To think the 'Disrespect NoBody' ad campaign is horribly sexist?

[p4rmaviolet]

Not sure if this has already been discussed but has anybody else seen the 'Disrespect NoBody' TV adverts that are supposedly raising awareness for healthy relationships and domestic violence?

Every single scenario in the advert is targeted at men abusing women whether it be physically or emotionally. Y'know because men are never victims?

"if your boyfriend is telling you who you can and can't talk to", women and girlfriends do this equally

Do they?

And, are the expected consequences the same if men ignore "being told"?

Poor Laura Davies told her friends that she wanted to break up with her unemployed boyfriend but would let him live in her flat for a while because she wasn't a meanie who wanted to make him homeless.

He repaid her by stabbing her over 80 times.

Your turn.

Further research still, Limited

Dramatisation on the real life, and sad and preventable, death story of This Woman

It's time we stop treating these women as statistics, we need to name these women, pay our respects to these women - not claim gender parity.

I know Under. If you click on the film in my link of the murderer punching a bag, at the end it goes straight into a film of another man who murdered his girlfriend. Maybe there's one after that too.

So anyway Clojam, we've put up three examples of men murdering their female partners without even breaking a sweat.

Over to you...

Your turn, clojam.

As a male survivor of DV I find this advert, thread and the sentiments contained within absolutely revolting.

You should be ashamed, reeling out abuse cases like your playing Top Trumps. These are peoples lives. Every case matters and every survivor deserves representation.

Disgusting....

So basically what many people are saying is that men cannot learn if the example given is of a female. OK, got that.

Tell the govt. so they can make more effective campaigns in future that make you feel included.

And suggest the phone numbers for both support groups are added.

Anonguy I am very sorry you were the victim of domestic abuse.

I have watched the advert and find it very unhelpful, I am not sure many young people will be interested or engaged by it. And for adults I just find it utterly bizarre. It seems very juvenile.

I would much rather anti domestic abuse adverts told people how to tackle this, where to get help help etc.

I hope all survivor of domestic abuse are able to help feed into public awareness. The fact that domestic abuse affects women and men disproportionately is not something that I, or many other women on here, are seeking to trivialise, quite the opposite. It is simply a fact. In all these cases people are, of course, more than statistics.

The phone thing is relevant because although men and women may all look at partners phone's etc it is, as DrSeussRevived says, the consequences of these actions that are the key things here.

I don't think the government campaign is really about not looking at your partners phone so much as what may follow that, will this lead to controlling behaviour. Could it lead to violence.

I do think it is unfortunate that the 'boobs' and female voice are used for the part talking about sexting/nude picture sharing.

There is much better advertising out there about this, IMHO.

www.parentsprotect.co.uk/sexting.htm

CEOP – 'Exposed' video and Pressure Pic Problem - Boyfriend's Story - That's Not Cool

I think the second one is what this campaign was partly aiming for (funny jokey) but I think the fruit manages this so much better than the disembodied body parts!

I know someone who had a similar experience to the girl in the CEOP video, and it was a boy.

I think we should be able to talk about all this without trading insults. And I really do hope those affected by these issues get to feed into public information.

Can't believe how many old wives tales are being used here. I thought I'd Google the advert because I thought it was sexist myself. 40% of domestic violence is aimed at men, this is of all cases which are proven. Many reports are simply ignored by the police and refuge centres for men are severely lacking with 2 (I believe) in the UK. For tens of refuge centres for women. I'm not saying domestic violence isn't important, but why do all the women on here seem to be so stuck up it has to be targeted at a gender? Why can't it just be target at domestic violence instead of domestic violence against women? What is the point, it's reinforcing ridiculous stereotypes.

The advert is sexist. There's no two ways about it.

Females may be victims far more often than men, but men are still victims. The advert completely overlooks this.

1 in 5 sufferers of domestic violence is male. Although that means 4 in 5 is female 1 in 5 is still a shocking statistic and should not be overlooked. It's no a competition. It's people's lives. And some of the posts on this discussion is absolutely horrible. Some people ought to be ashamed. Stop being so disrespectful and realise this is people's lives you are talking about.

Bringing the deaths etc into this is irrelevant. The advert doesn't talk about deaths from dv, so I don't see why people feel the need to bring those deaths up and use them as some sort of trump card to win a petty argument.

You should be ashamed, reeling out abuse cases like your playing Top Trumps. These are peoples lives. Every case matters and every survivor deserves representation.

Well said tbh.

It's also worth noting that women campaigned for, set up and pursued ongoing funding for women's refuges. Just as some charities are focussed on breast cancer and others on prostate.

I know no poster on these boards who would stand in the way of men campaigning for men's refuges, though if funding was proposed to be taken from women's refuges, of course this would be challenged, just as any disease group would challenge funding being reduced.

For discussion and break down of the 40% number, please see upthread

Greyhound, re sexting, is it as prevalent for boys to send pictures to girlfriends which are then passed on?

Again, I would say this is one piece of media in a campaign which may end up as a series of ads etc and which includes wide ranging information on its website.

And welcome back to MN, zigoow.

Oh, doglover77, welcome too.

Are these campaigns are sexist as well? Are they effective? I think so.

(Trigger warning)

www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/the-most-brutal-domestic-violence-awareness-ads#.pbmq05Jdqg

And here is a bunch of ads using posed violence against women to sell fashion. I assume OP protested at the time that these were horribly sexist? Or are things only horribly sexist if they can be construed as being focused on women's well being?

www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/violence-against-women-in-fashion-continues-unabated#.byEjrXAGjN

There's been some serious misconceptions posted here about male DA, e.g. 'blokes can leave if they want to'. If I posted that about a woman stuck in a DA relationship I'd get a bollocking.

Abed

Yes, I think that's an incorrect assumption. Whilst it's true that, on average, men are more likely to have access to finance to fund an escape than women (many women who post on here about escaping DA are SAHMs with no access to money and worries about supporting children if they leave), of course there are lots of factors that make victims stay.

Why can't it just be target at domestic violence instead of domestic violence against women?

I assume you're not an advertising professional?

The reason this ad has been designed the way it has is to reach the maximum number of victims of DA.
Considerations would have included;

What is the sociodemographic profile of the target audience?
How can the message be best communicated the the majority?
If we include material that targets the minority audience, will that reduce the number of victims reached overall?

This is pure economics, not sexism.

And, as it's a publicly funded campaign, you are entitled to see the correspondence, minutes, emails and other material that relate to it - so you can find out for yourself whether it was deliberate or not by making an FOI request.

Well put, fireflies.

A PP has transcribed the phrases used above, a lot of the content could be applicable to either sex. The phrases are spoken in a mix of victim and perpetrator voices.

Many adverts will use a male voice or actor whilst planning to convey messages to both sexes.

So would a male victim or female perpetrator seeing this ad get nothing from it? That seems unlikely.

The style of it seems to be a "younger" focus too - is it also "horribly ageist"? If not, why not?

Why do all the MRAs come out at night?

This -

refuge centres for men are severely lacking with 2 (I believe) in the UK. For tens of refuge centres for women

always pisses me off. WHY do you think thee are more refuge centres for women? Who do you think set them up? Could it possibly be that because of the overwhelming demand, women have campaigned for funding, and women have set them up?

Some men are so used to the expectation that women will do everything for them, that this 'you have loads of shelters, where are ooouuuurrrrr shelters you meanies??' whine is trotted out all the time.
Women's shelters did not spring up out of thin air.

It's also worth noting that women campaigned for, set up and pursued ongoing funding for women's refuges....I know no poster on these boards who would stand in the way of men campaigning for men's refuges

Quite right. If men campaigned for more refuges, I'd applaud and support them.

But we never see that. We only ever get blamed and called sexist for not sorting it all out for them.

You should be ashamed, reeling out abuse cases like your playing Top Trumps. These are peoples lives. Every case matters and every survivor deserves representation.

No - I'm putting real women's names to the statistic that 2 women a week die from male violence. That is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. These are indeed real people's lives, that have been lost from DV.

Because the 40% statistic is bollocks and makes it look like there is gender parity - there isn't. DV is a real threat to life for women and children.

The campaign might not specifically be about deaths, but again, that will be a considered decision from the government and ad agency - DV usually escalates (unlike, say, drink driving where your first offence is as likely as your tenth to be the one that kills someone, hence the ads discuss death).

So if victims and perpetrators can be reached earlier, the cycle can be stopped and serious sexual and physical assaults reduced, which is no doubt in the campaign's goals.

Yes indeed, Dr Seuss. The vast majority of women killed in DV will have started off in relationships as depicted in the advert. Controlling, coercive relationships - which then escalates into violence.

Women in abusive relationships tend to blames themselves for the abuse, or think they've done something to deserve it. They also tend to think it is normal, and that this is just how all relationships are. This advert is saying "No, it's not normal, it's not OK". It's a good message.

With regard to refuge places, and as predicted, it is also true that women in violent/abusive relationships are more likely to be financially abused too.

Women with children will be more likely to work part-time or not at all, and more likely to suffer financial hardship when leaving a partner. They are, as I've said before, also more likely to be killed. The time she tries to leave being the most dangerous time of all for her.

That's why there are more women's refuge places - because there are more women in need of life-saving protection and financial support.