To think its near on impossible to have a cheap wedding?

[DownUnderBound]

In our many years and dc together we have actually booked and cancelled two weddings packages! Each time turned into a circus, with everyone else thinking it was all about them, and taking over, moaning & making us feel guilty over small guestlists etc.(not inviting second cousins we literally dont even know) I have a feeling of its now or never, not getting any younger! But a googling session tonight has confirmed that it cannot be done! Am I wrong? Any tips?

We did registry office with just us, our DC and their partners and DH's dad (only living parent) and a chinese meal afterwards on the day. Cost less than £400 including rings, my dress (Jaques Vert sale), his suit (Matalan) and the meal.

We got married on a weekday then hired a local hall for a big party on the following Saturday. 170ish guests, we did all the catering ourselves with help from friends and family, mate DJ'd, another mate made us a cake - that came in at under £500 too.

So less than £1000 for a small private ceremony and a big public party, which was just how we wanted it.

Why would you (or anyone) want a Wedding Package anyway? I hate bloody identikit weddings (church ceremony, bride in a big frock, overpriced and overcooked meal after, millions and millions of photos etc. etc., so dull! I think quirkier weddings are much more fun for guests. But that's my opinion, the important thing is you decide what you want, and stick to it! Present everything as a fait accompli, otherwise people will try to get you to change things to suit them. And good luck!

Lol at all the people who think £5-7K "isn't much" !

We had a package and still managed to make the wedding ours it definitely wasn't exactly like everyone else's it was very much us.
We didn't get married in the hotel and one of the main reasons we picked the package over our original idea was for the comfort of our guests, the majority of which were travelling in for it. We got a great deal to be able to offer everyone plenty to eat and drink.

I hated my 'traditional' wedding because the MIL hijacked it (only child ...)and it turned into a very tense day with everything choreographed, and quite a few grumbly guests unhappy with the seating plan, the food, etc. Had I my time over, I'd go for a no guests wedding (registry office or church as the fancy takes) plus a later barney somewhere cheap and cheerful, like, as others have suggested, in a pub or church hall.

We thought about eloping, but reckoned there was a reasonable chance MIL would have a heart attack!

And forget wedding photographers, unless you want traditional gooey pictures of your sparkling eyes looking up (never down, whatever your height) into your DH's eyes.

I am amazed at how cheaply people are managing to do their weddings. We are getting married next month and it is costing us £12k with a lot of hard work and significant contributions from friends and family. My spreadsheet is very detailed, so it is a true picture of the total cost - no surprises and I have accounted for every penny!

Initially we were going to elope. It was all booked and paid for, then DP decided to tell his parents and they went berserk. We invited them, not good enough. We had arranged a lunch at a lovely restaurant for 75 friends and family, and hired a nearby pub function room for the evening, not good enough. It threatened to permanently damage the relationship so we didn't go ahead. We did go on the trip (which was amazing) and then put the plans on the back burner as we couldn't afford the type of wedding they wanted.

Three years on we felt ready to have another go! So we have hired a local hall at a quirky place (licensed for the ceremony too). We have friends DJing, doing photos and designing all invites etc, all for free. A talented friend is doing the make up, and my stepdad is driving me so, no wedding car. I'm making my own desserts (chocolate cupcakes) and my own three tier naked wedding cake, and favours will be homemade fudge. All minimal cost. Making my own table settings, using paper napkins, decorated my own jam jars for flowers, again for pennies. Made packs for kids with crayons, bubbles etc to keep them busy! We're taking a short break after in a cottage in the UK, no Maldives trip for us!

We have limited the guest list to 100 (confirmed) plus babies and including kids. Haven't invited any cousins (have 20 plus their partners and kids), which I feel bad about, but couldn't afford to up the guest list that much.

What we weren't prepared to skimp on included:

• a Saturday. Better for teacher friends/family, children etc and means that no one has to take annual leave. This bumped up the hire fee by a few hundred quid but I would rather that than guests struggle with arrangements. Can also make a weekend of it. We've gone for an 'off-peak' time of the year, so it is over £1k cheaper than summer hire.

• food. Firm believer in feeding guests well. We're having informal Italian food but with table service, and doing canapés for the drinks reception. Evening food is crepes served from a van, with unlimited tea and coffee. Total food bill just under £5k - much cheaper (and nicer I think) than a three course traditional meal but still not cheap! No one will be hungry though.

• booze. Total spend £1k to provide lots of wine and welcome drink, champagne for the toast plus soft drinks and pay the licensed bar company to run it all on the day. We did a run to France so made huge savings on good quality matching wine, champagne etc. and we've also paid extra to have cocktails and real ale on tap. It was important to us make sure a guests had plenty to drink on us, but it will be a pay bar in the evening. Am expecting we'll have left over wine!

• my dress. Failed in my initial quest to go for high street or second hand despite looking everywhere. In the end I've spent £2k on dress plus trimmings and shoes. Much more than planned, but I love them.

• wedding ring. Found it very difficult to match a band to my vintage engagement ring so have had something special made for £600. DP is having a £30 titanium ring though!

• DP's suit. He is getting one made for £600, which is as cheap as it gets for made to measure. He has little choice as he's very tall, so all his work suits are made to measure. It will become workwear after the wedding so not a waste!

• flowers. Locally grown seasonal spring flowers from a lovely local business will cost £500. Entirely frivolous but I love flowers. Will do the table arranging myself and give away the jars to guests afterwards. I'm very excited about this, but it is very much an unnecessary cost!

Surprising costs included £450 for the registrar - seems like a lot and more than most people on this thread have paid!

Anyway, good luck with planning OP. I can truly say it's been a pleasure to do (it helps dealing with all a range of amazing small local businesses I think) and I hope you have an amazing day.

The registrar costs depend on share you get married. Literally in the office with two witnesses is cheapest. A nicer room with guests is more expensive. A big room with lots of guests more expensive again. A call-out to a venue is more expensive. Different countries have different rules and charges, so weddings abroad can work out cheaper on fees.

You could also say no gifts but please bring a bottle.

If you and your DP enjoy nice wine you could ask them to bring a bottle and put a message on it, that way each time you open a bottle you will remember those friends!

Good luck.

My sister bought her dress in the sales at Debenhams, about £60. Married in a registry office, about £50, free function hire in a pub, cake was made by a family friend and they put on a small buffet about £50. She sent e-invites and the groom already had his kilt. Our wedding was small too but we bought a package which was £2700, bought my dress from hong Kong made to measure it cost me £50 and it was beautiful and the kilt hire was about £200. So the whole thing was done for under £3000

Absolutely possible.

My hubs and I kept to our £3k budget by getting a simple 'grand wedding for a grand' and adding the cute little touches by buying from Chinese ebay sellers - some bargains there. (My dress was a custom fit copy of a designer dress I'd already bookmarked that I got on ebay for £95!)

We got around the whingey family by setting the date and planning the whole thing in 3months. There was no chance for people to give their 'input' because decisions had to be made straight away and were final. Too bad if people disagreed!

The thing you've got to think about is that at the end of the day you are going to be so overwhelmed with emotion that it kind of goes past in a blur and you realise the only person you can remember seeing all day is your husband.

Good luck this time and I hope you and hubbie can stand your ground and have a beautiful day that YOU want.

Xx

Our hall was free hire they did us a meal for 20and buffet for the evening £500 was 20odd years ago mind you. my dd is getting married she keeps showing me fancy hotel brochures its bringing me out in a sweat

I planned my wedding in 3month well about 14 weeks was great only gripe was mil wanting aunty to come to pad out her side

I got married last year. I got a £25 dress from ebay and won a feather cape from a comp. Bridesmaids wore their own prom dress. Mate put my hair in heated rollers. All we did was an afternoon cream tea for guests at local hotel, sarnies and scones - key here is NOT to ask hotels for a wedding party, say its just a family gathering otherwise they hike the price up! A friend made us a round wedding cake, I bought cupcakes from tesco. Got silk flowers from ebay -£30, made my own sweet trees, rest of decs from ebay -£20. After the wedding I sold everything back on ebay for MORE than I paid as I used the wedding pics to sell them - quids in! Only spent a few hundred quid, biggest outlay was registry office fees, legal fees.

Absobloodylutely, I had immediately family in a local town hall registry office. Dress from Debenhams, just my bouquet and pin flowers. A friend with a Merc done the cars, SIL was an amateur photographer so she did the photos. Another family friend made us a beautiful cake. Everyone was happy to help because we had been living together for 18 years and had 3 kids, so they were relieved more than anything. Dinner for us and our 10 guests cost us nothing because the dads decided to split it. Then Mil babysat and we had a night in the local with lots of friends. So many commented that it was the most enjoyable wedding they'd been to because it was so relaxed.

We spent a lot on our wedding. The main areas of cost are venue hire and catering. If you can keep the numbers down it not only saves on cost, but on the number of people you have to coordinate which is important if you're going to have a party at home. We provided wine, beer and prosecco (plus juice, Coke and lemonade). I didn't do spirits as I thought that might get too messy (it did anyway!)
The only possible trouble with getting people to bring food is that you might end up having to get involved yourself, and people might start having issues about where their dishes have gone etc. At least if you have e.g. Supermarket catering you don't feel like you owe anyone anything.
I did start off with a money saving wedding but ended up getting carried away as I did enjoy planning it. What you have suggested doing sounds really good - I'd love to be invited to a wedding like that!

cookiemonster- your wedding looks and sounds fantastic. What beautiful pictures. I like your style. Selling it all back on eBay is fab!

So glad you're going for it op. We're getting married in May and had a lot of different thoughts about the kind of day we wanted. Originally we were going to have a local wedding because we felt we really had to invite absolutely everybody. Trouble is the numbers and price became crazy!

One day DW said "this is just ridiculous! Let's get married in "beautiful venue in our favourite town in the world" and just have a very small guest list." I knew immediately that was the right decision. Beautiful ceremony in said venue, informal lunch at restaurant afterwards followed by whatever we all feel like doing, move onto a pub, hang out with friends at the beach? Whatever we fancy!

It has been a little bit difficult not to be able to invite some people but we had to be quite strict with numbers so made it imediate family and 2 friends each. It's going to be amazing, we can't wait!!!

What made our wedding were the touches that were free or very cheap so for example my DH made a cake stand out of a bit of tree (which was actually the Christmas tree stand from the previous year) he spray painted his drum kit with our names on, he made a table decoration for when we signed the register out of a stone we found on holiday. It is all those little touches that people commented on and made the day special.

Gorgeous pics cookie!!!

Book a lovely holiday and get married on a beach somewhere.

We didn't have a cheap wedding. Having looked at the online wedding budget planner things we spent about the average amount BUT I spent it very differently.

The bits that were cheaper than "average":

• My dress. Second hand on ebay, cleaned and repaired by a dressmaker friend. My shoes were £13. They were comfy and you couldn't see them under the dress!
• Cake. My mum made my wedding cake and we had a huge table of different cakes made by wedding guests. Looked and tasted amazing!
• Drinks. Pimms for welcome drinks worked out cheap, as did buying barrels of beer from a local brewery.
• Venue. we had a church wedding which was fairly expensive but the reception was in a village hall. It worked out really cheap and looked lovely once we'd filled it with balloons and other bits that we did ourselves with friends and family to help.
• Catering. We had a hog roast, salmon, loads of salads, desserts etc for 120 people in the evening for under £500. In the afternoon we had "afternoon tea". We had caterers in to do sandwiches, tea, coffee and scones then used the cakes from the cake table. This wasn't too expensive, but could be done by friends or relatives or using supermarket catering. If you get married late in the day you can more easily feed people once while having a part into the evening.
• Music. A friend with all the gear did an evening disco for us.

Decide what bits are important to you and prioritise those. Generally guests are happy if they have food, drink and something to do.

Wow, I'm loving this thread you've all given me so many fab ideas, thank you!
congratulations btw Downunder!
We are getting married this year also, my 2nd marriage, so didn't want anything grand and my partner is not into being in the spotlight, a small wedding will suit us fine.
This is what we are doing......
Getting married on a Friday in August at registry office. Cost around £300, as it was either us and 2 guests for £50 or have people we really want on the day and pay a bit more. We told everyone when it is, pretty much all can make the date after moving rotas at work etc.
After we are going to the local pub for a Buffett. Only 25 including children.They have just taken over, so we're hoping to get a good deal? I'm going to try to get a discount by saying they can use pictures etc for there website/advertising?
The next day, we are having a hog roast/bbq at our house for 70 including children. It will start at 12 and finish whenever! We'll warn the neighbours prior to the event! It will be a shorts and t-shirts day - British weather dependant! I hope it's a nice day as we don't have a massive garden and might be a squeeze with 70 in the house?!
I'm using an online site to do invitations and is costing about £25
What I'm going to do now after reading this thread is.....
order a chocolate birthday cake - this is such a genius idea, thank you
Buffet food from a local supermarket - will save me stressing trying to get it all done
Ask guests to bring a bottle - loving this idea
Use Prosecco or Cava instead of champagne - still bubbles eh?🍾
Dress will be high street or Ebay - seen some nice ones for around £100
Ask my cousins hubby to do the pics - he normally takes pics of animals, so this could be interesting🐴
Flowers - just a nice bouquet from M&S or somewhere similar
Entertainment for the kiddies - will look to EBay

We're thinking the total cost will be around £2.5k, and after these ideas I think it will be cheaper.
Sorry to hijack the thread for my personal gain Downunder but I'm sure you'll agree, lots of helpful ideas 😊

I'm going to a wedding later this year where it's a "bring and share" affair - all the guests bring something to contribute to the buffet. I think it's a lovely idea - they've not got much money, and this way it's much more personal and communal.
These days a big white frock is no de rigeur. Go somewhere like lindybop.co.uk and pick up something gorgeous and 50s style for about forty quid. Put a £3 scarf in your hair and hey presto, look a million dollars.
Load a laptop with all your favourite songs, and see if you can borrow a PA/speaker from either a music shop or, if you're lucky like we were, off a mate in a band!

Lots of great suggestions here, so clearly you can.. and we are another couple who had a very small Reg Office ceremony and then a pub party in the evening - worked for us!