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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About neighbours? Or a bit precious?

116 replies

NickyEds · 11/03/2016 11:29

We rent a lovely house in a great village. I love it here and I absolutely don't want to fall out with my neighbours. The house has a garden and at the bottom a drive and garage. We don't have a car so the drive is only really used when we have family to visit. A few months ago one of our neighbours asked if he could leave some stuff on our drive for a couple of days. I said it was fine- the drive gives slightly easier access for them and we weren't using it that weekend.

So a couple of weeks ago we bumped into a different neighbour and he told us he'd be using our drive. His actual words were " we'll be using your drive for some building work. We've checked with your land lady and she says it's fine". I just feel like this is a bit out of line tbh but didn't say anything at the time as we were with friends. This morning huge amounts of building materials have been delivered onto the drive and there are builders mixing concrete etc there. As it happens we are having family to stay so would have used the drive. We would have probably said yes anyway but AIBU to think this is just a bit rude? Dp thinks I'm being precious.

OP posts:
CaptainHammer · 11/03/2016 21:21

My DH would be the same as yours but you did the right thing talking to them and messaging LL!

lavenderhoney · 11/03/2016 21:23

And - he should have asked you and then you would have said to LL " x wants to do this which is fine but I need a written and signed letter from you that any damage he causes you will seek reimbursement from him" before he starts his work.

And also I'd get a letter from him too, stating he agrees to pay the LL for any damage and also for any unconvinced to you. And the LL should say that. Make them get a lawyer involved and pay for the privilege. Sounds mad but theses fuckers would shaft you if they can. They're doing it now.

lavenderhoney · 11/03/2016 21:26

Pp- I love that " the right to quiet enjoyment" - and tea:)

I plan to use it in common parlance ASAP:)

LeaLeander · 11/03/2016 21:27

Good for you! Glad to hear it. Let him grumble; I bet he will think twice before doing anything similar.

As mentioned before, if he had many any gesture such as a preemptive apology before the goods were delivered, with a bottle of wine and some other gift, it would have reflected far better on him. Still doesn't mean ll or him were in the right but would have shown a little respect for you as a human being.

Out of curiosity is he old? Young?

DontMindMe1 · 11/03/2016 23:26

and once the stuff is moved i suggest placing some large heavy plant plots or something in their place/on the boundary. make it clear it is NOT communal space - it's YOUR private property

looki · 11/03/2016 23:40

Good idea from a PP to make a 'wall' using plant pots and tall shrubs.

Screw being 'neighbourly', he obviously isn't bothered about being that towards you.

I hope you aren't letting this horrid man put you off the village and your love of living there. Please remember its his problem, not yours.

AntiHop · 12/03/2016 00:05

Well handled op. It's your home, not a free for all.

KittenOfWoe · 12/03/2016 00:57

Sounds like you handled it perfectly! Nicely done.

If it weren't for fear of damage, I'd get the visitors to block said materials in with their car.
But then again I AM a petty, petty person...

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/03/2016 02:00

I think you've done the right thing, and never mind your DH being mortified - he needs to worry less about upsetting other people! Is he generally a people-pleaser, aka doormat?

And yes, good job on contacting the LL again, it's simply not on for her to agree anything that is to do with your HOME, without running it by you first. I am a LL as well and can't imagine telling my tenants that I've let someone do ANYTHING to the house/gardens without consulting them first! It's unbelievably rude, and against the general concept of letting.

Mumteedum · 12/03/2016 10:08

Years ago, stbxh and I rented a mid terraced cottage in a lovely village. Neighbour one side was elderly and although she was a bit funny with us lowly renters at first, she was nice when she got to know us.

On the other side, we didn't meet them for the first 6 months as they lived abroad.

When they can back for the summer, although very pleasant to our face, certainly did not respect us. They too were'friends with the landlord'. One day I was washing up looking out into our garden, when man next door comes round with a saw and begins to saw our tree down! I went out to ask what he was doing. He replied that it blocked their light and landlord said it was OK. It was a small tree but afforded us some privacy. I explained this but he stood there and repeated that he'd asked LL so as I was so taken aback I didn't really think I could say much more so he just shrugged and cut it down there and then.

It was horrible. Especially when the landlord came round for drinks and they sat discussing us in next door's garden.

Oldraver · 12/03/2016 10:44

So, DP is mortified ? Well good, but I think it will do him some good to see that you can stand up for yourself by being polite and the world doesn't cave in

AppleSetsSail · 12/03/2016 13:10

Well done, OP. I look forward to the next instalment. What a dick.

Original poster
NickyEds · 12/03/2016 13:19

Thank you so much everyone, I half expected a load of "stop being so entitled" responses so it's good to know I'm not going mad!

I'm not going to let him spoil my enjoyment at living here but it has left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth tbh.

LeaLeander He's not elderly, early sixties is.

OP posts:
Janecc · 12/03/2016 13:56

And btw the ll legally has to give you 24 hours warning in writing before coming on the property. Which you can refuse. This is often waived for emergency repairs.
My rights weren't clear when hubby and I rented in Germany and the owners son and dil lived next door. One instance the dil came onto the property swearing to herself and removing the canes previously propping up the overgrown rose bushes we had pruned. Mmm not intimidating at all.... Then the owners other son decided to dig the veg patch without taking to us first because we weren't using it. It was down the hill a bit so we couldn't see them but we weren't impressed. My dog ate all all the tomatoes - what a silver lining. They were in their 50's and we were in a foreign land in our 30's. The son and dil had 2x annual parties on our shared driveway. We were invited and they were generally nice, friendly and helpful. I heard other stories of landlords sticky beaking and taking advantage over there. To complain at the time would have been seen by them as petty. By golly I wouldn't want that these days.

So the moral I suppose is if you don't make your position clear, people will walk all over you. In my case and yours, it probably wasn't done with malice, more naivety on the ll's part. Well done for standing up to these people.

starfishmummy · 12/03/2016 17:20

YY to putting something to stop people using it. Padlock any gates

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 13/03/2016 00:02

And as for looking down on people who rent, ffs, my DSil and DBil pay more to rent their house than we pay on our mortgage and their house is smaller than ours. Nothing wrong with renting. What a snotty old fashioned neighbour you have.

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