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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

cancelled plans on friend now she is ignoring me

91 replies

orangjuicelover · 11/03/2016 17:10

Maybe i am being unreasonable but.........

Today we made plans to meet up and go have something to eat, it was a short notice kind of thing.
I have been busy this week as i had just come off holiday two weeks ago and im catching up on bills/money matters/other stuff.
I booked to have my hair coloured and the hairdressers could only do it today so I cancelled the plans with my friend.
She messaged me back saying "ok cool"

It seemed blunt so i said to her i can meet her after the hairdressers and cancel to plumber who was meant to come in the afternoon and we can meet but she just said "no next week is fine"

I then asked her if she wanted to come wireless as the tickets were going on sale today and she has ignored me but has been seen on whatsapp. She just read it and ignored it.

Shes obviously pissed off, was I wrong here?

Im kind of guessing something is going on in her life which is negative because the day after I came back from holiday she was asking me to come out and before I left was complaining about her DP

OP posts:
Atenco · 11/03/2016 19:31

Maybe your friend cancelled other urgent things to have to time free to see you.

OberonTheHopeful · 11/03/2016 19:34

Perhaps if you had actually spoken to your friend instead of 'messaging' you might have had a better response? Two weeks is a very long time to sort out bills after a holiday. Are you running a multinational company?

BombadierFritz · 11/03/2016 19:36

Is she as unreliable as you? Thats a pretty crappy excuse to cancel a meet up - you know the old brush off 'i'm washing my hair- and offering to cancel a self employed tradesman last minute isnt great either.

Stillunexpected · 11/03/2016 19:49

Surely it doesn't take two weeks to catch up after holidays? On that basis, you must be one of those people who is permanently busy. If you suspected that your friend has been having some sort of difficulties for at least three weeks, I think it's pretty awful to have made short-notice plans, then made even shorter-notice plans with the hairdresser and cancelled her. If your hair needs colouring that desperately, surely you would have noticed before now and made the appointment a bit in advance?

Gobbolino6 · 11/03/2016 19:49

Oh gosh just registered that you cancelled the plumber too. Forget the friend, but cancelling the plumber who has blocked out a chunk of time today for you...to get your hair done...is pretty shitty.

champagneplanet · 11/03/2016 19:49

Maybe she's busy, short texts and a no reply might mean she's being funny but also that she's busy with something. She's a friend, just pick up the phone and talk to her and grovel a little bit if you feel bad.

Stillunexpected · 11/03/2016 19:49

Are you running a multinational company? Grin

Notimefortossers · 11/03/2016 19:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notimefortossers · 11/03/2016 19:55

Sorry! Wrong thread!!

NameAgeLocation · 11/03/2016 20:04

are you my friend OP?
She cancelled on me 3 times in a row ans then texted me asking if we are still friends because I never call her and we rarely see each other.
Then we made an appt that didn't get cancelled. Fine, I thought, we're back on track. Then the next 2 got cancelled at very short notice (like, 1 hour). Now I'm done. She'll be lucky to get a reply from me next time because she's a time waster and I just can't be arsed.

MarthasHarbour · 11/03/2016 20:04

Gosh that is one hell of a leap notime although you could be on to something Wink Grin

Notimefortossers · 11/03/2016 20:09
Grin
Gwenhwyfar · 11/03/2016 22:47

"gwenhwyfar I'm intrigued to know what thread that was supposed to be on!"

This one. In response to Jamie Fraser.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/03/2016 23:09

So, you knew she was going through a tough time, and you cancelled her for your hair? Um.

MidniteScribbler · 11/03/2016 23:22

"I've been having a rough time for a while and was really hoping to catch up with my friend. She went away on holidays but has been back for three weeks and has been putting me off, saying she has to pay bills. She finally agreed to meet me today so I could talk to her, then she rings me at the last minute and says she needs to have her hair done instead and wants to cancel. AIBU to feel like I'm not important in her life?"

3BusyBabies · 11/03/2016 23:34

midnightscribbler spot on!!!!

3BusyBabies · 11/03/2016 23:37

It's not the cancelling for hair that would bother me as much, more it being the straw that broke the camel's back.
You do seem a bit self-serving OP.

SoThatHappened · 11/03/2016 23:37

Last straw kind of thing.

I've backed away from a couple of friends that are always doing this kind of thing. I've ignored their last messages.

SoThatHappened · 11/03/2016 23:49

Also bills.....direct debits, online payments, etc? It's 2016 not 1986

MirriVan · 11/03/2016 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whathaveilost · 12/03/2016 00:04

Over the last 30 years I have cancelled plans on the lady minutes with friends and the yhave with me for relatively minor things. It's no big deal. The only time I would be annoyed would be if it was something we had booked and paid for in advance . That's never happened.

Alasalas2 · 12/03/2016 00:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

springscoming · 12/03/2016 00:09

I'd be scaling down my friendship with you if you cancelled me for hair. It's not something I'd do to my friends. But I'm not into hair anyway. It's hair. It can wait. It isn't coming to my funeral Smile

My MIL used to put hair appointments first. That's part of the reason why we see her once a year now.

BreconBeBuggered · 12/03/2016 00:22

I'm fascinated by the roots not being allowed too.

OP, you sound flaky as hell. I don't need to ask myself if I'd be pissed off, because I don't have time for flakiness in my life. No problem at all if friends need to cancel for genuine problems. I've done that too. But hair? You couldn't even have spared your friend's feelings by pretending it was the plumber you needed to stay home for?

RockUnit · 12/03/2016 01:25

Hair is an excuse for when you don't want to see someone. E.g. "I'm washing my hair" means no to a date you didn't want to go on.