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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I a shit parent?

26 replies

Inneedofadvice553 · 08/03/2016 17:00

I have done something I don't feel good about. Picked up six year old dc after school and said we had to go to the doctors.

Doctors had called and said I had some abnormal blood tests (again) and I needed to come in last minute.

Dd spent doctors appointment (10 mins) running around the room and shouting despite being told to come and sit down. dd is well aware of how to behave and that she was mis behaving. I couldn't even hear the doctor or think properly. we left and I banned the afternoon treat, and have sent her to her room to complete homework. (we would normally do it together over snacks)

she is upset and I feel really bad but so angry she played up like that in such a crucial time . Have I been too harsh on her?

OP posts:
Spandexpants007 · 08/03/2016 17:02

That's fine. She knew she needed to behave so will have to put up with the punishment which is great because it's immediate and clear

Yulia989 · 08/03/2016 17:07
  1. You are completely normal to punish your daughter, especially if she knows how to behave properly.
  1. You don't need to add the info about your blood tests to garner sympathy.
MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 08/03/2016 17:08

I would of done the same

Flowers
RubbleBubble00 · 08/03/2016 17:10

Fair consequences for bad behaviour.

OohMavis · 08/03/2016 17:10

Blimey Yulia Hmm

The punishment is fair. She's 6? Definitely old enough to know she shouldn't be running around shouting when you're talking to a doctor. Don't feel bad.

Tootsiepops · 08/03/2016 17:12

Sounds entirely appropriate.

No need to be so harsh Yulia

lessthanBeau · 08/03/2016 17:15

Seriously, this is a question? kid misbehaves , gets punished. No wonder the world is abound with entitled brats if their parents are questioning basic discipline.
Perhaps you should have taken her home had a long in depth discussion on why you think her behaviour was inappropriate, asked her valid opinion on how she thinks she should be behaving, come up with a compromise that allows her to behave as she wants when she wants, so as not to damage her fragile self esteem!

Jeeez ,here, have a grip!

TurnOffTheTv · 08/03/2016 17:19

Is there any need Yulia? Really?
What you did was fine OP.

Topseyt · 08/03/2016 17:21

You are not a shit parent. You are a good one and trying to enforce the boundaries.

Have a Brew and leave her to stew in her room for a while. It won't harm her.

99percentchocolate · 08/03/2016 17:22

What you did was fine and you certainly aren't a shit parent.

I hope the abnormal blood test can be resolved quickly for you. Flowers

Yulia, really uncalled for.

LoveBoursin · 08/03/2016 17:37

To be really honest, I would have had a really bad go at her whilst at the GP and made her to sit and be quiet.
This was an important time for you, you needed to be able to think and lsiten. Instead she has wasted everyone's time.

Much better to deal with it right then imo.

Youarentkiddingme · 08/03/2016 17:41

yulia any need?
Personally I would imagine that info was added to prevent the million and one post asking why she made appointment for after school and blaming the op for taking her DD after a long day.

Yanbu. You asked her to sit down - she chose not to - now she's suffering the consequences. Next time I expect she'll remember and hopefully choose the sensible option.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 08/03/2016 17:41

Yanbu, as you said, she's old enough to know that she was misbehaving, and is normally able to behave. When she's calmed down a bit have a chat about acceptable behaviour.

Drew64 · 08/03/2016 17:41

Threats without consequences are useless! You followed through with a consequence to her bad behaviour, GOOD ON YOU!
Far from bad parenting, it's good parenting.

WowOoo · 08/03/2016 17:42

No, you are not bad at all.
Go and talk to her. Tomorrow is another day!

FigMango1 · 08/03/2016 17:43

Why didn't you deal with her right then and there? You are not a bad parent, you just need to be more confident. She missed a treat and had to sit in her room, you shouldn't be that distraught over it.

CamboricumMinor · 08/03/2016 17:44

What TopseyT said. YANBU. Yulia on the other hand......

Peppassista · 08/03/2016 17:47

Doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong!
In the kid's defense, she probably picked up on your stress, rushing to the GP's at the last minute etc. She'll learn, with your help, to cope when things don't run as expected.
I think you sound like a good Mum.

tinyterrors · 08/03/2016 17:48

You're not a bad parent. The consequence is fair.

I know she's young still and been at school all day but she's more than old enough to know not to run round and mess about at the doctors.

Let the consequence stand and maybe have a chat later about why she lost her treat.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 08/03/2016 17:50

Why do you think you're unreasonable? I don't understand it. You reprimanded your dd for misbehaving.

Original poster
Inneedofadvice553 · 08/03/2016 18:10

Thanks everyone for the responses.

Yulia I only mentioned it to example that it was a last minute appointment and that my dd is used to doctors appointments. At no point was I trying to canvass sympathy or think I have implied that.

I think it could be unreasonable due to the age of my child. I felt bad as she is only young and the doctors appointment was last minute and I hadn't seen her all day and within half an hour of school I was shouting at her.

I'm glad other people think the punishment was appropriate,

OP posts:
HappySeven · 08/03/2016 18:10

I agree, YANBU.

I don't understand why people are offended by Yulia's post though. Have you all read a different one to me?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 08/03/2016 18:14

It's normal to feel guilty about everything. I think it's part of being a mum. Smile

Flumplet · 08/03/2016 18:22

Yulia - the information was relevant.

Op - you dealt with the situation entirely appropriately. Hope you get yourself sorted soon. Thanks

LoveBoursin · 08/03/2016 18:29

Nope it was totally reasonnable to expect her to be quiet and sat down at a Dr appointment.