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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About neighbours? Or a bit precious?

116 replies

NickyEds · 11/03/2016 11:29

We rent a lovely house in a great village. I love it here and I absolutely don't want to fall out with my neighbours. The house has a garden and at the bottom a drive and garage. We don't have a car so the drive is only really used when we have family to visit. A few months ago one of our neighbours asked if he could leave some stuff on our drive for a couple of days. I said it was fine- the drive gives slightly easier access for them and we weren't using it that weekend.

So a couple of weeks ago we bumped into a different neighbour and he told us he'd be using our drive. His actual words were " we'll be using your drive for some building work. We've checked with your land lady and she says it's fine". I just feel like this is a bit out of line tbh but didn't say anything at the time as we were with friends. This morning huge amounts of building materials have been delivered onto the drive and there are builders mixing concrete etc there. As it happens we are having family to stay so would have used the drive. We would have probably said yes anyway but AIBU to think this is just a bit rude? Dp thinks I'm being precious.

OP posts:
JuxtapositionRecords · 11/03/2016 13:49

It's very rude of him. I would just text your LL and say 'x told me he was using our drive with your permission. It's not convenient to have people using the drive in future as we have guests who need to use it. It would also have been a nice courtesy to be asked by you or the letting agent first if it was ok, rather than be told it was happening'. I wouldn't make him move all the stuff but only because I couldn't be arsed with the grief.

People are so bloody cheeky

Arfarfanarf · 11/03/2016 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 11/03/2016 13:54

You are paying to live there! This drive will now be seen as community property.

I'm with Arf. I'd want written confirmation that she is assuming responsibility for anything on the drive.

She has a fucking cheek and so has the neighbour. She is not doing you a favour, you are.

pigsDOfly · 11/03/2016 13:55

Well, from your last post NickyEds it sound even worse than the way you first described it. Your house and drive are going to be covered in dirt and dust - I live in a new build, there are houses still being build further along the road and the dust from that is horrendous, can't imagine what it'll be like right outside your from door.

If you're prepared to put up with it - personally, I would be getting it moved - in your shoes I would be getting on to the LL again and telling her that as she okayed it and you weren't told what was involved you'll be expecting a reduction in your rent until the building work is finished. And make it very clear to everyone that nothing like this is going to happen again.

And tell her to leave your gooseberries alone.

LeaLeander · 11/03/2016 13:58

His convenience or lack thereof is not your problem.

If he had come to you hat-in-hand asking for permission, and then followed up by numerous gestures to indicate he understood the magnitude of the favor (bottles of wine, a voucher each week for you to dine out, perhaps making a pleasant improvement to your garden while he is at it) it MIGHT be understandable.

To go behind your back is bullshit. I would tell the landlord you need the driveway ASAP for visiting relatives, for a childminder or whatever other reason you think of and force him to clear out. He didn't much care about maintaining goodwill with you, did he? So why should you worry about it?

Otherwise you will be established as the neighborhood doormat.

I have a cottage in an area where one house's extra-large side lot was for a couple of decades treated like community property, because the owners didn't care and were an elderly couple who enjoyed watching the activity.

Volleyball, croquet, kids playing, overflow space when neighbors had barbecues, or just as a convenient shortcut to one another's homes. etc. Well, guess what. When that couple died and new owners
took over, we all became scrupulous about not setting a toe on that property, because we didn't know them and we did not have their permission. They clearly like more privacy than their predecessors and that is fine. We didn't say to ourselves "those newcomers will just have to put up with us because we have been here longer and "own" the neighborhood!" Which is what your "neighbor" is doing to you. Disrespect.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 11/03/2016 14:00

AIBU to think this is just a bit rude

HELL YES!!!! its fucking takes the piss

call that Landlady now, and have a copy of your lease - what pipe said

some people!!!!! [shocked]

littleleftie · 11/03/2016 14:01

I would ask LL if I could make a deduction in rent paid as I had been deprived of full use of the property on her say so. Cheeky cow!

Bellasima20 · 11/03/2016 14:01

This is so unbelievably rude and arrogant of your neighbour. Please dont listen to your DP, stand up for yourselves or this will keep happening.
Striding up to a neighbour and informing them you will be using a part of their house in such a rude manner is disgusting.
As others have said approach landlady asap and establish what was said. If she said ok- then others advice re. dealing with her is great. You then need to go back to your neighbour asap and say- checked with landlady she was mistaken in thinking she has the right to allow this, when she didn't. Id like you to have fully cleared my driveway by (give time) and just so you are aware, this cant happen again without my explicit permission first.

Why is your DP so concerned about "keeping the peace" with rude, entitled neighbours who clearly have no such concerns of their own in return to you?

NickyEds · 11/03/2016 14:04

It's at the end of the garden so the house won't be dusty but I couldn't really comfortably use the garden. I'm worried about damage now Sad. I hate this. I really don't want to fall out with either the ll or the neighbours. There's no way they would do this if we weren't renters but owned.

I've messaged the ll to let her know just how much stuff there is down there.

OP posts:
MangosteenSoda · 11/03/2016 14:06

Let him know that your guests will need to park on his drive because his detritus is occupying your drive.

Kanga59 · 11/03/2016 14:07

YANBU

He was cheeky by asking the ll and then by making out to you that she had okayed it when she had really said that he should run it by you aswell.

I would make it clear in conversation with him that you know this is what happened and ask him how long the stuff will be there and a date for the drive being clear again so that you can get back to using it.

Sidge · 11/03/2016 14:07

Don't text message her, call her!

Make it quite clear that you will be paying a reduced rent until the stuff has gone, and that there will be no more 'allowing the neighbours to use the drive'.

The rent you pay includes the driveway so it's irrelevant whether you actually have a car or not - you may want to cover it with plant pots or put a trampoline on it, for example. Which you can't do if your necky neighbour has covered it with building materials.

It's horrid when a landlord/lady thinks they still have free access to the property - I had this years ago when my housemate and I would come down in our PJs to find the landlord in the garden! We had to make it quite clear that it was not acceptable and involve the letting agents.

Arfarfanarf · 11/03/2016 14:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NickyEds · 11/03/2016 14:11

It's just the way dp is tbh. He simply sees it as neighbour using space we don't absolutely need (our guests this weekend will just park at the front). I definite think it's seen as community property as it's so convenient for the neighbours gardens, also we have let another neighbour use it, but that was to park his bike for a couple of days and as a space to build a shed for his garden....not for 20 tonnes of aggregate!

OP posts:
Penfold007 · 11/03/2016 14:11

All tenants have the right to quite enjoyment of their home, I think it's covered by section one The Prevention of Eviction Act 1977.

^“Protection from Eviction Act 1977”
Section 1
Unlawful eviction and harassment
s.1(3A) (as was amended by the Housing Act 1988) which states:
"the landlord of a residential occupier or an agent of the landlord shall be guilty of an offence if he does acts likely to interfere with the peace or comfort of the residential occupier or members of his household."
The individual carrying out any inspection will be personally criminally liable, and could face arrest by the police on the above charge. Likewise the agency as a corporate entity may face criminal investigation.
Also any attempt to enter the premises without your consent will treated as, as a matter of civil law:
a. trespass; and
b. a breach of the quiet enjoyment clause under the tenancy agreement.^

You need to take photos and tell the landlady that this isn't acceptable. You also need to wary of any damage the neighbour or his builders might cause. The stuff could be there for months.

Alasalas2 · 11/03/2016 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 11/03/2016 14:24

I'd get photos and vid clips of all the materials that are there. You are paying money for this dickhead neighbour to store all this. He's a prick and she has no business approving this without asking you.

KatharinaRosalie · 11/03/2016 14:25

so what next, the LL will allow them to use your garage, as you don't have a car anyway and she doesn't think you will mind?

blobbityblob · 11/03/2016 14:27

I wonder if he's lying about having agreed it with your landlady. I'd be inclined to check with her. It's common for people to charge rent for others to use their property for building works, access etc; he's probably trying to avoid getting a straight no or a fee.

LeaLeander · 11/03/2016 14:38

OP can you post a photo?

It sounds from your later post about letting someone park a bike and shed-building materials there that you have established precedent for making this common-use area for your neighbors' convenience. Not that it excuses obnoxious neighbor's presumptuous behavior but people like him will take a mile if you give them an inch.

I would demand that this be addressed right now and also call the company that delivered the supplies and tell them they had no right to plop the materials on your property, and to remove them ASAP or you would be calling the police.

Why is your husband willing to be so passive about something that bothers you? Why are your feelings less important to him than the neighbor man's feelings? I'd be giving that a good long thought as well. You husband doesn't have to agree with you, to stand up for you.

OwlofMinerva · 11/03/2016 14:39

Does the neighbour have a parking space? If so tell him your guests will be using it and he must leavetit clear whilst your drive is out of action. See how he likes that!

Arfarfanarf · 11/03/2016 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellasima20 · 11/03/2016 14:48

Totally agree with Arf.

RebootYourEngine · 11/03/2016 15:07

It is so incredibly rude. I dont see why landlords think they treat their rental property any way they want when they have people paying to live there.

I am a HA tenant. I would not be happy if someone from the HA came round and dumped a load of stuff in my garden without asking.

RebootYourEngine · 11/03/2016 15:08

Oh and it shouldnt matter if you dont use it. You still pay for it.

I have only hung my washing out about two times this winter. Doesnt mean someone from the HA can come along and put their clothes on it.

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