To think the 'Disrespect NoBody' ad campaign is horribly sexist?

[p4rmaviolet]

Not sure if this has already been discussed but has anybody else seen the 'Disrespect NoBody' TV adverts that are supposedly raising awareness for healthy relationships and domestic violence?

Every single scenario in the advert is targeted at men abusing women whether it be physically or emotionally. Y'know because men are never victims?

I was at work then admits to not reading through the thread

What i hope we can agree on is that DA and DV needs to STOP to every victim regardless of their gender.
That will never happen while we are busy arguing about who is more deserving of help.

There is nothing wrong with starting an anti-DV and DA campaign by focusing on the group most at risk of serious harm (= women with male partners). In fact, I think it is sensible and pragmatic. From the point of view of a government-funded initiative it makes sense, since it seems the most cost-effective, to put it bluntly.

However, I hope the campaign does go on to address other forms of DA directed at men by men, women by women, men by women, children by adults etc.

Another thought-such further campaigns might be less visible to us, since they could appear in places and media used by the target audience that we don't frequent. Doesn't mean they don't happen.

I will also always correct that 40% figure wherever I see it - because it is misleading and unhelpful - and men's rights activists use it to abuse women's charities who are a life-line to women and children who are destitute and/or in fear of their lives. This is why people can be so sensitive to the whataboutery here - it doesn't mean I don't believe male victims matter.

I loathe "what about the menz" whingers. Are 2 men every week killed by their partners or ex partners? NO.

Exactly.

And I say this as someone who has a male relative who fell victim to an abusive partner.

Thing is, he could have left. He was at no time in danger of being killed.

Women being abusive against men is something that happens because some people are assholes.

Men being abusive against women is an epidemic, caused by a multitude of factors, misogyny and patriarchal society structures among them.

It is completely justified for a TV campaign to focus on the epidemic, not the singular case that sometimes happens.

After all, people are encouraged to wear helmets when skiing or biking, not when walking, even though it does happen that you fall and hit your head on the edge of the table.

Besides, what happened to telling people to "just feel included"? Or is that only for women and non-white people who demand more representation?

I think that there is another issue. It can be extremely hard to make a campaign that is gender neutral because the causes of death and the situation are so different.

If anything, what you need is two campaigns, one directed towards women and one towards men.

The you can mnake a campaign really targeted to the right people with the right messages.
Trying to make everything gender neutral isn't the way to go.

We are seeing a huge rise in the UK's population from people of other cultures (namely Northern Africa / Middle East / Eastern Europe) where male abuse towards women is the norm. Not the exception.

It is good that these campaigns spread the word, so that these women realise there is help here.

Men from these cultures would be deeply offended if it were suggested a man could be a victim. But they need to see how society here works.

The campaign sends a stonger message depicting the truth.

VestalVirgin

I loathe "what about the menz" whingers. Are 2 men every week killed by their partners or ex partners? NO.

Exactly.

And I say this as someone who has a male relative who fell victim to an abusive partner.

Thing is, he could have left. He was at no time in danger of being killed.

Women being abusive against men is something that happens because some people are assholes.

Men being abusive against women is an epidemic, caused by a multitude of factors, misogyny and patriarchal society structures among them.

It is completely justified for a TV campaign to focus on the epidemic, not the singular case that sometimes happens.

After all, people are encouraged to wear helmets when skiing or biking, not when walking, even though it does happen that you fall and hit your head on the edge of the table.

Besides, what happened to telling people to "just feel included"? Or is that only for women and non-white people who demand more representation?

IF it is an epidemic then why is it in constant decline every year, surely it would increase?

Source www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/compendium/focusonviolentcrimeandsexualoffences/2015-02-12

(The recent evening out is a result of law and enforcement change but still it is decreasing.)

It could be less people are reporting.

I might also add. Domestic violence in homosexual (especially lesbian) relationships is substantially higher than heterosexual relationships. And yet this is not discussed to any significant degree.

No UK stats yet unfortunately but tend USA's tend to roughly match.

Quoted from report - Executive Summary page 2: Victimization by sexual orientation that the lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner was 43.8 percent for lesbians, 61.1 percent for bisexual women, and 35 percent for heterosexual women, while it was 26 percent for gay men, 37.3 percent for bisexual men, and 29 percent for heterosexual men.

azrapeprevention.org/sites/azrapeprevention.org/files/NISVS_Report_0.pdf

Norbdelta were you aware the graph you linked to is about male victims only?
.

I hadn't seen the ads, so I googled it. I actually think the message is good (particularly the specific rape one - so much clearer that a person doesn't need to be fighting and screaming no for it to be against their will) and I don't think it is saying its all male perpetrators and female victims. I mean sure the voices were male and female but the message could apply to the perpetrators and victims being of either gender and any orientation. I think the message is easier to keep clear the way they've done it.

Also it is relevant that women are most likely to suffer severe domestic violence. The campaign is there mostly to try and reduce the most serious cases and thus deaths, serious injury and rape. Reducing more "minor" cases (and that's in little " because no abuse is acceptable or truely minor but I'm trying to get across that deaths, rape and serious injury are even worse) are a goal too, but not to the same extent.

Sorry typo - campaign is therefore mostly

FinallyFreeFromItAll

Deepest apologies, I neglected to add the female one. Both are in this post.

Finallyfree, I agree it's a good message.

I think it is obviously aimed at younger people - there are increasing concerns over young girls thinking controlling relationships are normal, from the quite mildly concerning behaviour of telling her what to wear, to the more serious: being coerced into sexual activity that they don't really want - having sex too soon, being filmed, sexting, naked pictures and so on.

However, "Disrespect Nobody" is the Campaign message - which applies to everybody.

NorBdelta - thank you

I wonder why stalking was the same in 2004/05 but after that decreased much faster for male victims than female?

Under I also agree the way its spoken is to aim it at young people, for the reasons you state. Also I think it can be easier to change public perceptions, in the long term, by focusing on tomorrow's adult, rather than today's. (I had a phse teacher who always used to say that. At school we all just thought it was funny, however as an adult I do think there's truth to it).

7000,000 (Men) - 1.2million (women) = 500,000

Appart from you overestimating the male number by a factor of 10 you would get a -ve number if you took the number of female victims away from male.

You are right, you are no good at maths.

And can I also reiterate my point that the campaign isn't about family abuse and stalking, where the numbers are much closer together for male and female. It's about partner assault and sexual assault, where the numbers of women assaulted are higher.

The 1.2m/0.7m are the blended numbers across all four kinds of domestic assailt.

I don't care whether you think this campaign is sexist OP. And I don't care about the opinions of other posters who are supporting you and posting links and graphs.

You seem to be labouring under the impression that women are supposed to care about everyone else before thinking of their own welfare.

I don't.

I don't care for the opinions of chrismet either. Though I'm glad I read them before they were deleted because they made me laugh.

Statistic say 2 women are killed every week by a "partner"

That does not mean male. Also if 81% of women are victims of abuse doesn't that mean 19% of men should be on included in the advert ?

Today 14:32 VestalVirgin

I loathe "what about the menz" whingers. Are 2 men every week killed by their partners or ex partners? NO.

Exactly.

And I say this as someone who has a male relative who fell victim to an abusive partner.

Thing is, he could have left. He was at no time in danger of being killed.

Women being abusive against men is something that happens because some people are assholes.

Men being abusive against women is an epidemic, caused by a multitude of factors, misogyny and patriarchal society structures among them.

It is completely justified for a TV campaign to focus on the epidemic, not the singular case that sometimes happens.

After all, people are encouraged to wear helmets when skiing or biking, not when walking, even though it does happen that you fall and hit your head on the edge of the table.

Besides, what happened to telling people to "just feel included"? Or is that only for women and non-white people who demand more representation?

this is a complete misrepresentation, you consistently want to put men down rather than look at equality. I am disgusted in the way you disregard men and believe that men are not in danger of being killed. Is it only men who can carry knives? You seriously need to think before you speak

Oh look, another first time poster, drawn to MN for a discussion on DV. Welcome.

I'll tell you what clojam - you post a news link of a woman killed by her lesbian partner, or daughter, or mother - in the UK in the past 12 months. I'll post a corresponding one for a woman killed by her male partner, or son or father. We'll see who runs out of links first.

Sian Blake

We can start with one that's been in the public eye, because she acted in EastEnders.

Your turn.

Well I think it was definitely sexist. Yes, your facts about domestic violence mainly affecting women may be correct, but it's comments like "if your boyfriend is looking through your phone" and "if your boyfriend is telling you who you can and can't talk to", women and girlfriends do this equally

Welcome, Anon.