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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take away DD's tablet after she ran up £180 bill on games?!

150 replies

Glittermud · 08/03/2016 12:49

She got it for her birthday and was thrilled. We naively assumed that she was a mature and trustworthy (relatively speaking) 8 yr old. But then this morning I saw in my account that she has spent over £180 on my card buying ridiculous coins and games and characters.

We had sat her down and explained how the 'free' games worked and had told her not to even consider buying anything but to approach us first if she felt that she wanted to. She agreed and we trusted her. And now here we are.

DH has suggested confiscating it for a week or two and I am fighting the desire to take it away permanently. Am I an unreasonable hot head? What would be the best punishment?!

OP posts:

SouthWesterlyWinds · 08/03/2016 13:33

She lied because to her it's play money. She didn't associate it with real money or a real bank account. Lock down the account, password protect, unlink your card / bank account and remove all internet privileges for the next two weeks other than for homework. Don't get the money off her. It's both you and your DH's fault that you didn't set it up properly. Lesson learnt.

JanetOfTheApes · 08/03/2016 13:34

You would have to be a majorly 'savvy' 8 year old to understand the intricacies of adding your parents debit card details to a tablet

My 8 year old is clearly a budding criminal mastermind, because he understood exactly that, and was only tripped up by not being able to work out which number was the CVV security code. Little shite.

OP, don't beat yourself up about it, its so common. I don't think the posters telling you that she has no responsibility at all for it are right. Yes, you dropped the ball, but you know your kid....if you think they knew what they were doing, and lied about it, then I'm sure you are right. No-one here can comment on that.

How about "earning" some of it back to pay you, and as a concrete example of money. Draw up a list of chores she is able to do, and a monetary value of each one, 50p for this and that etc. Then as she does them, you put the money in the jar, and show her how long it will take to pay what she has spent that way. And pocket money can also go in the jar as well.

MadamDeathstare · 08/03/2016 13:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/03/2016 13:36

Like pp said amazon underground apps are free included add ons. Download lots of these for your dd and change your settings so no chargeable in app purchases are aloud.
Secondly phone amazon ask to speak to a supervisor the UK call centre is better. Tell them your dd's age and request a refund , you will probably get one.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 08/03/2016 13:37

Glitter
Don't sell your child to get the money back, I am pretty sure there are rules about that sort of thing

Don't be too hard on yourself either. It sounds like a breakdown in communication between you and your DH.

JanetOfTheApes · 08/03/2016 13:37

And as well, I would take the tablet away for a while, not as a punishment as such, but in a "sorry but we thought you were old enough to be trusted with it and we clearly got that wrong" way.

molyholy · 08/03/2016 13:37

Yes that was my point Janet. He couldn't do it as things like CVV code would throw most 8 yr olds.

NightWanderer · 08/03/2016 13:38

It's really confusing in these games what's real money and what's play money. On my sons kindle fire, I have set parental controls so he needs a password to make any kind of purchase. I guard that password with my life.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 08/03/2016 13:38

Try contacting Amazon although they might roll there eyes as they always trying to flog the kids Amazon feature but it's worth a try. End of day virtual money doesn't really hold same value as cold hard cash! As an adult I find it easy to spend online than I do just walking into a shop.

Delete all the kindle stuff set up a new email address with no card attached.

Original poster

Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:40

I think she was just being thoughtless; WHERE DOES SHE GET THAT FROM?! My card has already been removed from it. We'll restore the factory settings and lock it down.

Thanks, scary mofos.

OP posts:

MrsJayy · 08/03/2016 13:40

Well you were the numpty who put card details on it why did you do that take it away pay the bill and give it back in a week or so there is plenty of free games on Google play she just needs to learn to wait on lives

ProfGrammaticus · 08/03/2016 13:41

I'd confiscate it for two weeks at least. She knew she was doing what she had been told not to do, and she knows not to lie. So there should be a consequence for that behaviour. If she has money I would take some, but probably not a lot, just an amount to ram the point home that she was spending money. As she well knew, but chose not to think about too hard.

JanetOfTheApes · 08/03/2016 13:43

Yes that was my point Janet. He couldn't do it as things like CVV code would throw most 8 yr olds

I have no doubt he would have worked it out with a little more time...he knows how to google! His sibling grassed him up before he could complete his fraudulent scheme.....

ScoutandAtticus · 08/03/2016 13:44

She's 8 so IMO can't be hold responsible for that.

You need to change the settings so a password is required for purchases.

SecretWitch · 08/03/2016 13:44

Op, you have been very open about your own culpability in this incident. We had something similar happen except it involved our six year old and an embarrassing amount of money. Apple refunded our money after a lengthy phone call. We felt disgraced as parents for a long time but now chalk it up to difficult lesson learnt.

Original poster

Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:46

She does have £200 in her bank account.....

OP posts:

Original poster

Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:47

I won't be taking her money - I am utterly to blame for that. I'll go back to Value Gin for a month or two; no harm done.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 08/03/2016 13:47

And if you're a decent sort who can take responsibility for your own mistakes, she'll still have £200 in her account in six months time.......

JanetOfTheApes · 08/03/2016 13:48

I'd take a bit of it, to make a point. Enough for a bottle of Hendricks, at least

FoxFeatures · 08/03/2016 13:52

I think Janet has a good point.

ProfGrammaticus · 08/03/2016 13:56

Does she have cash money you can take to make the point?

Original poster

Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:56

chin chin!

OP posts:

Zigster · 08/03/2016 13:57

DS2 did something similar.

My DSs have an iPad they share - loaded largely with educational apps plus a few others like Minecraft. It's locked down so they can't do IAPs.

During one very long European car journey I allowed DS2 to use my iPad so they had one each. A few days later I got quite a few emails from Apple with approx £100 of IAPs - "Angry Birds Go" was the main culprit.

My fault entirely for not having locked down my iPad. I couldn't get cross with DS2, although I did explain to him what had happened.

I also deleted all games from Rovio (the makes of Angry Birds) for being greedy little feckers and Rovio remains on my blacklist now. About £50 of the cost was one crappy little upgrade to one crappy little virtual car.

TheCatCupIsMine · 08/03/2016 13:57

The thing is, three are some games where you spend 2 "types" of currency. For example, maybe you win stars every time you complete a level, and then you use the stars to buy things (like extra lives, costumes etc). But then maybe there are also diamonds, which they give you 20 of to start with, and then you can buy more. These are used to buy special costumes or whatever. But to an 8-year-old, that's quite confusing having 2 currencies, and since she can earn stars for free, she thinks the diamonds are also free. Does that make sense? So she may honestly not think she's spending real money.

I would take the tablet away, get it locked down (contact Amazon for help if you need to), and keep it for a few weeks. Then give it back, but locked down so she CAN'T spend money on it. In terms of punishment, it really depends on how much she understood - I'd give an 8-year-old the benefit of the doubt, to be honest. I'd have her doing extra housework for those weeks, or something like that.

When she gets it back, she gets limited time on it, and has to prove she's learned her lesson and is being careful.

And try contacting Amazon to see whether they will refund you this time. Good luck!

Original poster

Glittermud · 08/03/2016 13:57

She has no money. She had a bit after her birthday but it all got frittered away on Shopkins and cocaine.

OP posts:

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