to think XDH can f right off?

[foffx]

So he ends things, decides he wants no more children (I did, desperately - back story of years of infertility resulting in DS3) we were talking of TTC for the last 2 years.

Now XDH (mainly still X because he's ended my chance at another child and I can't get over that. If I could it's possible we could resolve things) decides he's going to quit his job and be DS primary carer "so you can go back to work"

Sorry but I thought when we were married we agreed to me being a SAHM till DS (and any future DC) went to school plus I couldn't hope to earn anywhere near what he does

AIBU?

Access has to be fair on the child as well as the parents, especially for a 3 year old who needs consistency and stability.

The OP has been somewhat naive and needs to get some advice on her legal position, potential benefits and job options, her ex isn't going to continue to pay all the bills and reality needs to be faced.

I'll bet you my last mars bar that this is about money and not about a sudden onset of deep paternal feelings and " heartbreak " .

Op- Resist the urge to tell him to fuck off . Don't waste your energy getting angry with him , just get legal and financial advice . And a job .

You cannot insist that he stays in a particular job and pays you a high enough level of maintenance to be a f-t SAHM, whatever was agreed during the marriage.

Child maintenance will be calculated based on what he is earning, and this is outside your control - if he leaves work, he leaves work.

The question of who your dc lives with is separate to who earns what. If the status quo is that your dc lives with you, that is likely to continue. You must ensure dc gets adequate time with him. You are not obliged to employ him as a childcare provider.

In all honesty, you should look into getting some employment, even part-time. A strategy of insisting that he has to pay for you to be a f-t SAHM is not a reliable one.