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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to not be able to decide whether to go back to work or not?

16 replies

frogprince · 09/03/2016 16:07

I'm due to go back to work soon after maternity leave. I've done the calculations and if I do go back to work after childcare is paid for we will be slightly worse off. I can't decide what to do it's going around and around in my mind and I have to make a decision soon.

My job is minimum wage, little chance of progression but I can get a qualification there which could make it easier for me to get the job I really want. I can't do this otherwise. I enjoy it sometimes but other times I hate it. I'd love to stay at home with the baby and not have to leave her but the thought of not having a job is making me feel a bit panicky. It's only part time as well so would only be two long days.

Please help me decide because I can't see the wood for the trees.

OP posts:

Augustwedding · 09/03/2016 16:11

I've just made the decision to go back 2 days a week. My decision was based on several factors. Financially we would be slightly better off. Obviously in your case this is not so. I also considered that I needed paid mat leave in a few years when we want a second child, my son would enjoy nursery and i need some time for just me, even if this is at work!

It's a very hard decision x

BarbaraofSeville · 09/03/2016 16:11

Can you do at least one of your shifts when your partner is at home to look after the baby so you don't have to pay for childcare?

Oysterbabe · 09/03/2016 16:12

I'm going back 3 days a week (although not thinking about it right now as I will want to cry), is that an option? What does your parts think?

Joolsy · 09/03/2016 16:13

I was in your situation few yrs ago but I had to go back for 12 weeks at least to get my maternity pay. I really didn't want to go back but I'm so glad I did. Remember, in a couple of years you'll get 15 hours free childcare. I guess you don't know until you go back and try it. I also loved adult company and not just kids all the time!

Oysterbabe · 09/03/2016 16:13

*partner

Original poster

frogprince · 09/03/2016 16:29

We aren't planning on any more babies so I won't need to stay for maternity leave. I can't work around Dp because he works in the week too and my job isn't open weekends. I can only go back for two days, they won't let me work 3. Dp is leaning more towards me not going back.

OP posts:

LittleBearPad · 09/03/2016 17:49

If you go back and give it a few months you can always resign and stay home if it doesn't worn out for you all

SaigonSaigon · 09/03/2016 18:02

It's a difficult one and only you know how you really feel about it, but 2 days a week to get a qualification that could lead to a better future job does need consideration. How long before you can get to this? If you leave the job and therefore this possibility, it may be something you regret in the future.

However they are only babies for a short time and you won't be making any money from it after childcare, so I can see the dilemma.

Give yourself options for the future, with work, whichever way you go. Good luck!

Artistic · 09/03/2016 18:07

I'd go back to work if I were you - since 2 days away from each other will benefit you and your baby. Enjoy the 2 days of being by yourself and enjoy getting back to baby the other days. And meanwhile get the qualification. It's a win win.

Think of the ££ you will be worse off as payment toward your qualification.

Original poster

frogprince · 09/03/2016 18:15

The qualification will take a year I think.

OP posts:

milkandmarmite · 09/03/2016 18:18

I'd go back if it was me. It was me and I did. And I enjoy it. I feel I have the best of both worlds really.

phoenix1973 · 09/03/2016 18:19

Stick with your job. There are other threads about some of us sahm's who have left the job only to struggle to get ANY job years later when the kids go to school.
As your job is only 2 days, stick with it.

redskytonight · 09/03/2016 18:22

For the sake of 2 days, especially with a year to gain a worthwhile qualification I'd definitely do it!

Original poster

frogprince · 09/03/2016 18:35

Yes that's what worries me if me and Dp were to split up or if I couldn't get a job when I needed one.

OP posts:

ShelaghTurner · 09/03/2016 18:43

It doesn't get any easier. I had an interview this week for my first job in four years after I left for maternity leave and didn't go back. I've just turned down the second interview because actually I've decided that my 4yo really won't settle in childcare for the few months till she starts school and the best thing for her is to stay at home. When I sent in the application though I was dead keen on the job! I really don't know my own mind anymore.

Artistic · 10/03/2016 22:44

I dreaded getting back to work after both my maternity breaks. But a month later how I've loved it! I don't really care how much I earn or don't (3 days) as I just love the sanity of doing a job and using my brain - for something not related to family/home/kids/husband. I also like my DD going to child are and being an independent person for a few days each week - she's blooming and learning so many things that I couldn't be teaching her on my own.

You will never regret going back to work - I can almost promise you that. And if you do, you can always quit!

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