Dp promised to cook.. He came home with food for himself!

[Stressedmama16]

I'm fully aware I'm being a pregnant hormonal bitch.

Iv had the flu all day and last night. Dp went to his mums house to sort out some of his old stuff. He texted me at 4 saying he doesn't want to be back late as he wants to cook tea. Fine, I didn't cook myself anything and sorted the kids out.

He walked in at 7 with some food for himself from his mum, made his own tea and than sat and ate it next to me. Before he even had said hello!!

I'm so upset. I'm hungry, poorly and pregnant.

😩😩😩😩

So Iv stormed off upstairs and he hasn't even asked me what's wrong.

what are you saving money for ?

an escape fund, I hope

What an arse! Ask him what you did to upset him because it sounds like he's having a strop over something. Im not saying you deserved it at all but it might be that he feels that way and you need to talk to him and tell him that wasn't the way to deal with it and he needs to be more thoughtful of the fact that he's left his pregnant missus at home with flu and kids to think of. A bit of dinner wouldn't have gone a miss.
Although is dinner really something to fight over? I would have said "I thought you were actually cooking for both of us? Remember how you said that?" and insist that he clearly forgot and it might be time he got up off his bum and looked after you.
He could also be in a mood if something went down at his mums.
Until you guys actually talk to each other, you can't know for sure what happened.

People with flu aren't capable of leaving their bed afaik.

Bollocks.

I know a couple of people who have had real flu, diagnosed by doctors, tests, etc who have certainly been able to leave their beds and even eat.

OK, so the majority probably wouldn't want to eat or get up, but it's by now means guaranteed all people are affected the same.

But this chap is not very nice.

This is one occasion, OP says this is unusual and he normally does most of the cooking. But my mumsnet knows that he is scum and op should be saving for an escape fund. Mumsnet can be so weird.

do people really post here when behaviour like this is genuinely a one-off ?

I don't think so.

Dh did that to me once. He told me he would get dinner and then showed up with one portion of fish and chips and one cold beer. I wasn't pregnant but I still nearly strangled him. Just treat yourself to your absolutely favourite meal and make just your own portion. And give him the flu.

Why did his mum not send food for you too. Did he not tell her that stressedmamma would like some too. I would send him out to get a take away for you inconsiderate oaf .

Agree Raspberry, I've had proper, diagnosed flu, complete with just about every secondary 'itis' you can think of. DH called the GP to come out to me (back in the home visit days), and went to work.

Me, being me, decided the house was a pit and cleaned it thoroughly before the GP got here. Then promptly fainted after opening the door to the Dr.

"I have access to joint money and my own money, I just can't justify a take away plus I don't really fancy one"

This is the bit that makes me so sad, and also makes me suspect that the OP comes in second every single time her H makes a choice.

She is hungry and pregnant and can't justify ordering some food. And yes, I know you don't fancy it. But you need to eat and maybe if you didn't have flu you would be ravenous.

The principle is still the same -- you are worth spending money on. You are worth feeding, and hang the cost. You are worth feeding even if you're not pregnant.

^This^^^

agree with Raspberryregarding flu not making everyone bedridden. I really think men milk it for all its worth. I swear last year i had the flu but husband came down with it first, so he was in bed with all the symptoms of death. He was there telling me he was dying he was sorry for all the times hes not been good to me etc etc. I held the bucket for him to vomit, bought meals for him, fed him, gave him hot water bottles meds.

2 days later i was down with it, i knew because i felt sluggish, and had malaise, and a temp shortly after. I didn't tell him because he was too busy feeling sorry for himself. I had to carry on cook for my 4 kids and his mum no choice really, what would i do let them starve? who would dress and bathe them?

day 4 he was feeling a bit better. so i told him ive come down with it if i don't rest a bit then i wont recover quickly. He said what i predicted "you cant have flu you[re walking around doing all chores". so apparently ive not had the flu for the last 10 yrs of our marriage? lets just say i never tell him when i am ill no point really. if i get hospitalised which i have been once he will know about it anyway.

what an utter twat. I'd be fuming grrrr!

Just to say that my appetite was huge during pregnancy and even when I was ill with nausea and colds I would still want to eat. It was impossible to ignore and I am usually a small eater. I would cook a lot but never finish meals. Doesn't mean I didn't think I wanted them!

Also a mother with the flu is no ordinary person. Think you can't get out of bed? Think you can't possibly cook? You have small people to keep alive and zero help or family nearby. Think again.

I guess some people are just molly coddled in life. diddums

Oh kat just read this last page and your post. Poor you, what a prize. You're a saint.

Sounds like he misunderstood, considering you say that this is a once-off.

He obviously doesnt give a shit so why should you. Now you can cook for yourself and he can have whatever is left over if anything