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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be fed up of people being PROUD of themselves?

103 replies

amidonefor · 05/03/2016 10:03

Every TV show seems to have people banging on about how proud they are of what they've done.

It seems so big-headed - so immodest and boastful.

Perhaps this is more about poor usage of language

The BBC has an ad campaign for itself running on the theme of Run yourself proud, ride yourself proud, punch yourself proud, row yourself proud, wank youself proud....

that kind of thing - I'm living in the past I guess, where pride was a sin and modesty was a virtue

Pride comes before a fall

Fall yourself proud

bah

OP posts:
80schild · 05/03/2016 11:19

acasualobserver - I have noticed this too. There is an awful lot of entitled / rudeness that I have observed with DS' classmates. I think children get told far to frequently how amazing they are without any real basis for it.

OfficeGirl1969 · 05/03/2016 11:21

Sorry, I disagree OP.

I've been abused, bereaved and have been through a terrifying breakdown. I'm still alive. I have survived. And I've not survivedv because of anything anyone else has done for me, or because another person has magically 'fixed things' I've survived it all because I took a deep breath, kicked myself up the backside and got on with living. I was strong when I didn't want to be. I got up and went to work when I wanted to cry and curl up in bed. I lived when I wanted to die. And I'm proud of myself. I don't broadcast it to everyone I know, and it isn't said in a "look how wonderful I am" way.

Sometimes I'm proud of myself for the little things, like smiling when I don't want to, or running 5k when I want to eat chocolate and drink wine. And sometimes I'm proud of myself for the big stuff, like not giving up, and still being here.

I really am bloody proud of myself, and I hope that anyone else who's had a rough deal and come through the other side is proud of themselves as well.

milkbottle · 05/03/2016 11:26

This whole thread is quite sad Sad There's nothing wrong with being proud of yourself. As long as you don't treat others like they are below you, then you have every right to love yourself! And you should! You are great!

Looobyloo · 05/03/2016 11:28

You want to meet my step nephew, he used to tell me how big his IQ was every bloody time I saw him, his whole family are extremely proud of themselves even though, to my knowledge, non of them have done anything to be proud of. This is the reason I NEVER brag about all my marathons ;)
I hate boastful people!

iloveeverykindofcat · 05/03/2016 11:30

I'm fed up of the love-your-body stuff. That's weird and narcissistic to be. I don't love my body. I feel pretty neutral about it tbh.

iloveeverykindofcat · 05/03/2016 11:31

*to be = to me.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/03/2016 11:32

It's one thing to take some pride in your achievements, but another to broadcast it to all and sundry.
It's self absorbed and self important.

LaundryFairy · 05/03/2016 11:35

I agree with you WitchWay about the being "Blessed" thing. Usually used to allow a stealth boast whilst pretending to be just the fortunate recipient of some sort of beneficence. Has lost its religious meaning for many.

RhodaBull · 05/03/2016 11:38

You are great! Eh? This is exactly what people are criticising. This "you are great" business. No, most of us here are pretty average joannas (or joes) just bumbling along, occasionally achieving something, probably not supermodels, hopefully loved by their families. But great? Great should be great , surely.

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 05/03/2016 11:41

It's one thing to take some pride in your achievements, but another to broadcast it to all and sundry.

THIS

funnily enough OP I was wondering the other day why you never hear 'oh WHAT a bighead' any more

when I was a kid, anyone (child or adult) giving themselves a pat on the back for anything (saving a dog from a weir, jumping two storeys out of a burning building onto a shed roof) was instantly shot down with a 'oh WHAT a bighead'

then I came to the conclusion that noone is a bighead anymore because we're all bigheads

I blame facebook

they need to have a bighead emoji. That'd stop it

anotherbusymum14 · 05/03/2016 11:42

I think it's great that people can celebrate what they've done and feel proud about it. Seriously, the opposite of this is to be miserable and depressed about what we are not doing as individuals, and a society.
If I had to choose I would definitely choose living with celebration and feeling good about mine and others achievements but it's just my opinion. You're entitled to yours Smile

Whatthefoxgoingon · 05/03/2016 11:43

I'm pretty ordinary. I've nothing to be particularly proud of.

soimpressed · 05/03/2016 11:45

I think the issue is more to do with using social media than anything else. I sometimes feel proud of myself for doing things that others would consider nothing special but I would never say out loud that I felt proud and I certainly wouldn't post it on social media.

Original poster
amidonefor · 05/03/2016 11:46

When I worked in a chip shop I was always pleased if someone came up and said - lovely chips, yours.

Ta very much I'd say. Glad you liked them.

But it didn't make me proud of myself - and not because I'm ashamed of making chips for a living.

But because I make chips for a living.
If I couldn't make chips somebody liked, I shouldn't be doing it.

Doing what you do is not in itself a justification for pride.

I'm not proud of myself for doing it - it's just what I do.
I'm glad you enjoyed your chips - that's what I do.

It's like when a football captain or manager says he's really proud of how they've done - Why?
You're a team of footballers, you know how to play the game and you've gone out to try and win and you've won.
You haven't overcome insurmountable odds - you've done what you bloody well wanted to do.

Be happy - not proud.

OP posts:
MadeMan · 05/03/2016 11:46

I feel 'blessed' when I bump fists with the rastas at the veg stall down the market; yes boss!

Movingonmymind · 05/03/2016 11:48

Agree, a little humility goes a long way. And used to be seen as a virtue not a hindrance. On the other hand, a reasonable level of warranted, balanced self-esteem is healthy. Pride should be for significant achievements/qualities.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/03/2016 11:49

A big head emoji would be great Grin Nobody likes a show off.

Original poster
amidonefor · 05/03/2016 11:50

@MuddhaofSuburbia
*funnily enough OP I was wondering the other day why you never hear 'oh WHAT a bighead' any more

when I was a kid, anyone (child or adult) giving themselves a pat on the back for anything (saving a dog from a weir, jumping two storeys out of a burning building onto a shed roof) was instantly shot down with a 'oh WHAT a bighead'*

That's soooo true!

We had the same childhoods!

And okay - maybe a bit of ego-building wouldn't have gone amiss but bugger me, if anyone I'd known had said they were proud of themselves - the first response would have been -

We'll tell you when you've done something to be proud of, until then, keep a lid on it.

OP posts:
sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 05/03/2016 11:51

Personally I blame Heather Small

GigiB · 05/03/2016 11:52

It is a bit annoying.

There's no balance though

I find negativity way more annoying.. the tv and news are full of disaster, incompetence and corruption.. rather than celebrating any success stories/acts of kindness etc. I'd prefer to have a nation that is proud (and a bit up its own ass) rather than full off doom and self flagellation.

CamboricumMinor · 05/03/2016 11:52

I'm all for people being proud of themselves but only when they have done something to be proud of. A friend posted on FB on 1st March (school offer day) how proud she was of her son for getting a place at high school. Proud of what? That his parents took him to the open evening and filled a form in properly?!

I'm not proud of anything that I've done. I suppose I could be proud of having the worst self esteem. Got a 1st at uni, no, I didn't go to graduation and haven't done anything with my degree. Got to the final of a national art competition? No, not proud of that either. I'm officially unproud.

revealall · 05/03/2016 11:55

I think feeling pleased with yourself or something you've done is fine. Happy that you've done well or achieved a goal.

Feeling proud is something else. I think other people should be the judge of whether you've done something to be proud of, not yourself

It is grating hearing everyone justifying being proud with " I have low self esteem". Who are you judging yourself against?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 05/03/2016 11:56

That bloody Heather Small song is stuck in my head now.

MadeMan · 05/03/2016 12:05

Yes, it's a terrible song.

BipBippadotta · 05/03/2016 12:06

For those saying they feel proud of themselves for overcoming terrible circumstances - I don't think the kind of pride the OP finds irritating. It's the constant crowing and fishing for praise and sense of entitlement.

As an aside, personally I can't bear the way people use the word 'negative' to denote anything that makes them uncomfortable. Preferring to feel warm & fuzzy inside often involves ignoring / denying a vast part of human experience. I'd rather have a nation that acknowledges problems and tries to solve them than that spends its time celebrating small acts of kindness because, I dunno, the refugee crisis is a bit of a downer really.