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AIBU?

To think this is a backhanded insult and totally uncalled for?

202 replies

pavlovapippa · 09/03/2016 21:19

I've been doing some work recently with an old friend of mine from school, we'll call her Gemma as this is her name and I don't care to give her a false one. Anyway so I invited Gemma out for a few drinks the other day as she's never met my boyfriend and we haven't really had a good chance to get together since school, we went to a local cocktail bar where I live and the night was lovely apart from one little moment which has been playing on my mind since.

I went to the loo, she came with and whilst in there she made a comment about my boyfriend to the effect of "oh he's gorgeous, you've done well for yourself." Now am I being unreasonable to think that this is very rude and suggests that I am inferior to him as she's oh so shocked that I've managed to find somebody so attractive? Maybe this seems petty and I am just blowing this out of proportion but she could have made a comment on his appearance without having to say "you've done well for herself". Now debating whether or not this is somebody I want to be friends with.

OP posts:

Report

mrwalkensir · 09/03/2016 21:38

ooh, it's pavlovapippa again...

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/03/2016 21:38

I can't keep up.

Gazelda · 09/03/2016 21:39

Forget it. Gemma didn't mean anything by it.

Bunbaker · 09/03/2016 21:39

"Does anybody think I should talk to her?"

No

"Or will this complicate things?"

Yes

Your friend will think you are unhinged. Are you always so easily offended?

fatherpeeweestairmaster · 09/03/2016 21:39

stroke I know, it's like being in an episode of Made In Chelsea. I feel as if we're all on the barstool next to them, making our eyes all boggly with pretend horror-sympathy and sipping a v&t.

scarednoob · 09/03/2016 21:40

It only means that she was being nice about him. Guess what - it's not all about you!

Strokethefurrywall · 09/03/2016 21:40

Poor Gemma - who here hopes she and the OP's boyfriend disappear off into the sunset together on a horse?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/03/2016 21:40

Made in Chelsea/Towie crossover? Gemma was there...

OhShutUpThomas · 09/03/2016 21:41

I just want cake now.

Strokethefurrywall · 09/03/2016 21:41

I've got a pina colada in one hand and a dirty martini in the other fatherpeeweestairmaster - it's fucking riveting people watching in these parts!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/03/2016 21:41

Stroke she'll still have her husband...

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/03/2016 21:42

Thomas I have cake and lots of wine.

whois · 09/03/2016 21:42

Oh shut I told my good friend the other day she had done well and picked a good 'un. Hope she's not hating on me right now.

Strokethefurrywall · 09/03/2016 21:42

Oh fuck, yeah I forgot about him. I imagine him with a flat cap in the potting shed, drinking ale out a can with dirty fingernails, wire rimmed glasses and leather patches on his blazer.

pavlovapippa · 09/03/2016 21:42

PaulAnkaTheDog I've never mentioned having a husband, I've never been married. Anyway, I've decided to leave it as I believe this will just complicate things further with her.

OP posts:

juniperdingleberries · 09/03/2016 21:44

"Does anybody think I should talk to her?"

What would you say?

"I was really insulted the other night when you complimented me for my excellent choice of partner?"

I think if she did mean it in a way that implies you're punching above your weight, your post is just showing that she is a good judge of character.
You sound like a proper toffee-nose.

OhShutUpThomas · 09/03/2016 21:45

I don't think you should speak to her ever again

Thisisnotausername · 09/03/2016 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pavlovapippa · 09/03/2016 21:49

Well the reason I didn't make a comment there and then is due to the fact that we're currently working together and she is a very valuable employee, can't afford to lose her really so I should bite my tongue.

OP posts:

BlueMoonRising · 09/03/2016 21:50

Is a backhanded insult, an insult that is really an understated compliment?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/03/2016 21:50

Not caught up since school, doing work with her and now she's your employee?! Wow...

gobbynorthernbird · 09/03/2016 21:51

Your friend thinks you're a munter. HTH

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MrsNoraCharles · 09/03/2016 21:52

If she's a valuable employee I'm not sure naming her was a wise plan.

pavlovapippa · 09/03/2016 21:52

Paul.. It's a funny circumstance which I suppose I feel the need to explain now as you seem to jump down my throat at every opportunity. She applied for a job as an entertainer with my company, didn't know it was her until I met her for the audition and thought it would be lovely to have a non professional catch up. Happy?

OP posts:

Goingtobeawesome · 09/03/2016 21:54

I'd have felt a bit miffed too but wouldn't say anything about it unless she kept on.

A friend came to my house, looked around the lounge and announced that she wished she'd Married a rich man . Think she was a bit jealous.

DH isn't rich. We just had a nice house with help from PIL.

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