIBU for being thoroughly confused about what is 'legally' deemed to be reasonable for leaving a child alone. When a Dad is convicted of neglect for leaving his child alone for '5 minutes' in a car to get some calpol, is advised not to appeal by a barrister, then appeals anyway whereupon the judge quoshed the conviction by responding "5 minutes and this is supposed to be a crime?"

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-35803414

I'm personally on the side of the Dad and judge, but whatever my personal thoughts, it is appalling that there is such a lack of clarity on the law that this kind of thing can happen.

I was told if your child could respond to a reasonable emergency alone then they are ok to leave eg my son is just about 13 is autistic but clever . I'm constantly trying to teach him life skills but slow going.he won't answer phone, door or go outside alone and is just recognising that he needs a drink therefore dispite his age he's not fit to be left alone.His elder sister when aged9 use to put oven glove to make herself toast , could bake, use to know everyone's phone number, basic 1st aid....list goes on so she encouraged me to pop to shop and leave her to read etc

Am getting slacker about leaving mine. I have a very careful risk averse 9 year old girl, really cannot see that leaving her at home reading her book whilst I walk her sister to local activities is the wrong thing to do.

Last year I left my 6 yr old DC (talk and looks older) asleep in the car for 5 mins while I popped into a shop. We're talking head lolling against car seat head rest, jaw slack deep sleep. Came back, all fine, and when she woke went for Mummy-daughter 1/2 term lunch out.

Got a call from DH to say police we at the house with report of an abandoned child. DH felt nice coppa took on board that DH knew all about it (I had phoned him to say 'it's all right to do thus isn't it as had never done it before), where we were and was surrounded by DC's toy mess and art works i.e. not obviously neglected. Coppa said he'd have to return later to interview DC.

I was in pieces but stayed very upbeat for DC with 'oh won't this be interesting'. But the threat of DC having to be interviewed, question marks raised over DC's care and that any investigation would lose me my career (work with vulnerable people) ... it was a horrid.

Luckily by time we got home police had rung to say there was clearly not an issue. BUT now as I try to encourage DC to have a little independence she's worried the police will be called if she's too far from me.

I really wish the concerned individual could have waited around to talk to me rather than cause this ongoing anxiety. I'd say, yes everyone has a right to report concerns but not to jump to conclusions. Give parents a chance and if child clearly not distressed, e.g. drooling cos they're so deep asleep, maybe they are OK.

*tall not talk

I have left my Ds who was about 9 years old to go to the supermarket. He positively enjoyed it. It gave him a chance to watch a film in peace and quiet. He had a phone if he needed me and could help himself to a drink if he wanted one. Friends Ds aged 13 was left alone for the 1st time for 7 minutes when his mum had to pop to the shop at the corner of the road to get something. She returned to find that he thought it would be a good idea to start setting fire to newspapers on the kitchen floor!!

All children are different. You cannot say you can leave one child at 13 for 30mins when the child is clearly not capable of being responsible but say you cannot leave a 9year old who just wants to watch a dvd in peace

Gosh, when I think about what my parents did to us when I was that age...
Basically, as long as it was nice outside, we got thrown out of the house in the morning, called in for lunch, then out again to play with all the neighbour kids, all of it completely out of view.
I would not do this myself now of course, but really cannot see the harm of leaving children for 5 minutes, as long as you are absolutely sure everything is ok, and they are busy reading/watching a DVD etc??
Up to every parent I would say, they can judge their children best after all.

The Law doesn't state an age where you can leave a child on their own, but it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. The difficulty is what is deemed as being "at risk". This requires clarity.
Children under 12 are rarely mature enough to leave alone for long periods of time and if under 16, shouldn't be alone overnight. It is unacceptable to leave babies and toddlers alone.
Parents and carers can be prosecuted if found to have left a child alone at any age of the circumstances would cause significant risk of harm or injury.
Let common sense prevail .