to consider lending this money?

[metalmickie]

My partner and I have been together for over 2 years. We don't yet live together. He's planning to buy a house shortly.

I own my own home, am fairly comfortably off, I earn an ok amount but I am lucky to have a fair bit in savings (£33k). My partner has a much better job (although he only started it in the New Year) and some savings, about £10k, but also £8k owed on credit cards etc. To buy a house, he could use his savings, however the mortgage providers have said that they'd take his existing 'debt' into account - and in doing so it would mean he'd only be able to borrow about £40k less (and therefore couldn't afford a property big enough for him and his DC).

So, we talked about it, and if I lend him £20-25k, he will be able to use this as a deposit (having used his own savings to clear the credit cards). His current credit cards have a total limit of £45k, so he would have no problem borrowing back the money thereafter to reimburse me, as soon as the house purchase was completed. His mortgage repayments even if he borrows the maximum he can, will be £200 less than his rent now, so he has no concerns about affording it.

WWYD if you were me?

[Xmasbaby11]

If you love him so much that you want to help him this way, why don't you buy a house together? You don't have to own it equally; you could go 70:30. That way you would still have savings, and you would both have equity in a property. Oh and you would be together, which surely is your goal. I know you say location is tricky, but this is always a compromise. In 3-5 years you can always move if/when circumstances change.

If you are reluctant to live together because of complicated finances and you worry you don't want to pay more than him, ask yourself if you'll ever be happy to do this.

I don't know. You talk about him more like a friend or a sibling you feel sorry for. Do you have a future together? Why aren't you prioritising that?

[mactavish]

Buy the house with him. Your name must be on the title deeds if you are going to contribute any cash towards buying it.
Go and see a good mortgage advisor, on your own to start with, and discuss the options with them because you are probably going to need to apply for a joint mortgage together, or alternatively buy it as a Buy to Let and let it to your boyfriend for £200 less than he pays now and help him out that way!

[Kidnapped]

Gosh, my heart is breaking for him. He was FORCED to rent a house in an expensive area, he HAD to have outside space, he HAS to buy a house rather than a flat. The poor lamb. Has he thought about crowdfunding?

I have a solution for you. He moves in with you for one year only. He pays you no rent and he saves the rent he would have paid. Ta-dah. He magically has at least 15K for a deposit this time next year. Yay.

You've done him a massive favour and you haven't taken a huge financial risk.

[spad]

Okay, I was kind of on his side until 'several cars which died on him in succession and had to be expensively repaired'.

He treated himself to fancy cars because he was able to do so on credit, whilst you were living within your means and saving your hard earned cash.

Please. Please. Please.

Stay with him. But don't value his financial advice. And DO NOT LEND HIM THE MONEY.

[spad]

What Kidnapped said.

That is a really good idea.

[Spandexpants007]

Buy it in both your names. Shared ownership

[GooseberryRoolz]

Ach what a load of bollocks.

Nobody this relentlessly thick has accrued equity and savings on a modest salary.

And why the NC exactly?

[Spandexpants007]

That way you're investing money for yourself and he can get a house with joint ownership

[GooseberryRoolz]

It must be bridge night.

[Kidnapped]

You are probably right, Goose.

[lorelei9]

What spad said
Seriously, £30k on credit, paid back so slowly you reckon another £30k was interest!

This guy is a reckless spendthrift. Kiss your money goodbye if you loan it to him.

I'm curious why you're not seeing this.

[spad]

Thanks Lorelei9

And what Lorelei9 said. Also, if he can bury his head in the sand to the tune of £30 000 then what else is he ignoring?

Actually, how old are you? I bet you are young enough to go and get someone who bring as much to the party as you do!

[nilbyname]

Why don't you buy a second home as a buy to let- you are the landlord- do it through an agent so you don't actually have to deal with it.

That way he pays rent- you use that to pay of the mortgage and in 3-5 years you can see if you want to live with him- let him have some
Of the equity accrued in the house he has rented?

As I type this it feels a bit underhand, but can't think of another way for you to "help"
Him without losing £££.

[Inertia]

I find it very difficult to believe that somebody with the financial know-how to have accrued £400K in property equity and tens of thousands in savings could possibly be so spectacularly naive.

[UnderTheGreenwoodTree]

It would be a crazy idea OP. The only way I'd even consider doing it is buying a stake in the house, and having a contract drawn up by a solicitor.

Two things sound massive alarm bells for me: The borrowing on a cc to repay you, and the 'oh, if I die I'll leave you everything'. Both highly unrealistic.

He's a chancer, everything you've said about him makes me think so.

Read your posts, and read everyone else's. It's almost like you're trying to convince yourself. Blinded by love.

[dunfightin]

Never mix business and pleasure. He needs to cut his coat to suit his cloth. Never a lender or a borrower be … I'm sure there's plenty more sayings along those lines and for a reason.
Two years is the tail end of the honeymoon period and you both have children who need to come first in all calculations.
If it makes sense for you to put some money into property then do it independently of your private life and take independent advice in the cold light of day.
You can't tell what your or his financial situation will be like in a couple of years just as you can't tell what will happen when his children reach secondary age or how your relationship will pan out - I would have thought you'd both want to be very cautious as you've both had failed relationships and presumably had to deal with some level of financial fallout. If the relationship survives then reassess when he is debt free, kids are in a new stage and he's well and truly got his feet under the desk of his new job.

[metalmickie]

I'm entirely sure re the inheritance, I've seen docs about it.

I also know he had agreed with his Ex (whether formally as part of divorce or not) that he would live in a house with at least 3 beds, so the DC had their own rooms. Not sure if that's legally enforceable but I don't think he'd want to rock the boat with her or her lawyers.

It's a good point about the referendum etc, that might have a big effect on house prices and interest rates. Certainly another thing to bear in mind.

Re buying a house (again!) I suppose we could buy something with my £400k and he get a mortgage for £170k. But I'd actually feel more vulnerable investing all my money (effectively). And it's very all or nothing, if we found out we didn't like living together, and wanted to go back to how things were, it would cost me a lot more to restore the status quo. My plan was never to wait til he had £400k, more that in say 5 years I'd sell my house and put about £200k into a new property, and he'd put some cash in/get a mortgage for the rest, and I'd buy another property (either to rent out or for my DC to live in after uni)

Just to add I don't know where I'd get £800 a year on my money , I have my money in a high interest (hahaha) account with my bank, I think I get about £100 at best.

Lots for me to go away and think about, anyway.

[lionsleepstonight]

Money laundering rules mean that he will have to evidence where the 25k deposit came from. As it will just have appeared in his account overnight he will then have to show where it came from, I.e, you. You then have to write a letter to say it's a gift otherwise he will be turned down as you can't create a deposit from debt.
So, if you are still determined to go forward with this plan, buying it together and getting your deposit ringfenced is the only way forward. Bear in mind you could break up, he could stop repaying the mortgage (but still live in), suddenly decide it's no longer suitable due to location of secondary school and upsticks.
If your willing to take that risk, go for it. But go in with your eyes open and with legal advice every step of they way.

[spad]

Yeah and what Greenwood said.

Tell him you've spent the money on a nice treat for yourself. Several expensive watches that didn't quite match your new handbag......

See what happens then.

Oh sorry darling, the money's all gone. Not to worry can I move in with you?'

[gamerchick]

Never ever lend money you cant afford to lose.

If you do after this thread you deserve everything that could be coming to you.

[Spandexpants007]

No don't sell your property and buy with him. Instead buy an additional house with him. Keep your present house separate

[AliceInUnderpants]

OP How can you even see any good in a 'man' who wants to leave his assets to his new partner instead of his children???

[LineyReborn]

What a load.

[metalmickie]

I'm logging off now but just before I go wanted to add a couple of things - he never had expensive cars, they were all £1-3k when bought, but he ended up spending as much on repair, probably 10 cars over the years, I've had cheap cars myself so know what it's like and how you get caught in a trap of thinking it's just another £500 when you're in for £2k already etc.

I hadn't thought of getting a mortgage myself. I'll look into that although given I have a (small) mortgage already, and I don't earn as much as him, I'm not sure what I'd be able to borrow. But it might be a more secure alternative, if the numbers stack up.

[lorelei9]

OP
You have your savings in the wrong places
Please don't take it personally when I say this also makes me feel you dint fully understand your boyfriend's finances

Santander cash calculator here
www.santander-products.co.uk/info/current-accounts/123-current-account-cashback-and-interest-calculator

Similar terms for smaller amounts with Lloyds, Tsb

Many articles around on how to cycle the money through accounts for max interest

Hence my £800 calculation for £30k savings is quite accurate and trust me, once set up, this is easy, no hassle
You need to see money as a priority though...