for wanting to tell the Sainsburys employee to fuck off?

[Yvemen]

I had the day off today...

I have a demanding job and sometimes work long hours...but I loooove my career!! As I had the day off I decided to pick up my daughter early from Nursery and spend a bit of time together.

So we made a quick stop at Sainsburys and this seemingly nice lady at the tills commented on how cute my daughter was. So I said thanks and we had the polite chit chat as as was packing my groceries.. (sorry I'm rambling)

Anyway, she said "It's good to see a mum spending time with her child instead of working for once", to which I replied, " I do work full time, I'm just taking annual leave", then she said "Your daughter's so young,you ought to stay at home so you can create a good bond"

I get soooooooo irritated with people trying to make me and others in similar positions feel guilty for wanting to work! I so badly wanted to tell her to fuck off.

Rant Over.

I would complain about that - and I'm someone who is in Sainsburys near-daily having all sorts of chit-chat with the lovely checkout staff, who have managed to say nothing offensive in 10 years.
Possibly except the one who was shocked when DP mentioned what school our kids are at and gave us a ream of books-for-school vouchers because they felt sorry for us - but that's a common reaction locally - school reputation is at least a decade out of date!

Enjoy your day of leave OP.

Actually, I think it's an outrageous imposition on check-out workers to demand they make small-talk with customers. I honestly think we should be outaged at that, rather than what some busy, distracted, worker says when scrabbling around for something to say comes up with.

You could well have had a cashier who disapproved of you not working. To be a mother is to always be 'wrong' to a great big chunk of population. Young, old, working, not working, they all have their hate clubs!

I HATE making small-talk. It doesn't come naturally to me. I can't believe it's something you can get sanctioned for not doing. I think it's such an imposition. If retailers want to make themselves seem more caring, they should do it at a corporate level, through corporate giving (and paying taxes) - not make their low-paid staff do it.
Now THAT makes me cross.
And I don't think you should complain.
That's like having the slaves flogged because the fire in your bedroom wasn't lit when you retired to bed.

I think it's nice to have a chat with customersbut only the ones that want to talk. It's really awkward when you know that they don't want to. I tend to shut up then. if any manager wanted to tell me off that they would get short shrift from me

Did this conversation actually take place?

And ... At a deeper level, I think those small exchanges at a till are over-invested by many adults. For many reasons, it becomes an exchange where many hope to find their dose of caring, nurturing and validation. Where they are cared for, like a child, perhaps.
Obviously, that is a vast over-determination of what is essentially just a business transaction. And a bit sad.
It's unfair in the check-out people of this world, too.
But that's capitalism, I guess.

YABU the poor lady was just trying to make conversation god knows how mind numbingly boring those jobs are

The job is not that bad, honestly. You get to meet loads of different people and it's nice when they come up to you and remember you . There's a good team spirit with a lot of banter and few think of it as a career so there less backstabbing . Certain managers can be a bit pants and you get the odd snotty customer too but, all in all, it's ok. You're too bust to get bored

Busy

With all aspects of life this happens at one point or another becoming a parent is subjected to, like someone else said You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. No matter what you choose certain people will take it upon themselves to have an issue with it.

My friend shared this on her wall (below) a few days ago and I can relate to some of these things straight away that have been said about me and I've heard people say about others.

I want to make it clear that this is a post I've shared and not mine personally and it's an example of some of the things people come out with.

Gets pregnant at 20: People say "She's too young to have a baby".
Get's pregnant at 35: "She's risking her baby's health!"
Considers abortion: "Can't believe she's just going to get rid of her baby."
Keeps the baby: "How's she going to afford that baby??"
Gets benefits: "Wow, she's so lazy."
Gets a job: "How can she stand to be away from her baby all day like that?"
Becomes a stay at home mum: "She probably doesn't do anything all day."
Stops hanging out with friends: "She totally changed when she had that baby."
Goes out: "She's always partying."
Wants to leave crappy bf: "Nobody knows what it means to work things out anymore."
Wants to stay with crappy bf: "She's dumb."
Eats burger: "Fatty."
Eats salad: "Must be one of those starving health nuts."
Overprotective of her child: "You need to relax, helicopter mum."
Lets her child play without her: "Where is this kid's mum??"
Spanks her kid: "Call Social Services!"
Refuses to spank: "Her kids are gonna be such brats."

No matter what you do, people will talk. So do what is best for YOU & your baby, not other people.

BennyTheBall - Why do you think it didn't?

gandalf you sound so nice and so chilled. I really hope you're having a lovely day.

Thank you, the cat .

Well she's got a point but should perhaps have kept it to herself.

What point has she got?

Yes I'd like to know what point she has too?

She hasn't got a point.
She's got an opinion that you agree with.

It's ok OP, you could be a student Mum... then not only would you be 'abandoning your poor child with strangers' but you also would be 'contributing nothing to the family.'

^Direct quotes from MIL. Luckily I'm too busy with my frivolous student lifestyle to see much of her now...

And in two more years I'll be working as a doctor and she'll have to find something else to bitch about.

Cessre -my mother said that to me. It really got to me. Keep going- it's worth it.

Thanks cat . Sorry you had it too. It's faded slightly now but when she said it it was like she was articulating my innermost guilt and it was awful!

Yes. It's surprisingly corrosive. You'll be a great doctor.

Ditto!

Keep at it, you'll make a great doctor Cesare. All the best