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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you snatch your children?

72 replies

KolaKoola · 13/03/2016 21:36

Ok, just really fallen out with DP over this whilst watching 'suffragette'.

So if you lived in Victorian time and your ex partner took your DC and refused to let you see them ever again, would you try to snatch them?

I said I would want my ex to compromise, as I would be more than happy to but if there was no chance of this then yes I would snatch them.

He said what would give you the right, you'd be just as bad... I said no, I would be happy to compromise but forced into the position of having to take them.

Follow massive row Angry

Aibu?

OP posts:
RubbleBubble00 · 13/03/2016 21:38

in Victorian times I would snatch them - men held all the power and children could be used a pawns to make their wives behave. I would snatch and run for America

DamsonInDistress · 13/03/2016 21:39

In a heartbeat.

NickiFury · 13/03/2016 21:41

Absolutely. Wouldn't he? If the situation was reversed?

LynetteScavo · 13/03/2016 21:41

Wel....yes I would.

PiperChapstick · 13/03/2016 21:42

Of course, I'd die before I let them be taken from me, but it would be easier said than done Sad that scene in Sufragette (fab movie) is the hardest I've ever had to watch. I actually got shushed in the cinema as I was sobbing so loud Confused

VertigoNun · 13/03/2016 21:42

Yes as their Dad is an arse. If the Dad was a decent sort then there would be no need.

It wasn't something that ended in Victorian times, men held power. Princess Diana was brought up by her Father.

LynetteScavo · 13/03/2016 21:42

In Victorian times I would have needed family money, as I probably wouldn't have been able to earn enough to support my DC.....

Original poster
KolaKoola · 13/03/2016 21:43

When I asked him this he said who was he to decide whether his children grow up without a mother....

Really pissed off as thought it was a great film, his main concern was how as a feminist film they simply had to have evil men main characters Hmm

OP posts:
VertigoNun · 13/03/2016 21:45

I am sure I read somewhere that men will always revert to bonding with other men over their women in times of pressure.

NickiFury · 13/03/2016 21:47

Well they weren't being portrayed as excessively evil. They just were like that. Because that's how it was then. He should be shocked and railing against that really, not minimising it as "look how mean they're being to the poor old menz". It was what it was and it is what it is in places like Saudi where the situation has not evolved.

PiperChapstick · 13/03/2016 21:49

Really pissed off as thought it was a great film, his main concern was how as a feminist film they simply had to have evil men main characters

Sorry but your DH is a plonker. Does he also get pissed off when films like 12 years a slave show racist characters? Tell him it shows them being sexist and evil because they were sexist and evil back then

Original poster
KolaKoola · 13/03/2016 21:49

Oh he's just fucking pissed me off this evening over this Angry

His ex wife might be taking his DC to live in Scotland. He says he doesn't really have a choice on the matter but he wouldn't snatch his DC.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 13/03/2016 21:49

Is it a "feminist" film? Or is it just a dramatisation mainly focussing on the history, work and sacrifices of women as opposed to men for once.

Original poster
KolaKoola · 13/03/2016 21:51

Yes I brought up 10 years a Dave and he says it was the slavers who were portrayed as evil, because they were. But in this all men are getting v portrayed as evil. He's just being defensive as deep down the facts make him feel uncomfortable

OP posts:
Original poster
KolaKoola · 13/03/2016 21:51

*Slave not Dave.

OP posts:
Original poster
KolaKoola · 13/03/2016 21:51

I would say both Nikki

OP posts:
ClarenceTheLion · 13/03/2016 21:52

Your DP sounds a bit 'hard of thinking' OP, sorry.

And a man who can watch a pretty historically accurate film about women being treated horribly, and bleat about how awful it is that men are being represented poorly would have to work very hard to convince me that I hadn't mistakenly shacked up with a misogynist.

monkeyfacegrace · 13/03/2016 21:53

My Dh is a Dave. You're typo has made my night Grin

PiperChapstick · 13/03/2016 21:54

What a shame that he can't put his own feelings as a man aside for a second to see that it's not about him and his character.

I would quite like to see 12 Years a Dave though Grin

Natsku · 13/03/2016 21:54

I'd snatch my child for sure. I actually did have to snatch my child after my ex refused to return her after a visit after I found out the social workers and police could do nothing when there wasn't a custody agreement or court order.

MelanieCheeks · 13/03/2016 21:55

What are you falling out over a hypothetical situation?

VertigoNun · 13/03/2016 21:57

Sounds like his children are better off in Scotland. Poor op, poor dc and poor ex wife.

VertigoNun · 13/03/2016 21:58

12 years a Dave. Is it like Sean of the dead?

waitressinacocktailbar · 13/03/2016 21:59

yes. Whatever the circumstances, if I was slightly sus and feeling vulnerable for them then yes.

GreatFuckability · 13/03/2016 22:01

well, in some ways he does have a point, in that one parent not allowing the other access is just as shit either way.
but of course, if the father (in this case) started that situation to begin with then you can hardly blame a mother for wanting to take her children back.
the scotland situation, hes correct the he can't stop his ex from moving, but she does have to facilitate contact.

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