Today I was hosting my family for lunch. Both me and my sister have young children, but our brother in his 30s doesn't and is on his own. We don't see him that often(every few months) and today was a typical sequence of events.
I text him a week ago to see if he would like to come. He responds along the lines of 'thanks for inviting me, sounds nice, we'll see' . This is typical, and our mum says it's fair enough as he is young and if something comes up socially he is naturally going to want to go. I then hear nothing from him.
I text this morning to ask if he is coming. Nothing. My mum says he probably is, but not sure. We sit down to lunch just before one, and he knocks at the door. As he walks in, I say I wasn't whether he was coming. he says he wasn't going to but he had been out all night in an area near me, and thought he'd come on his way home. He sits down and, as always, eats an enormous lunch.
After lunch he chats for a few minutes then lie down flat on the floor with his eyes closed and goes to sleep. He, as always, seems to have no intention of actually socialising with us and our families.
After he has been asleep for an hour, me or my sister say something along the lines of 'are you going to wake up?' . he just keeps saying how tired he is. I then say that I think he is rude to always behave like this eg not letting me know if/when he is coming, turning up just before people are eating, then either leaving very shortly after or not engaging with us and going to sleep/on his computer. He left.
I feel terrible as I care about his lots, but just always feel hurt by his behaviour.
My mum thinks me and my sister are unreasonable, and should 'have some compassion on the poor man'. I feel like he is taking the piss, and is too old to behave like this. AIBU to feel like this.