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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cafe table hogging...

100 replies

TrueBlu · 04/03/2016 11:10

Not sure if I'm bu or not.

So was out with my 3 young DC during half term. Took them into Cafe Nero for lunch and the whole place was full of people sitting there with nothing at the table waiting for their other half to bring the coffees.

I have done this before with DC as don't want them getting in everyone's way in the queue but these were pairs of adults on tables of 4.

There was one man with an empty coffee cup on a table for four slowly reading his way through the papers while we stood there with a tray of food waiting for a seat.

Now perhaps I am bu but I find it so inconsiderate! If I can see elderly people, or people with DC/pregnant I will make sure I don't make them wait any longer than it takes me to eat/drink and go. Especially at busy times!!!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 04/03/2016 20:17

I'd have just sat down at one of the tables. They belong to Cafe Nero, not to whoever is sitting at one. People in Europe just come over and sit, no asking. It's a seat with no one in it.

MissBattleaxe · 04/03/2016 21:30

expat is right.

He is not hogging a table. He is using one of the chairs. You can sit at that table too.

Foginthehills · 04/03/2016 21:37

And once again an OP focuses angst on a person sitting alone. As if someone on their own has fewer rights to a seat in a café than someone else just because they have children with them.

YABU

kippersyllabub · 04/03/2016 21:39

I'm confused about the point one poster made that coffee shops aren't suitable for children...

So where are we meant to go when the kids and I want a coffee? Confused Liquid tarmac from McDonalds or instant from a machine? No thanks

Foginthehills · 04/03/2016 22:41

And on reflection, OP your thread title is quite rude: a man having a cup of coffee in a coffee shop is "hogging" a table?

YABU

GingerMerkin · 04/03/2016 22:54

Round where I live packs of mummies take over the local Caffe Nero and sit with one coffee between them and glasses of (free) water. They sit there for hours and God forbid a student or improvised writer should wish to sit there and work.

Cafes are for everyone and you take potluck on tables.

Fluffyears · 04/03/2016 23:16

So of 4 of us go to a cafe are we all meant to stand in the queue? That's daft it's one queues and the rest go get a table otherwise you head elsewhere.

MissBattleaxe · 05/03/2016 00:26

Agree Fluff.

shinynewusername · 05/03/2016 00:34

the problem is if you are on your own, as I often am. How am I supposed to bag myself a table?

Honestly, this is an issue that only exists on MN. If i go into a cafe and there no table, i leave and go to another one. It's not as if they are a rare commodity - every other building in most town centres is now a Starbucks.

candykane25 · 05/03/2016 00:35

What else is the man supposed to do?
I would just sit at his table with him.
What bugs me more is Drs waiting rooms when people don't budge up so you can sit with the person you are with.
But I wouldn't ask anyone to move if they didn't.

SecretWitch · 05/03/2016 00:41

This is why I buy my coffee and go sit in my car. I really don't like most people and would very much dislike sharing a table with strangers.

candykane25 · 05/03/2016 00:49

I don't think anyone likes sitting with strangers. We'd rather not. But it's just a coffee in a coffee shop, it's not that bad. They'll probably drink up and go. And so on.

TendonQueen · 05/03/2016 00:57

This infuriates me too. 'Hogging' isn't = single person at table. It's a single person who sets up shop with their laptop, pile we papers and rucksack taking up a whole large table and who, having bought the cheapest cup of coffee available at 9am, is still there with that same empty cup at 11am. It's men who do this about 75% of the time in my experience.

I've also found that it happens in trendy independent coffee places even more often than the chains. This can be even worse as they often tend to have long communal school dining style tables, which means it only takes two or three people doing this before a block of eight seats is effectively commandeered by poor spacing, piles of coats etc. I've made people move up before so me and two friends could sit together, but it's annoying when people see you hovering and just glue their eyes to their laptop, instead of offering to shuffle along and make seats available.

oldlaundbooth · 05/03/2016 01:01

God not this bloody argument again.

Yes, Costa and Starbucks are for chilling in. No, the man wasn't obliged to move, just as OP could have gone elsewhere as there weren't tables.

I have to admit that when I go to Starfucks etc I expect a certain vibe, meaning quiet and chilled, so with kids bouncing about, not so much. If me and DS are out for lunch I'd either have a picnic, weather permitting, or go in somewhere casual, food court or a pizza Hut.

kali110 · 05/03/2016 01:04

So if you're with your kids that's ok, but other people can't? Hmm
I have hidden disabilities, i don't queue.
I sit at the table because if we're in a cafe,pub, restaurant it's because i need to sit down. I wouldn't share my table either (unless i was at a big table and there was room for everyone including the people i came with).

MartinaJ what is wrong with a pub? I don't drink for health reasons either, yet still go to the pub! I have coffees, coke or alcoholic free cocktails. perfectly fine to take the kids. I meet my friends with kids few times a month in our local.
I went to the british legion every week in the schoolholidays with my dad and grandfather. We would take my colouring books, book and gameboy, and chat to their old friends Smile

AndNowItsSeven · 05/03/2016 01:07

Lurking in Liverpool there is a coffee shop where you pay 8p a minute. All food , cakes, pretzels toast etc and drinks coffee, tea, hot chocolate , water etc and wifi is free.

AndNowItsSeven · 05/03/2016 01:08

Ziferblat.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 05/03/2016 01:45

I get annoyed at seeing bunches of kids in coffee shops. I just don't think it's the same as taking your children to family friendly place, coffee shops are always cramped with tables that seat 2 and 4 max.

What an odd view. My kids love a coffee shop particularly in the winter when they have a hot chocolate. Personally, I find it expensive but we go as an occasional treat and i've never even considered it unsuitable for children. Places like costa coffee now do babycino's with marshmallows etc so clearly they must have quite a number of children frequenting their establishments.

Callaird · 05/03/2016 06:54

If there is one person at a table for four then sit with them! It's a coffee shop, they don't own the table, it's a table for customers, they are a customer as are you. I don't even ask, I just plonk my stuff down, if I get a funny look, I just say that there is nowhere else to sit and I can't eat and drink standing up.

They usually leave pretty soon after.

merrymouse · 05/03/2016 07:15

I'm a

merrymouse · 05/03/2016 07:23

Aargh!

I'm a bit bemused at the idea that Starbucks and Costa have ever been places for adults to quietly 'chill'. They have always been full of children and babies (who else buys the seasonal gingerbread biscuits?) and people in a hurry grabbing a coffee or sandwich.

It's not clear that this man was hogging anything more than a chair. However, if he were preventing people from using the other seats, that would be annoying for any larger group, whatever their ages.

FelicityFunknickle · 05/03/2016 07:27

I think it makes sense to grab a table.
But it is v frustrating to not be able to sit when u have your drinks/ food.
If its looking crowded when you go in then go somewhere else. Avoid the stress.

TheMaddHugger · 05/03/2016 08:16

I tend to just go sit at anyones table... if there is only one person at it.

being Disabled I cant stand for long periods of time. so I give my Adult Daughter money and she orders and I grab a seat. AKA somewhere I can sit on my Walker out of the way and enough room also for Grandson's Smallish Pusher.

If I am 'Table Hogging' I tend to buy something expensive enough so I don't feel guilty and hot or cold drinks every half hr

I am in Australia by the way, Incase that makes a difference

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 05/03/2016 08:20

If with group grab table while one person orders. If alone it's much easier to find a single seat to share a table.

emilybrontescorset · 05/03/2016 08:22

I often go alone to a coffee shop.

I also sit at a table with comfy chairs.

I take my iPad and read it whilst enjoying my coffe/cake/ meal.

I don't immediately leave.

Go and ask the man if you may sit at the table with him, he can't really refuse can he?

Also where do you expect single people to sit?

Would you not find it odd if there were empty tables and a single diner asked if they could squash up and join you at your table?

I personally think coffee shops are primarily for adults and quite often adults like myself enjoying a quiet cuppa whilst their own dc are pre occupied elsewhere.