To Ask How A Woman Can 'Make The Most Of Her 'Youth'?

[CranberryPrincess]

I am in my early twenties and noticed that more and more I have older female family members, bosses, people at work, most women I befriend or meet who are older always go on about 'making the most of your youth' but never say how best to make sure you are doing this :/ or give me examples...they just always simply say it.

I am unmarried with no children atm but hope to

Can anyone elaborate on things a woman can do to 'make the most of her youth' ? or how she can be sure she's doing so ? and some examples :)

thanks :-)

Yeah. Shag and travel. And understand how gorgeous you undoubtedly are so wear fab clothes

If an opportunity arises and you're not sure whether to go for it or not, always take it.

I read a thing about someone turning down a spontaneous trip on a train across Europe with a boy she'd had a whirlwind romance with. She regretted it and later on in life realised that trains across Europe with handsome men don't come along very often.

Not saying you should take yourself off on a train across France but you get the gist.

Whilst you're healthy, able and relatively responsibility free do all you can not to let it waste. Don't wait for the good days, go and get them.

Don't wait.

Actually that advice is for everyone no matter what age. You don't know what bombshells are around the corner. Make the most of everything.

And try new stuff as much as you can.

I would say travel and work there are some jobs where you get to travel for free as long as you work. i.e working on a yacht, travel blogger/journo freelance, work at a french chateau or swiss, on skiing resort, get to ski in free time (my dream)

au pair abroad free board, in free time explore the country

gap year abroad voluntary work for a worthwhile cause
or gap year internship in your chosen career path

a year foreign exchange part of uni course my friend did it.

extreme sports

id say stay well away from men, all this advice about sleeping around no ones mentioning fact you could get pregnant even with contraception then you can say goodbye to travelling? make lots of friends yes but b/f theyre a hindrance in my mind

stay away from drugs too and excessive drinking, otherwise we may see you in the news headlines Briton Bangkok Drug haul.

Having children has been the best part of my life however....
Once kids come along you are more restricted...by time by money.

So I will tell my daughter to maximise things hard to do when you become a mother
Be carefree and don't worry too much
Travel on a budget
Save money
Save more money
Don't blow cash on clothes,and meals out...that is one big con.
Save that money to give you freedom later on in life.

I did a lot of travelling and living in other countries.....it was great but I actually wish I just spent a year doing that instead of 5... and cracked on with my career at 25 rather than at 31.

Why?

Because saving money gives you incredible freedom. Now with a 350 k mortgage I don't have the same freedoms I enjoyed back then and know I have to work work work...just to pay that mortgage off in 15 years.

Find a way to live frugally...stay home if you can. Try out different jobs but ultimately choose one and crack on with it without too much navel gazing, which whilst enjoyable dies not build a pension or pay off a house.

www.the-pool.com/life/life-honestly/2015/52/what-i-m-doing-differently-in-2016-everything-i-should-have-done-already

Here you go. This was the train thing

kierk best advice very wise especially about saving and not spending on stupid frivolous things. also about travelling yes but not doing it for so many excessive years.

wish my parents had told me as much we had no advice jjust lots of "you will be nothing when you grow up", yes positive parenting clearly they loved us lol

Shag lots of fit men.

Go travelling.

Live alone and make the most of it.

Am 22

Sex
Travelling
Studying
spending time with elderly family members, in fact any relatives - mine's pretty amazing though :)
Mental elasticity & energy
No kid-induced sleep deprivation!! I am in complete awe of parents who spend long periods of time sleep deprived - I do not know how you do it (incidentally, Happy Mothers Day, threadwide! )
Sorting out your preferences, likes/dislikes, boundaries & using the confidence you get from having that knowledge to protect yourself when need be & in the future

I'm stonkingly lazy quietly content as a sedentary creature & it's not going to be some vague notion about wanting to avoid future regret that's going to change my approach...I'm having a great time and I feel very lucky. I do travel (always to the same places), meet new people (if I happen to run into them in my comfort zones) etc but I don't necessarily hunt down every opportunity. I do push myself mentally but am not wildly ambitious - I just want to live in a particular city, pay my rent without worrying each month, be able to afford a cat and to go to the cinema, go for drinks, eat good food, carry on meeting interesting people who challenge how I'm thinking. I think that's quite a lofty goal this partic city is flippin expensive and I feel sooo unemployable

I would love it if people changed how they talked about middle age and advanced age. I mean look at Anais Nin, Simone de Beauvoir, Colette, Violette Leduc, Christa Wolf, etc, they all had fab times after their alleged yoof was over! The energy and inspiration and fun they had....With Leduc in particular, it was like she was reborn in middle age, she suddenly became this fashionable adored socialite and churned out books at the speed of light after feeling discouraged and trampled on in her teens, twenties & thirties....

a year foreign exchange part of uni course omg this, definitely!
when else are you going to get the chance to study abroad, get money for it (v. generous EU grants not means tested), learn more of another language, without real life pressures? Unless you're rich only as a student, really, within the exchange frameworks already established.

Left job and awful boyfriend in provinces to travel. After exploring South America moved to London got a high powered extremely well paid but demanding job that involved travel and enabled me to meet high quality men. Kissed a few frogs then bagged dh at 28. Married at 30.

Moved out of London with my gorgeous babies and soulmate dh at 33. Touch wood the plan has worked beautifully. Felt I set myself up for a happy life during my 20s

I think the best question I was asked in my 20s was "Is anyone free in September and fancies a trip to Mongolia?" My response was "Yeah, I'm up for that!". I was between temporary contracts, had a bit of spare savings and work is hard to come by at that time of year. DH (pre-marriage) couldn't take the time off work but thought it was a great idea for me to go. I later took him there on our honeymoon.

I didn't waste my youth, but now I'm a few years into the young family stage, I miss the spontaneity of it. If I'm going out on my own, it thrills me that I can head out for the day with just a phone, purse, keys and glasses. It's refreshingly simplistic!

No sleeping around here. I met DH early so didn't kiss any frogs along the way. Reading about so many relationships on here, I appreciate that I was fortunate to meet a loving, caring, sensible man early on and not waste my time and love on people who weren't worthy of it.

Don't waste time agonising about your looks/size. I would never wear jeans as I thought my thighs were too fat. When I look at pictures of myself then I had a great figure. I am twice the size now and wear whatever I want !

I wish I had been more promiscuous in my younger day, (I settled down as a teenager)
I also wish I had travelled a lot more

Get educated. Work like a dog to get financial freedom so you don't have to rely on anyone.
Then you can travel and do whatever you want.

For me, I always wish I could go back and tell my 20 something year old self to:

Love yourself more
Care less what others think and worry more about what will make you happy
Stand up for yourself and learn to say NO!
Take care of your mental health and judge yourself less
Challenge yourself more, if it's something you're scared to do (that isn't going to kill you), do it.
Own your decision's and regret nothing you learned from
Enjoy every moment you can

Basically I wish I had the confidence and acceptance of myself I have now in my 30's in my 20's because it would have meant a lot less heartbreak. Of course, without that heartbreak I doubt I'd be who I am today!

Set yourself up with career and a dh. There is an excellent ted talk about how key your twenties are, drifting along for years thinking you have lots of time a bad idea.

I need a DH? shit man, I don't want one! what to do, what to do

I have been with my dh since I was 16. We had our first dc at 21. We are 32 now and have 6dc we also started a business in our 20s which we still have.

I suppose looking from the outside our twenties were boring , married, kids, work. BUT now we are done having kids, we have a (not massive but enough!) income and tbh we seem to be getting more freedom etc each month!.

Now I am applying to train as a nurse something I have always wanted to do but would have struggled with earlier.Theres no worry about a break for children, I can afford to spend time training with no major worries.

It's not travelling or having random sex - but I would hate that anyway! I still don't feel in"wasted" my youth, I feel like I used it to set myself up for the rest of my life which seems to be the point to me!

Take opportunities.

It doesn't matter what those opportunities are as long as they're things you want to do.

I never particularly wanted to travel but obviously other people did. What do you want to do?

I used my youth to study/get up the career ladder and don't regret it at all. I also had lots of fun - partying until the sun came up, trying out various sports/hobbies, dating etc

I think the thing I regret about my youth is not being more confident, but that was only gained with age and experience for me!

Personally knew I wanted to get married to a decent man. Seemed easier to meet one early (but not too early). So at 26 went to where there was a deep pool of clever interesting men and married one. Has turned out excellently so far. Not for everyone but was my plan! Parents have really happy marriage and I wanted that too.

I think I made the most of "my youth". I got educated, was able to work for low/no money to get into the career I wanted and was also able to work stupid hours to progress. Said job involved massses of travel and was completely not family friendly. But it suited me then and I got to see the world/have crazy adventures. I also went out a lot, clubs, bars, theatre, gigs, festivals, art etc...I had met my dh at uni so felt settled on that front. But I do think cultivating the self esteem to say no to twatty men/relationships is important (and I include unhelpful family in this). I also travelled/ lived abroad with my dp which I couldn't do now.

I had loads of "fun" in my youth but if I could do it again I would sleep with less men, save more money, and focus on building a career.

I wasted my whole twenties drinking.

I think it balances out, up to a point. If you spend your twenties being career sensible then that gives you the financial freedom for some craziness as soon as children are old enough to tolerate it, or let you have mini adventures without them.
Or if you have children early then you can do the crazy stuff in your 40s.

Travel, go out a lot, to clubs, restaurants, classes. Shop, go on day trips, say yes, shag hot men (and women), be selfish. Do things that are harder to do once you own a house/ have a career/ have a partner you need to take in consideration/ have kids.