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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to do this?

19 replies

FlyingRussianUnicorn · 12/03/2016 23:38

I live at home with my parents.

Finally got a part time job two days a week. Pay is quite good and there's opportunity for overtime so while my standard take home pay a month will be about £300 it will go up in holidays and surrounding special occasions.

I havent worked for 6 years due to MH issues. My parents havent charged me rent and pay for all bills and insure a car for me (vital where we live as we are rural with little public transport). I am grateful truly I am and try to make it up to them as much as possible by doing a lot of housework, running errands for them, doing the shopping etc.

Would it be unreasonable for me to save money to put towards me moving out and getting my own place in the future rather than paying rent? They havent asked for any (they are a lot more easy going over this than they used to be tbh) but id hate one day in the future for them to say how could you afford to save for a house deposit all this time and not pay rent?

If its unanimous "your taking the piss" then I will talk to them about it

OP posts:
Original poster
FlyingRussianUnicorn · 12/03/2016 23:39

Oh should add- I will be paying my own car insurance from now on and all personal expenses have always been mine- ie always paid my own phone, petrol, clothes, days out etc

OP posts:
RoseDeWittBukater · 12/03/2016 23:41

I think you should discuss with them,it's only polite as they've been so helpful.

RJnomore1 · 12/03/2016 23:41

If you were my child is be happy with this as long as I wasn't really struggling to house and feed you right now but I'd prefer it if you spoke to me about it like an adult.

hownottofuckup · 12/03/2016 23:41

I think that's totally reasonable and what I would expect from my own DC.

Leeds2 · 12/03/2016 23:41

I think I would contribute something. Or at least ask them if they wanted me to?

trappedinsuburbia · 12/03/2016 23:42

Why don't you talk to them about it anyway, they might be happy that your saving for your own place or they might want a token contribution? I think you need to offer anyway, or at least start paying for your own bills/car?

Stratter5 · 12/03/2016 23:43

You need, as a minimum, to pay for what you use and eat. At least offer to pay rent, and make it clear you'll be contributing towards food and utilities. They may well refuse, but you need to offer.

BieneBiene · 12/03/2016 23:44

Congratulations on the job Flowers

I think I would offer to pay them something.

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/03/2016 23:44

I'd discuss it with them, as a pp said it is the polite thing to do.

Well done on getting the job!

PennyHasNoSurname · 12/03/2016 23:50

It would be good to offer, but if I were in your shoes Id suggest that in leui of rent (as its low income and very oart time), that I do the housekeeping.

If you get a good oay one month through overtime etc.maybe treat them to dinner?

Original poster
FlyingRussianUnicorn · 13/03/2016 00:04

Thanks all and for the congrats- im chuffed someone has finally given me a chance . Will talk to them about it.

OP posts:
MirriVan · 13/03/2016 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2016 00:13

I would talk to them about it.

Fatmomma99 · 13/03/2016 00:18

congrats on the job, and yes - as others have said - have a conversation!

Sounds like things are on the up for you!

AcrossthePond55 · 13/03/2016 00:55

Our children were required to 'pay rent' when they worked and lived at home. But unbeknownst to them it went into an earmarked account and when they moved out we gave the money back to them for rent & utility deposit. We didn't need the money but we wanted them to understand that once you're earning, you need to contribute.

Talk to your parents. If they need the money to keep their heads above water (and it doesn't sound like they do) then it's only fair that you contribute to the running of the household. But if they don't need the money, perhaps you could suggest the above arrangement.

yorkshapudding · 13/03/2016 01:09

Many congrats on the job Flowers

I agree you need to sit down and have an honest conversation with your parents. Explain to them that you appreciate all they have done and that you are more than happy to make a contribution but that you are also tying to be sensible in planning ahead for the future. What you've suggested doesn't sound at all unreasonable as long as your parents are not struggling financially.

Best of luck with the new job. A fresh start is a wonderful thing Smile

Brokenbiscuit · 13/03/2016 08:41

I think it would be perfectly reasonable to ask your parents how they would feel about what you propos

Brokenbiscuit · 13/03/2016 08:42

Oops, posted too soon! Anyway, reasonable to ask what they think, as long as you are happy to go with whatever they suggest.

Best of luck with the new job - congratulations!Smile

bornwithaplasticspoon · 13/03/2016 08:59

Well done on the job Smile

Definitely talk to your parents about this. I suppose it depends on how long the situation will go on for. In the long run it's beneficial to your parents for you to move out (not saying they want you out but at some point it's natural to want your children to be independent!) so if you live rent free that will come sooner. However, if they find finances a struggle now or at some future point you may have to chip in.

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