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Original poster

To take away DD's tablet after she ran up £180 bill on games?!

150 replies

Glittermud · 08/03/2016 12:49

She got it for her birthday and was thrilled. We naively assumed that she was a mature and trustworthy (relatively speaking) 8 yr old. But then this morning I saw in my account that she has spent over £180 on my card buying ridiculous coins and games and characters.

We had sat her down and explained how the 'free' games worked and had told her not to even consider buying anything but to approach us first if she felt that she wanted to. She agreed and we trusted her. And now here we are.

DH has suggested confiscating it for a week or two and I am fighting the desire to take it away permanently. Am I an unreasonable hot head? What would be the best punishment?!

OP posts:
MTPurse · 08/03/2016 13:20

I have been caught out with something similar though, my ds's needed live gold on their xbox to play a certain game which they had, I had no idea how to do this so called customer support who talked me through it.

Our bank statement was 4 pages long of xbox purchases totalling £800+. They had been buying skins for mine craft and all the latest games. once I realised what had happened I contacted microsoft and I was extremely lucky they refunded all the money back to us. The only reason I got the money back was because when I first contacted customer support the phone call was recorded, I clearly told them that it was for a 6 & 8 year old and the advisor never told me to set up a child account but advised me to set up an adult account instead meaning my card details would be stored.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 08/03/2016 13:21

:o Glittermud I was about to pile in with the cries of "its mainly your own fault for having credit card details on there" Blush but I see you have absolutely conceded that!

Suitable punishment - take it away for a week (longer if she isn't repentant) and set an amount she has to repay with a combination of pocket money and chores - I'd probably go for 10% - during that week/ 2 weeks. If she hasn't done enough chores to top her pocket money repayment up to say 18 pounds she won't get it back until she has.

Give it back with a very stiff talking too. Agree with others that she probably didn't fully have her head wrapped around the fact she was spending very significant amounts of real money!

Obviously wipe the tablet so she loses the unauthorised purchases and ensure there is no way to spend your money when she has it back.

NewLife4Me · 08/03/2016 13:22

Sorry, but I too think it's mainly your fault.
At 8 there is no way there would have been a function for mine to have bought anything.
I think you just have to chalk it up to experience and maybe be more careful in the future.
It's not a trust thing imo, but an age thing.
You can't really expect maturity for this until they are much older.
i have heard of teens doing this, so at 8?

dementedpixie · 08/03/2016 13:23

You could try contacting Amazon customer services and see if they will refund some or all of the money she has spent

ouryve · 08/03/2016 13:23

Short ban - enough to make a point - and get it sorted out so she can't make that mistake again (disable in app purchases, password protect anything that could potentially get her into trouble eg play store, settings).

A lot of games enable you to "buy" things with gems or tokens as well as buy things for real. The difference is not immediately obvious to a newby/child and obviously wasn't to you, too. I think you now know that, in future, you need to do your homework before giving gifts like this.

Original poster
Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:23

I think inheriting my idiocy genes is probably punishment enough. However, she has lied so some kind of come back for that is necessary, surely?

OP posts:
VoldysGoneMouldy · 08/03/2016 13:23

What out and out lying?

yomellamoHelly · 08/03/2016 13:23

All purchases on our devices is password protected. Dc have to ask for permission for even the free ones. (Makes them think twice about whether they really want.) That said eldest really likes receiving googleplay gift cards with money. (Those are set up on his own account so he knows the password.)

Think I'd say she needs to pay back half (so £90) and give her the opportunity to do chores for money (rather than taking all her birthday / Christmas money for the next couple of years going on it). Gets it back when she's paid half of it back.

IAmNotAMindReader · 08/03/2016 13:24

She had the talk about in game purchases and temptation got the better of her. Now you all know better and she needs to know that these actions do have consequences.
Another stern talking to, a few weeks ban and a nominal amount to be paid back via pocket money and/or chores around the house.

Go through it with a fine tooth comb and ensure there is no longer a way to in game purchase.

MrsJorahMormont · 08/03/2016 13:25

Oh FFS give the OP a break.

You're not a moron OP. You made a mistake and were a little too trusting of your child. Contact Amazon customer services if it's Kindle and ask them for refund - beg and plead. Take tablet away for a fortnight then return with locks in place and a kid's profile set up on it.

Original poster
Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:26

So what I'm hearing here is that it would probably be wrong to sell her to get the money back?

OP posts:
Sistersweet · 08/03/2016 13:26

Why on earth do you have your card linked to her account? And why is the contact not your email address and that way you would know immediately if she was buying things she shouldn't. And why was in-app purchase on? She's 8, not 13 so I wouldn't punish her I would sort out your settings and put it down to experience

stealthkick · 08/03/2016 13:27

It's a kindle fire not an iPad. Try ringing amazon customer service as they are usually really helpful. The good news is that parental controls are very easy - pull down the tabs at the top and select parent controls - you just have a password to put on and they can't do anything like watch 15s or buy stuff without it. We didn't use the child safe kindle software just the controls like that.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 08/03/2016 13:27

Please explain about the lying - do you mean you actually asked her "DD have you bought any coins etc?" and she said "No" or what?

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 08/03/2016 13:27

Agree it's your fault. DS has kindle fire and it is registered to an account that has no card details (it's not set up as child account as that was pain in the arse) it also sends me a email every time even a free game is downloaded only because I haven't got around to switching that automatic feature of.

MyLifeisaboxofwormgears · 08/03/2016 13:29

She lied because she was frightened she would get shouted at and punished.

Don't punish her -explain the purchase controls were on by mistake, that they have now been disabled and how easy it is to accidentally spend money online and use it as a way she can learn about how easy it to spend money on tablets and phones without even noticing.

My 12 yo DD has a kindle and she can make purchases - first of all, it instantly messages DH if she does this, and second, because we have spoken to her about how things cost money and not running up big bills she always asks us before she purchases and is fully aware what we pay for and what is going to come out of her pocket money. But she's 12 - when she was 8 she would not have had the option to purchase!
I may also add, that due to this arrangement she is now queen of knowing what Amazon is giving away free at any time of the day or night and she's downloaded some great stuff for free!

honeyiwashedmyhair · 08/03/2016 13:29

Mackerel - my friend's little boy is 2, he can play games (on the iPad) but he doesn't even understand numbers yet! So, if you know how to download/play games - it doesn't mean you can enter card details!

OhYouBadBadKitten · 08/03/2016 13:29

lesson learned I think and a good reminder to all parents. The games make money because the in app purchases are sooooo tempting. Id phone amazon and beg. As for punishment, Id try and match it to the crime. If there was something she was looking forward to that costs money Id cancel it as you simply cant afford it now the money has gone, if there is nothing, then stopping treats for a bit would do the same. a grave quiet logical explanation about why you cant afford it would be the best tactic I think.
Dont keep it up too long though.

Original poster
Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:29

Yes, we said 'have you been spending real money in xxx app?' and she said 'no'. Out and out lying.

But I agree, she is eight and immature and I am much older and a twat. It's a toxic cocktail that promises idiocy.

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 08/03/2016 13:30

TBF to the OP, "We had sat her down and explained how the 'free' games worked and had told her not to even consider buying anything but to approach us first if she felt that she wanted to."

So handing the thing back without punishment doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I'd confiscate it for a few weeks and have her contribute to the £180 out of pocket money/savings if possible.

Original poster
Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:31

She lied because she was frightened she would get shouted at

OP posts:
DonkeyOaty · 08/03/2016 13:32

Come on people -OP has had her kicking and accepted with rather good grace

Glitter, she can have it back on the weekend. Might be worth contacting Amazon and seeing if they might waive all/some of the ££?

Live and learn innit

dementedpixie · 08/03/2016 13:33

Contact Amazon customer services. They may refund some of it as a gesture of goodwill

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 08/03/2016 13:33

Glitter I disagree with those saying no punishment though - I have an 8 yo and if he did that I would still be furious - 8 isn't 4... My 8 yo doesn't have any devices but my 10 yo has a phone and a tablet (10 is our age for owning your own) and at 10 DD absolutely 100% knows what she is doing and is very careful indeed not to spend money (even though there are no credit card details in, she is very aware of reading everything carefully and not entering into any purchases, being careful about who she interacts with etc. etc.)

If a teen spent my money on gaming without my permission they would be paying the full amount back and not getting the device back until they had done so.

Some people are going a bit far the other way IMO!

You are being punished with the bill, but your 8 yo should be punished too by losing the tablet for a week or two, doing chores and / or forfeiting pocket money to contribute a tokenary amount towards the money she has taken (token amount on the assumption she didn't understand her actions fully) and a tablet restored to factory settings so she doesn't profit from what she has done by keeping the purchases!

Original poster
Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:33

OhYouBadBadKitten yes, that sounds utterly reasonable.

OP posts: