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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have a diva-like strop over a cake

101 replies

2ndSopranosRule · 12/03/2016 17:40

It's my birthday tomorrow. MIL always takes it upon herself to provide the cake.

Lo and behold she's brought round my cake. I'm funny about cake. I actually don't really like it. In particular I don't like chocolate cake. At all. It's the biggest chocolate cake. It turns my stomach to look at it so I won't be having any.

The appearance of the cake has reminded dh that he's forgotten to get the one type of cake I do like. It's apparently my fault because dh filled a prescription for me and in the process forgot to buy me cake.

I'm annoyed at MIL. I know I'm ungrateful btw. But I'm even more annoyed at dh for not having the conversation he's been promising to have with MIL about not bringing cake (we end up with far too much and I don't like chocolate cake) for the past 12 years and forgetting to buy me cake and blame me.

Aibu to strop?

OP posts:

NanaNina · 12/03/2016 18:35

Dear god - how old are you!!! You sound like a spoiled brat to be honest

HunterHearstHelmsley · 12/03/2016 18:39

YANBU purely because I too don't like chocolate cake and get bought it on birthdays far too often. Everyone knows I don't like it!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/03/2016 18:44

What's so spoiled-brattish about venting on MN to say that MIL has been told umpteen times that OP does't like chocolate cake and has nevertheless turned up with an enormous chocolate cake for OP's birthday? If you make something for a special occasion that's supposed to be for a particular person, surely it's just good manners and common sense to go for something that that person will like?

I hope your husband has rushed out to get you a carrot or fruit cake, OP. I feel you deserve it.

SaucyJack · 12/03/2016 18:46

I'd be pretty fucking irritated if somebody made a cake they knew I wouldn't like for my birthday and pretended it was a present for me.

I'd rather they gave me nothing than have to lick arse over a cake I didn't want.

Pinkheart5915 · 12/03/2016 18:47

To be clear: I am not actually stropping at this moment. I am merely considering having a strop.
I think the fact you are an adult and are even considering have a strop over a cake is very childish. I feel sorry for your husband having to take the children out to get a cake I assume. Your mother in law made a nice gesture and your husband forgot to buy one when getting your prescription.

You sound like a drama queen

kelda · 12/03/2016 18:48

Really next year, buy a cake you like, eat the whole lot for breakfast, and when she comes over with her cake, tell her thanks, but you are much too fill to eat it!

greenbloom · 12/03/2016 18:49

It's one of those annoying and kindly meant things that our nearest and dearest to do for us. They mean well, but consistently get it slightly wrong. It's rather irritating and very human. Take charge of obtaining your own birthday cake.

Xmasbaby11 · 12/03/2016 18:51

If you don't like cake, just take it into work for everyone to share. I can't see how cake could offend anyone. If you're really bothered, next year ask Dh to say you're not fussed about cake any more and you'd prefer flowers etc.

TrinityForce · 12/03/2016 19:01

YANBU

fuck chocolate cake, it's disgusting.
fuck DH for not getting you the cake you like, and then having the audacity to blame you for him forgetting

feebeecat · 12/03/2016 19:02

Well, it is nice to actually be able to eat your own birthday cake.
Birthday cake was always a bit hit and miss growing up, the occasional Victoria sandwich, that was very nice. On my 21st mum decided I warranted a "proper" birthday cake, ordered from a shop and everything. It was very pretty, I really liked it. Until I cut it - fruit cake. I hate fruit cake, as mum well knows, but had decided that sponge was too babyish. I was officially an adult who still hated fruitcake

I still remember the disappointment.
YANBU OP And happy birthday but no cake, oh no

Anniegetyourgun · 12/03/2016 19:03

I don't think OP sounds spoilt at all. She sounds like someone whose preferences have been ignored for most of her life (horrendous tale of her father!) and who is getting mighty fed up with it. Which is understandable really. Letting off steam here is far preferable to leaving DH wearing the chocolate cake as a squishy hat.

Anniegetyourgun · 12/03/2016 19:06

feebee, I'm nearer 60 than 50 and I still haven't "grown into" fruit cake! I can never understand what people see in dead fruit. When I go to weddings I have a nice little arrangement going with those guests who dislike icing and marzipan.

BolshierAryaStark · 12/03/2016 19:08

Ahhhh hell no, diva-like strops are fanfuckingtastic, I actually love that it would be over chocolate cake. You go ahead OP.

pastimperfect · 12/03/2016 19:12

YANBU for considering throwing a strop about chocolate cake. My 40th was marred by my own cake gate moment when the ILs presented me with a chocolate cake.....after 20 years of knowing that I can't eat chocolate as it makes me ill. This included XH's sulk because I refused to eat any of it as it makes me ill

YABU, however, for eating fruit cake. Ew.

Jux · 12/03/2016 19:16

Film punching the cake and put it on YouTube. Punch it a LOT so it is dead. Let your children punch the cake too.

Then give it to the birds and the little critters that live in the garden and which like that sort of thing.

Make it a celebration for all.

mogloveseggs · 12/03/2016 19:17

If I got given a fruit cake I'd cry so yanbu

PaulAnkaTheDog · 12/03/2016 19:18

I need cake now...

CigarsofthePharoahs · 12/03/2016 19:23

Can I derail a little and ask why it is some people actually like fruit cake? I have never met one that wasn't a grimly flavoured pile of stodge. I made a sodding Christmas cake last year that everyone else loved and said was brilliant.
I thought it was hideous. It's not cake, it's just a feeble excuse for icing.

Is your mil known for pa gestures or does she just do the "La la I'm not listening" on all the times you've said you don't like chocolate cake?

HeffalumpHistory · 12/03/2016 19:25

Buy your own cake. It's not the same as buying your own gift. It's just a cake.
And get a grip

Hope you have a good birthday op

EweAreHere · 12/03/2016 19:28

Surely, as a grown up, you are capable of telling another grown up that you don't like chocolate or chocolate cake. Surely!

Floggingmolly · 12/03/2016 19:30

It's a giant chocolate cake. Not a giant chocolate covered dog turd. She's not holding your nose and shoving it into your gob, is she?

Redderred · 12/03/2016 19:31

Yanbu.
Chocolate cake is disgusting

EweAreHere · 12/03/2016 19:33

Ok. Missed the post where you've told her.

I guess since DH won't have a word and isn't helpful, make telling her memorable. Pack it up and send it back home with her and tell her why. THAT she'll remember ... having to lug the cake home again because she forgot you don't like chocolate again.

RaspberryOverload · 12/03/2016 19:35

There's only one fruit cake recipe I like to eat. Luckily, it's the one I use for Christmas every year.

Fabulousy moist it should be, with all the brandy plenty of fruit (sultanas, currants, raisins, prunes, apricots, glace cherries, glace ginger) and did I mention the brandy?

So if I had a spare fruit cake, I'd offer to swap if you were anywhere nearby.

(PS, you don't actually taste prunes in the cake, it just adds to the rich taste.)

acasualobserver · 12/03/2016 19:41

Jux, many thanks: I laughed a lot.

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