To take away DD's tablet after she ran up £180 bill on games?!

[Glittermud]

She got it for her birthday and was thrilled. We naively assumed that she was a mature and trustworthy (relatively speaking) 8 yr old. But then this morning I saw in my account that she has spent over £180 on my card buying ridiculous coins and games and characters.

We had sat her down and explained how the 'free' games worked and had told her not to even consider buying anything but to approach us first if she felt that she wanted to. She agreed and we trusted her. And now here we are.

DH has suggested confiscating it for a week or two and I am fighting the desire to take it away permanently. Am I an unreasonable hot head? What would be the best punishment?!

This happens a lot OP, it happened to me, And after feeling anger initially, I soon realised it was my own fault for allowing my 8 yr old access to my credit card.

the good news was, I got all the money back. Both from Apple, and then again from my bank (so I and to give the bank's money back).

Contact Amazon, and contact your bank. You may well get your money back.

Then use vouchers only from now on. I do not have my credit card linked to Amazon, Apple etc. anymore!

Easy peasy, no stress really.

Please don't resort to drinking value gin, I could not bear it

And we had a bill of £600!!!!!

So your DD was restrained really.

I'd take £20 out of her account then. It probably doesn't have a cash card, so you'll have to transfer it online. But even if it meant going to the cashpoint and taking £20 out of my own account whilst telling her it was out of hers (which it would be because if the transfer) I would do it. Not meanly or shoutily, just matter of factly. Because she needs to connect online spending with cold hard cash.

I know what Cocaine is. What are shopkins? 😄

ProfGrammaticus Pure. Evil.

BabyGanoush Just for you I will purchase some Sipsmith. I couldn't have any more anguish on my hands after today's upset.

Just confiscate her cocaine, that'll learn her.

I set up ds android phone without card details. He can get free games and that's it. Can you not do that on tablets?

You can, Paul

OP, it seems from this and other threads that you can probably get all your money back from Amazon.

yeah you were a bit silly not to have locked out in app purchases and to have left your CC details on there... But hey ho you love and learn.

Defo take away the tablet for a period of time.

Hi OP I'm not going to rub it in about parental locks as you've already admitted idiocy there (although controls exist not just to block purchases but also inappropriate content so please do sort this out before giving the tablet back)

Re punishment for your DD I would confiscate for a week or 2 - as you said you did speak to her about inappropriate purchases, she has acted against your instructions. She needs to learn, above all that if she is in doubt/worried about anything she sees online, she should talk to you/check with you before clicking (again this applies to safety as well as purchases)

Amazon Fire has really good parental controls - read up on it before handing back the tablet

This is absolutely your fault and you shouldn't be blaming a child for not taking measures preventing her from downloading games.
On an iPad you get go to Settings, setup Restrictions and then ban all In-App purchases (or anything else you want). I have a 6-year old and she can play on her tablet on her own because she has the proper setup - restrictions to download games etc, only age-appropriate books and movies etc. The tablet runs under my account but she's never created any problem because all purchases are vetted by us.
Setup the tablet properly and don't punish a child for your own mistakes.

If you install the free version of Avast anti virus for mobile, it allows you to install a password before any purchases are made.

Test that, it only protects 2 apps on the free version but if it works then you can purchase the full software and protect unlimited app.

www.avast.com/en-gb/free-mobile-security

Martina the Op's daughter is 8, she should have known better. Yes, op, made a mistake but at what age should her daughter be held accountable for doing something she knows is wrong?

I like you Glittermud - and I think OYBBK's and gamerchick's advice are both good - restore to factory settings and practice your 'sorry we can't afford it' DM sadface

I'd ban the device for a week, that's a long time when you're 8 and make a list of chores to 'pay' for the money she's spent. I'd also see if you can get a refund from Apple or Amazon.
My dc's have iPad games linked to my card. Every game requires I input an apple password which they don't know. The eldest is now allowed to know his password but he also knows if he buys something without permission he will be in trouble.

At 8 I wouldn't trust them to understand it's real money. My kids thought my card in the supermarket was free money it's quite a concept to equate a PIN number with actual cash. In fact some adults don't grasp that which is why using cash rather than cards is often suggested to help with budgeting for adults.

Did she actually lie though? Did she understand that the money she was spending in the game was actual real money?
If she's playing a game where she is spending in game money to buy stuff then spending real money won't seem so different really.

If you've given her sufficiently free rein with a tablet that she bought that amount of paid stuff and you didn't know till the bill arrived, how do you know she isn't also ignoring you about not playing multi-player, communicative games, too? TBH I'd see this as a wake-up call and start monitoring her online behaviour very closely indeed. The internet isn't a safe playground for young kids alone.

Have you contacted the company and explained? My Dd spent £500 on itunes. Apple refunded me immediately.

My friend had this problem. Her DS ran up £90 in purchases in a week but hadn't realised he was buying, as it was a free game. She complained to whoever controls the game, said it was a child that had made purchases and that the game was confusing as it charges without them realising they are purchasing. Also that the game is aimed at children and firm carols should be In place to prevent such purchases. She got the money back in full which softened the blow somewhat. Could you approach the game distributor/ manufacturer and try getting a refund?

You're right about the Internet needing close monitoring. Trust me, I'm not usually this much of an idiot.

I've tried to find a number to contact Amazon but can't seem to.

Okay... Maybe I am usually this much of an idiot.

But I know my child and she has a firm grasp on money. She's always had to save (and always chooses to given the choice). However, online spending is maybe an abstraction too far.

It's too easy to idealise your child's maturity and intelligence.

As other have mentioned set them up a specific account ( i think you can flag some accounts as a child/restricted content) topped up with vouchers. Same goes for XBOX etc - female colleague exclimed at FIFA footbal add-ons DS has bought.

Lock it down; but don't get too angry. She is 8. She hasn't got an adult brain yet.