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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Cafe table hogging...

100 replies

TrueBlu · 04/03/2016 11:10

Not sure if I'm bu or not.

So was out with my 3 young DC during half term. Took them into Cafe Nero for lunch and the whole place was full of people sitting there with nothing at the table waiting for their other half to bring the coffees.

I have done this before with DC as don't want them getting in everyone's way in the queue but these were pairs of adults on tables of 4.

There was one man with an empty coffee cup on a table for four slowly reading his way through the papers while we stood there with a tray of food waiting for a seat.

Now perhaps I am bu but I find it so inconsiderate! If I can see elderly people, or people with DC/pregnant I will make sure I don't make them wait any longer than it takes me to eat/drink and go. Especially at busy times!!!

OP posts:

Foginthehills · 05/03/2016 09:52

I don't even ask, I just plonk my stuff down

That is just plain rude.

They usually leave pretty soon after
You sound quite nasty. And rude. No wonder they leave.

emilybrontescorset · 05/03/2016 11:11

Actually cafe Nero is targetted at men.
Costa is targeted at women and Starbucks target market is the younger generation.🍰

Foginthehills · 05/03/2016 11:14

Really? That's interesting. I prefer Caffe Nero because the coffee is better.

emilybrontescorset · 05/03/2016 21:31

I fit the target market because I do prefer Costa 😀

LurkingHusband · 07/03/2016 09:27

Ziferblat.

Thanks to the few posters who mentioned this.

(Starts drifting OT, after checking this is AIBU) ...

Something gave inside me though, when I looked at their website. . Their avoidance of locating a Ziferblat anywhere near the West Midlands (which has a bigger population that Manchester and Liverpool combined) speaks volumes of how desolate this region can feel . Having loved here for 20 years, I can well imagine that Birmingham City Council refused Ziferblat planning over a lapdancing club.

Would love to pop to Manchester and/or Liverpool to check them out. But the lack of clear accessibility information on that funky website speaks volumes about the sort of hipster they want to attract, and it ain't one in a wheelchair.

merseyside · 07/03/2016 09:53

I'm having one of those MN moments of realisation, when something you do often without thinking suddenly becomes someone else's height of selfishness and unreasonableness.

If I had to kill and hour I would happily sit in Costa with one coffee and a book. I'd be a pig in muck, it wouldn't occur to me that there might be people waiting.

If you arrive and there are no spare tables - unlucky! Go somewhere else.

ThisCakeFilledIsle · 07/03/2016 10:01

Would you do this on a busy Saturday lunchtime though?

I would only spend more time reading if it's a quieter time of day.

merseyside · 07/03/2016 10:07

Yes, I would do it at any time.

It's capitalism. I paid for my coffee, I get to sit in the cafe and there are no rules beyond that. If I went in to a cafe and there were no free spaces guess what? I'd go somewhere else!

The idea that there is a sliding scale of deserving coffee house frequenters with the single adult at the bottom is the stupidest thing I've heard so far this week.

NickyEds · 07/03/2016 10:08

I don't mind people in front of me in the queue sending their companion to reserve a table it's when people behind me do it that it pisses me off. So many times I've gone into a cafe with say 5 free tables and 3 people in front of me in the queue, so I can be sure I'll get a table. So I queue up, get some food, pay and go to find a table and the cheeky bastards behind me have taken them all and I'm left there with a baby, a toddler and a tray of food. Total wind up. Surely no one thinks that's okay?

merseyside · 07/03/2016 10:10

The solution is for everyone to grab a table before buying their coffee.

Easy peasy

OddBoots · 07/03/2016 10:11

I think we have lost the culture of going to libraries for this, maybe because we want to eat and drink as we read or maybe as they close. I was only saying to my dh the other week how happy I am that the place we are going on holiday this year is over the road from a library - spending a couple of hours (days?!) in there just reading with the occasional people watching is my idea of bliss.

I spent most of a day in a library in Cambridge a year or so ago, it was small but had a lovely garden in which I could eat my packed lunch (the fact I was in there because I had a panic attack on my way to an Open Uni tutorial and couldn't face going may have been part of why I found it a relief).

NickyEds · 07/03/2016 10:16

I would merseyside but I wouldn't want to leave a 2 year old and a 7 month old out of sight or on their own for too long. I suppose I could dump my coat on a table but then I would become one of those people!

merseyside · 07/03/2016 11:22

I send three year old DD to find somewhere but to be fair she's pretty sensible. Out of sight would be more of an issue, I agree.

Foginthehills · 07/03/2016 18:57

The idea that there is a sliding scale of deserving coffee house frequenters with the single adult at the bottom is the stupidest thing I've heard so far this week

I agree. It's the kind of thinking which makes for the entitled yummy mummy stereotype.

NickyEds · 07/03/2016 19:46

I think the only entitlement should be being there first, hence why it's so irritating when someone who comes in after me takes a table before me!

OddBoots · 07/03/2016 20:29

NickyEds, agreed. If you have paid you get priority and people at tables who haven't yet bought or had bought for them their food and/or drink should move if someone who has paid doesn't have a table. It's one thing for part of a group to keep out of the way while one person pays, another to 'bag' a table while doing it.

merseyside · 07/03/2016 20:31

Disagree. If everyone bagged a table there'd be no issue.

If you can't beat em, join em

OddBoots · 07/03/2016 20:35

I do join them... with my food, at the table they are trying to take, once I have paid. They can stay or move, it makes no odds to me.

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces · 07/03/2016 20:46

OP
The man reading his paper was concentrating on that, not looking round for table sharers.

Did you ask him to share? Or were there two spare seats at each of two nearby tables of four you could've used?

Sirzy · 07/03/2016 20:59

Where are they supposed to "keep out of the way" if not sat at a table?

BarefootAcrossHotLegoPieces · 07/03/2016 21:28

Our local cafe has 2 person, 4 person and 6 person tables. Sometimes I go in alone if DH had the kids. I will go for a 2 person table if available but if not, I will take what there is.

Happy to share but would wait to be asked!

LightDrizzle · 08/03/2016 00:30

I love Cafe Nero, I like Costa too and there are more of them about so I sometimes go there. Apart from the superior coffee and apricot croissants, a distinct advantage of my local Nero is that it isn't very pushchair friendly. I wouldn't go so far as to say children shouldn't be taken to coffee shops, but the horror of dropping into Costa having forgotten it was half term is still very real. It racket hit me as soon as I walked in. It was like the Leisure Pool at South Shields circa 1977 when they put the wave machine on at the half hour.

ceeveebee · 08/03/2016 00:39

To the poster suggesting children are "unexpected" in coffee shops, you obviously have never been to south west London. Every Starbucks/Costa/caffe Nero I have ever been in is full of mums/dads with kids - can't move for prams!

oldlaundbooth · 08/03/2016 01:06

Might have been me ceeveebee.

But I do live across the pond and as a general rule you don't see many kids in coffee shops.

merrymouse · 08/03/2016 06:40

Coffee shop chains are only really quiet when they don't have many customers.

Even then the customers are often parents of young children because they are around during the day.

The government withdrew child benefit saying that mothers were just spending it in cappuccinos. The stereotype of nct groups filling cafes with prams might be negative and offensive, but it does reflect the fact that in the UK people do expect to find children in coffee shops.

there might be more exclusive establishments selling cold pressed coffee and buttered coffee or whatever. However if you walk into a high street establishment owned by whitbread, they are very happy to serve anyone spending money.

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