To think its near on impossible to have a cheap wedding?

[DownUnderBound]

In our many years and dc together we have actually booked and cancelled two weddings packages! Each time turned into a circus, with everyone else thinking it was all about them, and taking over, moaning & making us feel guilty over small guestlists etc.(not inviting second cousins we literally dont even know) I have a feeling of its now or never, not getting any younger! But a googling session tonight has confirmed that it cannot be done! Am I wrong? Any tips?

Wowzers! M&s party food looks lovely! Just worked out I could feed everyone easily, for less than 300!

M&S party food is lovely but make sure you have lots of willing assistants to help you heat up all the nibbly stuff.

Re. flowers, the flower stalls in most local markets are much cheaper than supermarket or florist and just as nice.

my DP's sister got married in rhodes - so beautiful! then had a big party at a local hall with everyone so all those 'you should have invited' did get invited.. but only to the party.
she also did the very clever thing of saying to family she wanted it all to be a surprise when they got there so didnt reveal v much info on the whole plan at all as she knew it may be a stress causer with overly involved parents/sisters. it worked!

Our wedding and honeymoon cost us less than £850. Registry office all in was about £120. Rings £80 for both of them. Dress was from tu clothing at sainsburys! £16. Didn't need to buy anything else as had shoes to go with it. Had an unusual bouquet which we kept as it was the only thing we would have as a memory really. That was £100. Husband had suit already. Had my parents and their partners and PIL at wedding. That was it. Then £500 for a cabin with a hot tub for a week. We were of the mindset that we wanted to be married and not have a wedding that cost the earth and would forever be paying off. But if you want a big wedding go for it. I detest being the centre of attention so a big wedding was never going to happen.

I haven't read the replies but totally possible. As others have said, Don't mention wedding to any of the people you might pay for stuff, and think about who you know that could help. Ie friends who can make a cake etc. Friends of mine bought their outfits, cake and flowers from Asda. No-one was another wiser. Another friend had old jam jars in all the church window sills with just a couple of flowers in each, looked lovely, and friends and family carried them to the reception too. They also grew small shrubs themselves and put one on each table as centrepiece, then guests were allowed to take them home. Food is your biggest cost if you want lots if guests, but if you have friends or family who will help you can totally do it yourself.

Forgot to say a friend who is good amateur photographer is also useful....

We got married in the local registry office with just our two best friends present. We did hire two cars with drivers and have lunch at a Michelin starred restaurant but I am sure it was three figures total cost.

You can do it cheaply if that is what you want to do. My mother was not impressed tbh but I am sure she had the day she wanted when she got married so I didn't fret.

My NDN cancelled their wedding when it started to get farcical. In the end they went to the registry office with their parents and siblings, then went to M&S for lunch. Bride's dress came from H&m; groom wore a suit he already owned. The grandparents took the DC home and the bride and groom went to a hotel for a champagne tea with friends (present from friends) and stayed over (present from parents).

The register office and lunch came to about £120 ish, and the hotel/tea were presents.

We had a cheapish wedding (about 5k in 2004). Most expensive bit was the catering as we had 100 guests. Definitely ask the guests to bring food instead of a present and you will save loads.

We got married in a registry office with a few friends and DH's mum and then had a BBQ in our back garden. DH wore his one and only suit, I wore a cream top and skirt I bought from a charity shop with a jacket I'd had for ages over the top. The whole thing, including honeymoon (three nights in a B & B on the coast) came to £400.

It was lovely, we had a great day. It comes down to what will make you happy.

My ideal wedding would have been a hired hall where we could run our own bar and have a buffet - but we had guests coming from Scotland, Ireland and the US, so as we planned, it became more of a priority to have it somewhere with good transport links and a venue with rooms so some of the guests could stay overnight. The halls for hire in nice scenic locations near us that I would have loved, (eg cricket pavilions or golf clubs and so on) were all miles from civilisation (in London terms anyway), so we picked a pub which was on a tube line.

Turned out to be a good thing as it snowed on our wedding day and if we'd had the reception somewhere harder to get to, no one would have been able to get home.

So if you do find a good cheap venue for hire, do think about how your guests are getting there and back and what it might cost them!

The things we economised on were fairly far down the list of priority anyway but it felt good to know we were saving money somewhere - did the invitations and thank you cards ourselves via a website, fairly basic design but they looked fine to me! We also DIY'd table names, table plan, menu cards and confetti cones - I ordered dried rose petals off eBay and spent an afternoon making little cones out of newspaper which we got flower girls to hand out. Those things may only have saved us a hundred pounds or so, but it felt good to do some of it ourselves.

But if you are having relatives railroading you into making it a certain type of wedding, OP, and trying to take over....I'd be tempted to run away and do it by yourselves!

The moment you mention the word "wedding", hotels, venues and suppliers start seeing dollar signs and bump prices up ridiculously.

It shouldn't cost any more than a big party. Ours didn't.

Registry Office
High Street dress
Flowers from local market
Photos by best mate and brother
Cars by Dad
Cake by Aunt
Local hall for evening venue.
Local pub for catering
Booze cruise to France for alcohol
err....that's it

So true about the wedding uplift in prices.
A bakery by here does big birthday cakes for about £35. A wedding cake serving the same number of people is £200. I refuse to consider paying £200 for a fucking cake. We were just going to get a birthday cake with plain white icing and a few icing flowers. As it turns out DH's nan sorted out a cake for us.

We found a lovely place that didn't take the P* because it was a wedding. My mum bought me my dress (£150 I think) as her contribution. A relative and friend who both had decent cameras did the photos. Buffet for food was reasonably priced. Our one big extravagance was a live band as our priority was to have a bit of a knees up. Another extravagence we so have not bothered with was putting money behind the bar. No one expected it and a few people abused it. Didn't do wedding cars - got a lift from other guests there. Got an ordinary mini cab home.

Some more distant or older relatives moaned a bit or thought we should do this or not do that. But our close family and friends loved it and thought it was very 'us'. Choose what's the one or two things that are important to you. If you try and do ALL the bells and whistles the costs add up.

Do what you want, sod what auntie whatsit thinks!

We eloped because of family drama. It was lovely! £1k for the week away (somewhere we wanted to go anyway), about £150 for the ceremony plus photos, transport etc -- all sorted in one e-mail, plus a very posh dinner afterwards. It was a great day.

I've been trying to plan a party for the last five bloody years, but something has always come up. Including..... more family drama! However, when it does happen it'll just be a hall (nice historic ones round here), buffet, and booze sourced from a day trip to France. We could do that pretty cheap.

Getting married can be done very cheaply. It's the wedding "party" that costs.

Yes Paddington, and for those that would like it getting married in a church needn't be that expensive in itself, it's just it maybe does tend to raise expectations of what will follow in terms of a reception party. But even then a get together in the village hall or pub can be fairly traditional, and if in village hall can be more DIY and therefore cheaper? If in summer I think some kind of picnic or garden party or BBQ can all be lovely - I think getting outside in a pretty garden brings a lot of charm if you know anyone who might lend one for the occasion?

The problem is there in your OP - "wedding package" - all the elements that make that up are hiked because it is obvious it's a wedding.

You can do it far more cheaply yourself, but you do need to work quite hard to source all the different bits yourself. And don't let people know you're ordering it for a wedding. (A friend of mine booked a funeral car, because it was loads cheaper than booking a wedding car!)

Have fun!

Hijack alert... I have a vague idea of a surprise affair where we get pop to a registry office on our own in the morning then have an informal lunch at home afterwards just for immediate family, but don't tell anyone. Then DH makes a speech and refers to me as his wife and everyone gasps and laughs (hopefully). Would that work? We've been together for 15 years with 2DCs and I'm the least bride-y person in the world!

Sounds cool Maggie

We eloped after 17 years together. We decided to spend the money on our kids who were 4 and 6 and take them to Disney. We had a beach wedding in Florida on a very discreet beach. I couldn't see the point in paying for a big wedding here for family members who I don't even see! Therefore, we thought we'd use that money and go to Florida and whilst there get married! Nice and easy plus stress free and I loved it!

Oh and I didn't bother with a party when we got back...I didn't see the point!

My parents eloped when my mum was 7 months pregnant with me, so to me anything bigger than that is a big do . It took me a while to accept that my fiance did want guests and nice clothes .

I'm getting married in June. I'm half British and half-something else and we're getting married abroad (where I grew up). We need to get married in the town hall or pay more to hire a venue + registrar, so we chose the town hall (it's where my parents got married so I wanted it there anyway). Weekdays were cheaper than a Saturday, so we opted for a Thursday. Appr 400 pounds for the ceremony. My parents are paying for that though.

I bought my dress online for 250 pounds or so, it isn't officially a wedding dress (they do it in pink and blue as well) but it is perfect for me, and I couldn't stand the thought of having all my female relatives discussing how I looked in a dress that costs as much as I earn in a month and will only get worn once. Each to their own I will judge you though but that is so not me. I am hoping to wear my dress again with some colourful accessories. My shoes were 50 pounds from Amazon and I got a fascinator from a vintage secondhand shop for 4 quid - something old .

The 'breakfast' and reception will come in at around 2500 pounds for 30 people. This is rather generously being paid for by my fiance's dad. We decided to limit the guest list to (step)siblings, parents, grandparents and about 10 friends. My aunt was actually quite relieved she wasn't invited . A former colleague who's just got married told me she had been planning to keep it small but had ended up inviting 150 people and warned me 'that's the way it goes'. I refuse to believe that! It is hard to put your foot down but just think about who you'd want to be there. I've only ever been to two weddings myself, both of relatives who haven't made it onto our list. One understands and really doesn't mind, the other one I rarely see (and I was 10 when she got married) and doesn't know we're getting married.

We're having a little party at my parents' afterwards, I think that'll be about another 500 or so. We haven't booked a photographer yet.

My mum provided the picture for our invites, and we will be designing them ourselves and using an online print service. Haven't booked a photographer yet. Flowers will just be roses from the shop on the corner. We're being treated to a wedding night in a fancy pants hotel, which is about 250. Our mini honeymoon will be to Portugal and most likely on a shoestring.

Sorry for the long post! HTH

We did ours for £3000 ish, a Saturday in August for 50 adults and 10 kids. We did spend £1000 extra on rings though as well and our honeymoon was £500 but my mil paid for that. We booked a local hall in a village for £300 we decorated it ourselves and they just helped by changing the chairs around, playing our music and helping us clear up the next day. Registrar fees were £500 ish. We paid £400 for a local catering company to do a buffet we had way too much food- they also served it and cleared it up. We paid £100 on flowers, my dress was £110 from Debenhams and I opened a store card to get discount, my shoes asos £20 and I wore them after for work (flats), my hair was £100, I did my own make up. DH invested in a new shirt with cufflinks and new shoes, had his suit drycleaned, 3 new ties for the male wedding party - £200. My friend made us a cake as a present. I spent about £30 on iTunes and did my own music on my laptop - hired a sound system for £110 and invested in a lights thing for the dancing which was worth it and I think it was £20 extra, DH played with his band. I didn't have bridesmaids really well nothing that cost. We made our own invitations £50 and I think stamps were about £40. We also splashed out on a champagne reception in the pub opposite while they changed our hall around that cost us £180 on drinks but the room was free. Photos were £500 with us having the disk for personal use but photographer retaining copyright. We spent about £50 on various gifts for people, chair covers were £80 I think. We probably spent £100 on other extras that I've forgotten.

It was a great day relaxed and very us. We also got engaged in March and married in August as DH's gran was poorly so no faffing for example I went into the florists and explained what I needed and she suggested some flowers and I said 'sounds good to me', same with the caterers we just agreed with their suggestions when they sounded reasonable. Letting them do their thing minimised my stress levels.