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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have reduced my offer?

166 replies

Ididthattoo · 04/03/2016 12:08

My husband and I have been looking for a house for a very long time. We found one nice house and we made an offer on it (which was accepted).

However, we found out that there is a small electricity substation behind the garden fence and there might be knotweed too. The area behind the garden is a green footpath that leads to a small park.

We had the emf emissions measured from the substation and they are normal. However, the surveyor said that it might affects saleability.

I am very anxious and haven't slept because of these issues. My husband says there are risks everywhere and we should just go ahead.

So, I have decided to offer about 7% less than what we originally offered in order to take into account of the increased risk. I would have just pulled out but the house is really nice and we are tired of looking.

What is your opinion on this? Am I being unreasonable? Am I mad in seeing risks everywhere or do you think there is a real problem?

I would really appreciate your views, I don't know what to think any more.

Thanks.

OP posts:

JessieMcJessie · 05/03/2016 08:55

This may sound a bit silly but so you ever watch Kirstie and Phil on Location Location Location together? DH and I were able to work through a fair few conflicting house buying ideas by watching them help couples make compromises.

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 05/03/2016 08:56

Honestly the knotweed would make me run away from a property.

You need to do what is in your best interest and you don't sound like you would happy in this place.

HortonWho · 05/03/2016 08:57

Family houses in my area get sold within weeks. The house down the road took 9 months. It is next to a substation.

Its initial price was lower than others around despite having a much larger garden and being decorated to a very nice standard (from pictures).

It is a huge deal breaker for many people, not just you.

AKissACuddleAndACheekyFinger · 05/03/2016 09:08

Be sensible. Get a full survey-you can tell the surveyor your knotweed concerns-the survey will confirm (or otherwise) the knotweed. If it's there, I doubt the bank will lend you the money. Problem solved.

However, unless this is a house being bought in your husband's name and not yours, you realise that you both have to sign for a mortgage?! If you don't want it, it's too big a decision-your biggest ever purchase-to capitulate to your husband (who sounds like a bit of a bully, sorry)

Original poster

Ididthattoo · 05/03/2016 09:09

Horton are you in London too?

As I said I will cave in on this one. I feel that after if things go wrong, he will have learnt a lesson because I will force him to sell at a loss. Whatever loss that is I don't care. I am one of those people that would go to any length (including losing lots of money) to prove a point. I guess after that, we will rent forever in the least expensive area we can find.

OP posts:

Original poster

Ididthattoo · 05/03/2016 09:14

Will make sure that the surveyor knows about both issues. I am praying that he comes out and says no mortgage. Fingers crossed.

In this instance, I am really upset with my husband although maybe it is just me being commitment phobic about houses and wanting to find a way out. I don't know.

OP posts:

EweAreHere · 05/03/2016 09:15

If it's knotweed, you do not want to buy this house.

KitKat1985 · 05/03/2016 09:16

I am one of those people that would go to any length (including losing lots of money) to prove a point.

This is madness. It's easy to have a 'sod him, let him learn the hard way' attitude now, but in 10 years time where you are both struggling with massive financial issues and an un-sellable house you are going to regret this massively. Could you at least say to him you want a detailed survey done, and if the survey throws up Japanese Knotweed he will probably be advised to stay away (or his mortgage will be declined)? At least then he will be hearing the message from an official source so it won't just be from you.

Thelwell · 05/03/2016 09:24

I am one of those people that would go to any length (including losing lots of money) to prove a point

ManneryTowers · 05/03/2016 09:27

Sorry OP but it sounds like there are much bigger issues here than disagreeing over a house. You are acting like a martyr who is prepared to lose masses of money to 'prove' your husband wrong? Is everything always this dramatic in your life?
Stop dramatising, be practical and get a proper survey done of the house. Even the basic mortgage valuation will pick up the knotweed anyway. Your solicitor will also have a legal obligation to report it to the lender. It is actually out of your hands anyway. The lender will find out and probably not lend, so this whole discussion may be a moot point anyway. Good luck with it

Duckdeamon · 05/03/2016 09:28

WhatsGoingOnEh · 05/03/2016 09:32

Imagine how bitter and resentful you'll be in 10 years' time if you're stuck in an un-sellable house. I don't think saying "I told you so!" will give you the happiness you're expecting.

It's actually quite strange of you to relish that future scenario... Just educate him about knotweed! He doesn't know it's a big deal - show him information that explains why it is!

Don't coldly plot out your financial ruin, because you're someone who will "go to any lengths to prove a point". Shudder. You lose too, you get that - right?

JessieMcJessie · 05/03/2016 09:36

Do you have children? Are you really happy to jeapordise their financial security to make a point?

If you don't have children, I am wondering if perhaps you might think about reevaluating your marriage before you get in any deeper?

notapizzaeater · 05/03/2016 10:01

Bugger the house - I think you both need relationship counselling, it's not a healthy relationship.

LIZS · 05/03/2016 10:09

Why on earth would you use this as an opportunity to teach your h a lesson? Seems a very passive aggressive tactic and recipe for resentment and misery. Agree this isn't really about the house.

Wolpertinger · 05/03/2016 10:13

You would make him lose a large amount of money to prove a point?

Um, that would be family money that you have both lost, not just him
Have a think about how you solve problems in your relationship - watching Phil and Kirsty is a good idea as most of what they do is talk couples through how they can't have everything in a house and help them reach compromises.
It sounds like this is hard for you to do without getting highly anxious and having extreme all or nothing thoughts.

MrsSteptoe · 05/03/2016 10:21

I don't think saying "I told you so!" will give you the happiness you're expecting.

^^ This.

everdene · 05/03/2016 10:28

I'll tell you my experience of knotweed and why I would be saying no to this house OP.

DH and I put in an offer on a house with knotweed in the garden last summer. We educated ourselves (the owners had a v thorough treatment plan in place) and were happy.

However, EVERYTHING took so long - Natwest eventually said they'd accept a house with knotweed and give us an agreement in principle, but first we had to show them the treatment certification, then we'd have to send it off to their underwriters, then we'd have to show we had found a home insurance company in place who'd take on the issue before we'd even had the offer accepted... In the end we were outbid and looking back I'm grateful. The house still hasn't completed (I've checked on Rightmove). Honestly, we were ok with the knotweed but everything was so complicated. Plus, as you know even if it's cleared, it can affect your resale price drastically even if it's years later and you have it cleared.

If the council leave even a fingernail sized root, the knotweed can regrow and you'll have another three years of treatment. We honestly would have gone with the house but everything around it makes it not worth the effort. We're in Zone 4 by the way. SW and W London is riddled in places with knotweed - Isleworth, Syon Park etc has lots of knotweed.

Original poster

Ididthattoo · 05/03/2016 10:58

Well we got some 10k off the price previously agreed.

We will go ahead with the survey etc and see what happens.

Will keep you all updated

OP posts:

Greyponcho · 05/03/2016 11:45

Ok, so maybe youve got form on going to excessive lengths just to prove a point, but I think in this instance your concerns are NOT unfounded!!
Knotweed is not just a 'hype', it should be given the same seriousness as subsidence or flooding.
Don't rely on some survey picking it up - it dies back in winter and there might be shit all to see at the moment, if any - you might end up with a false negative. Even if it can be seen, that'll likely be last years growth, new growth will pop up later on from the rhizome (root) network.
Get your husband to pace out 7m - that's how far the root system extends laterally. Pace out 3m - that's how deep they go.
Andy a another poster correctly pointed out, it only takes a tiny fragment of rhizome (root) to regenerate a whole new plant. Even a segment of stem can regenerate new plants.

However, it can be managed if done properly, but will take time and cost.

(Not wishing to be all "if's, buts, maybes", has there been much fly tipping on that public land... There is always the potential for future fly tipped materials to spread undesired materials alongside your boundary, inc. knotweed)

I'm not saying don't go ahead, I'm saying if you do, go in with your eyes wide open with proper knowledge of what you're letting yourselves in for: a house is a huge investment of money, time, effort and also an emotional investment.. sounds like your OH is desperate just to move, even if it's not what you both want.

Took us a year to get the right house for us, same for my sister. You've just got to be patient or could end up settling for second best.

Original poster

Ididthattoo · 05/03/2016 11:53

We have been looking on and off for more than one year and this house (the house in isolation) ticks lots of boxes. If I did not have my husband, I would not have moved there in 100 years (I do have children from my husband).

But I can't be selfish. I would be totally happy renting forever, leaving the landlord to deal with stuff and not having any stress. This is unfortunately not an option for my husband.

So if I haven't found anything in over one year what tells me that I will find something in the next year?

Sometimes you need to take a risk, I am completely risk averse, that is why I would be happy renting.

But my husband and children also have the right to be happy (according to my dh, they are not happy where we are renting, quite an old place with some issues as well but who cares as it is not my property to worry about).

OP posts:

Yakari · 05/03/2016 12:00

I started reading this thinking you DH was totally the unreasonable one but now I'm almost on his side!

Really! Really! How do you not see this as so much of a bigger issue than the house

stayathomegardener · 05/03/2016 12:16

DH is licenced to remove and transport Knotweed.
Does quite alot of work for the Local Authority.

I'm telling you, don't buy that house. Or if you do, give us a call, it's very lucrative.

Justaboy · 05/03/2016 14:14

Greyponcho Degree level and higher and DC to Daylight for some 40 years:)

There's some amazing pictures of people who have high voltage pylons in their gardens with HT wiring just over their houses the noise on a wet high humidity summer night must be interesting! There's one near Rochester way in south London where some houses are bungalows instead of two storey as the line goes right above their houses!

Duckdeamon · 05/03/2016 14:39

Does it tick the box for school catchments (secondary as well as primary, eg if you can't sell in future due to knotweed)?

Unless DC are coming up to school next year, why (apart from your DH's wishes) the rush to buy? A year isn't all that long when house hunting, especially when moving areas. It might make more sense to rent for 6 months in the new area to see if you like it.

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