To think this is a backhanded insult and totally uncalled for?

[pavlovapippa]

I've been doing some work recently with an old friend of mine from school, we'll call her Gemma as this is her name and I don't care to give her a false one. Anyway so I invited Gemma out for a few drinks the other day as she's never met my boyfriend and we haven't really had a good chance to get together since school, we went to a local cocktail bar where I live and the night was lovely apart from one little moment which has been playing on my mind since.

I went to the loo, she came with and whilst in there she made a comment about my boyfriend to the effect of "oh he's gorgeous, you've done well for yourself." Now am I being unreasonable to think that this is very rude and suggests that I am inferior to him as she's oh so shocked that I've managed to find somebody so attractive? Maybe this seems petty and I am just blowing this out of proportion but she could have made a comment on his appearance without having to say "you've done well for herself". Now debating whether or not this is somebody I want to be friends with.

Perhaps she thinks he's pug ugly but was trying to be nice?

"You've done well for yourself" is a fairly common, polite thing to say really.

We'll call her Gemma as this is her name and I don't care to give her a false one

Anyway, sounds like you're being a bit sensitive.

Ha! Thomas YES!!! Miss Middleton

Her thread got deleted while I was talking about my supply of cake

Oh Lordycakes - you sound like extremely hard work!

Do you take on so about everything?

Does anybody think I should talk to her? Or will this complicate things?

Yes, I went to AS the op but the thread must have been deleted

Ms Middleton, you don't like women much do you ?

I thought you and your husband ran a party business? Why are you hanging out with your boyfriend in bars?

Sounds like your own paranoia at play.

So you've named a friend on an online forum for her having made an innocuous comment? It's just something people say. Bit of banter. I couldn't be doing with friends as high maintenance that I need to worry about every little joke that passes my lips.

Yabu

Yabu & overreacting. If you had a few cocktails maybe she wasn't thinking quite so eloquently but if that's the worst thing someone says to you, think yourself lucky. Good friends without any imperfections are hard to come by!

What do you need to talk to her about? It was just a throwaway comment, forget about it.

Are you always this sensitive?

Strip this back and consider the implications - anytime anyone says 'You've done well', this means they didn't expect you to or it's a backhanded compliment.

That's patently absurd.

She was complimenting your partner, that's all.

I run an events business with my boyfriend, but this is besides this point.

You're being ridiculous

You sound like such a high maintenance whack job.

Your friend probably meant it in a "I can't believe someone as nice as him would be with such a highly strung twat badger such as yourself."

You know, reading between the lines and all that.

No, just leave it. She'll think you're unhinged if you go off on one about what was clearly a throw away comment.

He was your dh last night I thought...

I think she was being nice and I would have laughed if my mate said that not get touchy about it.

Was it Prince Harry, hon? In which case, yes, you have done well for yourself.

Do you assume that every woman in existence is jealous of you?
referencing yesterdays now deleted thread also

back handed insult?
you mean back handed complement surely

You sound like such a high maintenance whack job.

Yes Paul - nice setting of the scene as well, I can almost imagine myself sipping cocktails in the bar with them.

I think you are over thinking. It is just a casual phrase.