To think the 'Disrespect NoBody' ad campaign is horribly sexist?

[p4rmaviolet]

Not sure if this has already been discussed but has anybody else seen the 'Disrespect NoBody' TV adverts that are supposedly raising awareness for healthy relationships and domestic violence?

Every single scenario in the advert is targeted at men abusing women whether it be physically or emotionally. Y'know because men are never victims?

No, sherlock, it's not ok. And if there were targeted adverts to support men who were subject to DA, I'd be equally quick to defend any one who criticised them as sexist.

But, this advert was targeted at women abused by men. Probably, because there are more of them than other 'categories' of victims, so this was the best value for money. That's not to say the other victims are less important, but when there is only a finite budget, it has to be spent in the most effective way. And in this case, targeting a campaign at the largest demographic - women victims of male abuse - was the best value for money.

Perhaps, when you are able to reflect a little, you would think about how women feel, knowing that they are more likely to be subject to DA than any other category of victim?

I was checking out the chat about this I came across your conversations. Having read your posts on here I had to add a couple of things.
Firstly, as someone who had been on the receiving end of female to male domestic abuse. It doesn't matter which gender does it, it is just wrong!
Secondly that post which states that 40% of domestic abuse is on males is right.
www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence
Please check this out! as I said, all domestic abuse is wrong!

It's close to the Witching Hour. Expect more similar posts from the ilk.

Ohshutupthomas you really should get your facts right, one third of domestic adult murderes are women killing men. Men are about a third of domestic abuse victims check out the safelives website.
Yes that advert was really sexist IMHO domestic abuse is an issue regardless of race, age, gender or sexuality. It ranges from physical to mental, stopping contact for no reason, parental alienation and so on.
The website offers advise to anyone it's a shame the advert reals out negative stereotypes and doesn't help raise awareness of the true extent of the problem

Not a moment too soon there AnyFucker

Hey Chris. Are you the same Chris that left these charming deposits behind t'other day?

Well done on being a bunch of cunts. Modern women are uncaring pieces of shit who don't give a fuck about men. Fuck the lot of you.

Thanks for proving that modern women are spoils entitled feminist infested fucktards. Women are constantly acting the victim yet when a man says something it's the worst thing in the world. Throw yourselves under a bus you utter cunts.

Just wondering

It doesn't matter which gender does it, it is just wrong!

Yes. And no one's disagreed with this so far.

Secondly that post which states that 40% of domestic abuse is on males is right.

You then go on to link the stats from Parity. This has been discussed up thread ^^ thattaway.

Ohshutupthomas no i haven't seen these comments before

Oh. Well in that case welcome.

What brings you to mumsnet?

That add funnily enough I googled it and it came up with this debate, I'm in favour of shared parenting and like to discuss issues facing dads hence the name ! How about you?

Well, maybe I didn't see that however the point is that abuse effects everyone male on female, female on male, male on male and female on female.
I've seen the advert and I thought that it could have been broader.
This is really the first time I've ever spoken about this. Although it happened a long time ago, it still haunts me!

I would be pissed off if I saw an advert for phd places in physics/engineering that only showed men. Women are a minority (15-20%) in those areas but an advert that portrayed all scientists as men would be horribly sexist.

I don't understand in what way this advert is less horribly sexist for portraying all victims of domestic abuse as female when 40% are male. Even shifting up to domestic violence doesn't put the male ratio below that of female engineers....so why is the first not okay and the second is?

IS it just male privilege?

I felt the add was so awful I sent a complaint to the ASA doubt they will care but it's a start

People do realise that the whole women are supposed to be caring / you lot are uncaring cunts is laughably sexist stereotyping in and of itself?

I mean did the men think they could come here and insult our lack of femininity.

chris the ASA don't care...they process complaints. They look at the ad and the complaint and their guidelines and regulations and pull it or don't.

I speak as a veteran of many complaints to the ASA - some on the grounds of sexism some on the grounds of over blown medical claims....

Good for you for trying at least it's something.

well I have a 3 out of 4 upheld record...so I am not complaining (excuse the pun)

The one that got away was infacol. They have the most ridiculous efficacy data you could imagine but apparently the ASA couldn't do anything because they had gotten a licence to trade as a medicine from some idiots that apparently couldn't understand the placebo effect and hence the ASA's hands were tied.

I don't know how you end up in a situation where NICE state there is no evidence of efficacy but Infacol can keep trading and advertising that there is...it defies logic.

er...this might be slightly off topic.

I don’t see anyone trying to make domestic abuse women’s fault. It clearly is not the victims fault.
When someone becomes a victim of domestic violence it is NOT that the victim is doing anything wrong or are stupid for not just leaving the person. This is because things are never that simple. Normally the victim is subjected to very slight forms for mental abuse, first. These acts appear insignificant at the time and the victim rationalizes these things away. Unfortunately it builds up over time until the victim has lost there sense of self.
These things are very unfortunate and it is important that people are aware of the dangers.
It’s important to be fair. The 81% figure is from a 2001 report. More resent reports indicate that 40% or more of domestic abuse is by women on men.
www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence
Despite who is the instigator of domestic abuse it is always wrong.
The adverting is welcome but it is unfortunately following a trend in society that is blaming all men for the wrongs of others.
Men do a lot of good in this world and the vast majority are hardworking caring people.
It is unfortunate that it is now fashionable to mock and to blame men for all of the world’s problems.
Men are to take all the insults and just laugh it off. Men do tend to hide their feeling more but we do have them.
I am only replying because I worry for the youth of today as this does affect teenager’s view of themselves.
These are all very slight insults and I am sure teenager boys will rationalizes them away but it does build-up in people.
Be fair

Very well put, I worry for my son too growing up in this society were such negative male stereotypes are portrayed. I wonder if he will have problems seeing his children as I have had seeing him by an abusive ex partner.

As women we grow up with it ingrained in us that we should be seen and admired but not heard or display agency. On this thread we have had men tell us we should be more compassionate simply because we are women. The damage done to women by societal sexism is huge. The damage done to men by societal sexism is also huge.

And this DV business is only one element of it.

You should however consider that teenage boys feeling they are branded by association to crimes they haven't committed seems like a drop in the ocean to the pressures teenage girls come under thanks to the combined mindfuckery of the cosmetics and porn industries.

I am afraid that men are waking up slowly and recently to the idea that sexism doesn't always benefit them...while women have been living that bullshit for all of recorded history.

It is going to make it a little hard for women to find the desired level of compassion. I am not saying women shouldn't find it - but you should at least be able to see why it is hard.

T'is another night another "women are supposed to be more compasionate than men" style posts on this thread which would otherwise have been finished with.

Slugseatlettuce At least 40% of all domestic violence is towards men, of course their is a demand. By saying that men don't need refuge centres but women do, again is sexist by assuming men should bottle up their emotions. Are you saying we shouldn't help men who are emotionally and physically abused by their partners because their partners tend to kill them less that men kill women? Of course men kill more women, because it's much more unlikely for a women to be able to overpower and kill a man trough violence, men are naturally stronger. Whilst society may be sexist towards women in certain situations, regarding the law and institutions, Men experience sexism much, much more. Why are you arguing that men should be ignored so that women can get special treatment and preserve the idea that all domestic violence is caused by men? Seriously, what is your argument? Men shouldn't be helped?

It's official - 2-3am is MRA hour! Come one! Come all!

Whilst society may be sexist towards women in certain situations, regarding the law and institutions, Men experience sexism much, much more.

We need a Hall of Fame for these.

By saying that men don't need refuge centres but women do, again is sexist by assuming men should bottle up their emotions. I've worked in male shelters, I've worked in women's shelters, I've worked with offenders, I've worked with 'troubled youth', I've worked in lots of caring professions and guess what sex most of the staff were in those places? Women. If you want to work weekend nights in a shelter for men, believe me there are vacancies. I know because they couldn't find enough staff for the two years I worked that shift.

I saw some violence from women while working in various fields. A couple of times towards men. And I supported those men. But over and over it was men assaulting men and men assaulting women. I won't go into the horrific sex workers survivor stories again but having worked in that field... I simply do not believe that women approach how abusive, violent and dangerous a lot of men are.

Offend me on a personal basis as much as you want, I still believe in equality.

Was anyone else reminded of ?

The message of the advert is 'disrespect noBody'....and all the examples are men abusing women. The irony is embarrassing.

It's like making an advert to raise awareness about pancreatic cancer, and only showing women who have been affected by it. It's affects both males and females and the message that it would send out would be that men need not worry.

It could have been a very good advert, but unfortunately it has been ruined.