to wish MIL would leave my fucking laundry alone!

[bumpertobumper]

She was only trying to be helpful,but is it too much to hope that by almost 70 she should know the basics by now!
Today she was looking after DD while I went to a work meeting, dd had a good long nap so mil decided to 'help' with the laundry. She hung up the load I had put on this morning nicely folded on the airer! Who thinks folded clothes dry? She then put on a load - a mixture of a sheet and some pillow cases, DPs grubby gardening jeans, some baby clothes, tea towels AND DSs shitty pants he'd had an accident in! (They were beside the utility sink, I hadn't had a chance to tackle them). I have just been hanging this load of washing feeling a bit , but now have the rage when I got to the pants in the bottom of the basket, still with traces...
Ffs, if you aren't going to do it properly just leave it.
She also decided that the bath mats beside the washing machine were fine, trying to save me from having to do too much washing, and put them back on the bathroom floor. DD had pissed on them!
She has form for carefully folding dirty clothes and putting them in the kids drawers. And washing up so badly, with the surfaces cloth, that I have to redo it.

She is a great help really, I am very lucky, and we get on well.
But I just need to rant about the unhelpful help which has made more work for me not less... Finding the little things annoying at the moment as the add up. Usually can let it go.

HopeClearwater Yes unhygienic because the bottle of bleach goes around the rim of the loo to clean it properly not because I think it absorbs bacteria

The bleach in the bottle will kill the bacteria as it squirts through the nozzle.

Same bleach will also kill the bacteria on whatever it is next used on. Not unhygienic at all.

I've often used the bottles interchangeably. We are all still here.

Thinking about it... My mother doesn't do much when she visits, but I remember hearing a diatribe from her about why nobody would ever take me seriously after finding the socks of my boyfriend in the laundry basket. She was barely short of calling me prostitute... I was 38.

Sometimes I think the she imagines DS was the work of the holly spirit, she thought my exh so faultless that I cannot imagine her thinking we ever had sex.

Topseyt Well there you go, you live & learn. Turns my stomach but I see your point.

TBH I would much rather my kids got the chance to hang out with their grandparents (and vice versa) than have the GPs doing laundry, even if they did it perfectly!

And here I am to turn the thread on its head!
I used to get stuck into the cleaning when we went to MIL's flat - I think arthritis and failing eyesight made things difficult for her - it didn't occur to me she might mind. I never messed with her laundry, tho, except once when she was in hospital.
A while back dd and her dp popped in to use our washer, as theirs was broken. I said, oh give it here, I'll do it, but dd tried to insist her dp would sort it all, and do it all, including mine, as he's their 'laundry maid'. They were puzzled, then highly amused that I wouldn't let him - I couldn't cope with this young man I hardly know sorting my used granny knickers!

But Annie you say "A while back dd and her dp popped in to use our washer, as theirs was broken. I said, oh give it here, I'll do it, but dd tried to insist her dp would sort it all, and do it all, including mine, as he's their 'laundry maid'. They were puzzled, then highly amused that I wouldn't let him - I couldn't cope with this young man I hardly know sorting my used granny knickers!"

Don't you think your daughter and SIL felt the same about you washing their knickers?

Doing housework for somebody who can not longer do it due to arthritus and failing vision is kind and lovely, although I would still be wary of over stepping boundaries - people can be very proud and undermining dignity (if you don't tactfully get their consent, and assuming they notice) by doing "personal" chores that people feel they should be doing themselves/ might feel judged for not having done to your standards/ that they simply feel are too intimate to be done by others, can be humiliating/ embarrassing at any age... That is a bit of a minefield as you/ one can't let an elderly person you/ one/ we feel responsible for live in a house that is becoming unhygenic of course. My MIL had that problem with her MIL actually...

Just having a little smile at someone "emoting a laundry basket" - I'd love to know what that DYAC is supposed to be, but in the meantime I have this lovely vision of the friend " being the laundry basket, feeling the laundry basket, knowing the laundry basket"...

Bless her. She thinks she is helping you out.
To the person that said don't let her babysit anymore thats cruel.
Just tell her next time to not do your washing as you need to sort it all out.

Exactly, Schwab we're all a mix up, aren't we!
I suppose I was so used to doing dd's and ds's laundry when they lived at home that it seemed normal to me, but I haven't had anyone else do my laundry for 45 years!
To explain about me and MIL - I'd always cook a roast meal at her house when we visited, and do a bit more cleaning in the kitchen than just the washing up, clean the bathroom well when I used it.

The crunch is, some of your MIL's are doing stuff when you've specifically asked them not to. Not On.