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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cafe table hogging...

100 replies

TrueBlu · 04/03/2016 11:10

Not sure if I'm bu or not.

So was out with my 3 young DC during half term. Took them into Cafe Nero for lunch and the whole place was full of people sitting there with nothing at the table waiting for their other half to bring the coffees.

I have done this before with DC as don't want them getting in everyone's way in the queue but these were pairs of adults on tables of 4.

There was one man with an empty coffee cup on a table for four slowly reading his way through the papers while we stood there with a tray of food waiting for a seat.

Now perhaps I am bu but I find it so inconsiderate! If I can see elderly people, or people with DC/pregnant I will make sure I don't make them wait any longer than it takes me to eat/drink and go. Especially at busy times!!!

OP posts:
TrillKitten · 04/03/2016 12:17

I am confused at how the terms "sitting at" and "hogging" are being used here...

How do I sit alone at a table in a coffee shop so as not to be considered hogging it? Or are solo coffee drinkers just not allowed? ;)

Judydreamsofhorses · 04/03/2016 12:17

I don't really get this thread. Surely two adults or a person on their own is just as entitled to sit in a coffee shop as a family? Most tables are set up for four people. I'm totally happy to share a table, but I'm not going to gulp down my drink and stuff down my sandwich because someone's waiting. If I went in to Cafe Nero and saw it was very busy, potentially too busy to get a table, I'd go to a different coffee shop.

LurkingHusband · 04/03/2016 12:20

as a business owner this would annoy me too, especially at lunchtimes if I served hot food. I don't know what the solution would be?

There was a story a while back about some coffee shops (not in the UK) that were charging per hour, rather than per drink. Basically you paid to sit at a table for 1/2/3 hours, and had all the drinks you wanted. Plus WiFi Grin.

FuckOffIAmMNetting · 04/03/2016 12:22

When we go anywhere I check if there is a table free and I keep the kids with me in the queue and then check if there is a table still free before I pay.

FigMango1 · 04/03/2016 12:28

Yabu, send your kids to the table before you order. Also I don't think you have any more right than someone with just a coffee to have a seat. You could ask the man to share but I guess not everyone wants to share a table with a bunch of kids.

Original poster
TrueBlu · 04/03/2016 12:34

Sitting at I would use for when you are drinking a coffee or eating.

Hogging when you have finished your food or coffee and are just sitting there reading your book whilst people are waiting.

OP posts:
hudyerwheesht · 04/03/2016 12:36

This is one of those MN topics that I'm always in the minority. I'm prepared to be flamed, I don't give a fuck.

I hate table-hogging. I get that it might seem impractical for more than 2 to queue up and all that but the problem is if you are on your own, as I often am. How am I supposed to bag myself a table?

Many a time I've been walking around with a tray of coffee/food trying to find a single seat while people waiting for their other half/friend to get their orders sit with nothing in front of them try to avoid my eye contact.

TrillKitten · 04/03/2016 12:45

So if on my break I buy a small drink, an espresso.. I can sit for less time before being judged than if I bought a long drink like a latte?
YABU. It's a coffee shop, not a take-away stall. Coffee shops like that sell beverages at an eye-watering mark up because you get to also use the space/tables/seats AND you pay the 20% extra VAT to do so. It is, literally, part of what you are paying for when you go in and who are we to judge how 'correctly' others use what they've paid for? :) Person drinking quickly and then reading the paper is not more/less valid than person drinking slowly and then leaving.

SaucyJack · 04/03/2016 12:51

I've always assumed that Costa/Starbucks et al. are priced so extortionately to include the "hogging" factor. See it as the rent on the seat if you will.

It's not reasonable to charge someone £3 for a coffee and then expect them to leave the second they've finished.

It goes without saying that some people take the piss of course.

NeedToMoveHouse · 04/03/2016 12:52

Martina you don't have to order alcohol if you go to a pub. There are plenty of family friendly pubs that are much more tailored to the family than someone who wants to get sloshed. The ones with outdoor play areas, indoor ball pits, children's menus, etc.

The point being, there are better places available for you to grab a quick bite to eat with your dc if you want to avoid waiting for tables and don't like seeing people taking up tables by nursing coffees and reading books. Just like if I wanted to get some peace away from family I am unlikely to nip to my family friendly pub and have a moan at the noise coming from the playing children. I would escape to a coffee shop with a trashy celeb mag good book.

NightWanderer · 04/03/2016 13:09

SaucyJack Fri 04-Mar-16 12:51:55
I've always assumed that Costa/Starbucks et al. are priced so extortionately to include the "hogging" factor. See it as the rent on the seat if you will.

Yes, this!

A friend of mine gets annoyed at people staying too long at Starbucks but I think Starbucks is one of those places where you can stay an hour with one over-priced coffee. It's why they put sofas in there. Different at McDonald's or somewhere like that.

I don't see the point in getting upset about these things. There are loads of coffee shops about. If you can't get a seat in one, why not try another?

Having said that, there is no way I would queue up with my kids. I always dump them at a table while I order.

bruffin · 04/03/2016 13:27

There was a story a while back about some coffee shops (not in the UK) that were charging per hour, rather than per drink. Basically you paid to sit at a table for 1/2/3 hours, and had all the drinks you wanted. Plus WiFi grin.
There is a Ziferblat in London, my ds has been there, you are expected to do your own washing up as well Grin

OP YABU

OliviaStabler · 04/03/2016 13:30

Hogging when you have finished your food or coffee and are just sitting there reading your book whilst people are waiting.

IMO I do not see that as hogging. Hogging would be if they tried to stop you sharing a table by placing their own belongings around to make it look like there are other people sitting there or there was a free table for two but they sat at a table for four or six instead. But that is just my opinion Smile

MissBattleaxe · 04/03/2016 13:31

The man who was reading the paper may have been planning a second cup. People go there to relax.

hazellnut56 · 04/03/2016 15:23

Families do have rights to these places as much as anyone, however I think their overall target market would be the essay readers/budding writers/ book enthusiasts. Most places provide ample reading material! If a place looks too busy I'd find somewhere elsewhere, not ideal but at least you'd have warm food once there !

Tabsicle · 04/03/2016 15:36

Has anyone mentioned JK Rowling yet? Didn't she write the first Harry Potter book while hogging a table in the Elephant House in Edinburgh? Grin

MissBattleaxe · 04/03/2016 15:43

Yes. I think she once said because it was cheaper than heating her flat. I can imagine her stretching two coffees out all day whilst a phalanx of disgruntled tray carriers flanked her on every side, glaring.

SaucyJack · 04/03/2016 15:44

I can run my gas fire for two days for the price of one fucking Starbucks coffee.

MissBattleaxe · 04/03/2016 15:46

I know, but it makes a great story doesn't it? Shivering impoverished writer seeking refuge in coffee shop with baby. Sounds much better than "got sick of being cooped up so wrote it in a coffee shop".

OddBoots · 04/03/2016 15:50

I can't see any cafe objecting if someone with goods already purchased just sits at a spare seat regardless who else is on that table, especially if the person at that table doesn't have any food or drink. The person sat there has the choice to either stay or go and find another place to sit once they have their purchased items. Just say a polite good morning/afternoon and sit down.

AlanPacino · 04/03/2016 15:51

When I go into a cafe a check we are likely to be seated otherwise I go elsewhere.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/03/2016 15:54

I can't see what the actual issue is Confused

Katedotness1963 · 04/03/2016 15:57

The last time I was in a Starbucks, which I admit was about three years ago because I hate them, the place was full of single people hogging tables to use their laptops/papers/books, that takes up almost a whole four top. Yes, I could share but if I knocked my cup would I be liable for a new laptop?

...ponders taking out "anti large coffee chain" soapbox, decides to have wine instead, it is Friday evening...

MissBattleaxe · 04/03/2016 18:47

Some places have a minimum spend during peak meal times, so the coffee nursers can't just do it on one coffee when the shop could be raking it on paninis (that take half an hour to heat through).

Apart from that, the ambience of a coffee shop is all about relaxing, not belting your coffee in case you're using a seat someone else wants.

LifeofI · 04/03/2016 20:13

Tbh he probably didn't realise you were waiting although i can see how it would be annoying, you should of just asked him if you can share, I bet he would of left

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