Parents should pick up after their kids who make mess in restaurants

[LifeofI]

Do you think so?

I was in a restaurant today with my friend and her two year old, her child always eats about 4 chips then the rest she just throws the food around. When we were leaving a lady made a comment "aren't you going to clean that up" my friend didn't hear but i did and said no and she just tutted.

When i got home me and my partner had a discussion and he thinks the parents should clean up after their child as he has work as a waiter and said it is annoying but i'm on the fence about it. We have a very young baby who hasn't started eating solids so we are not at that stage.

What do you think?

sorry captain, missed your post

Ive always cleaned spillages with baby wipes. What's the problem with that?

Can I have votes on whether we should all be doing scenario a or scenario b please?

Somewhere in the middle I would have thought. I wouldn't leave tea spills on the table in case I put my sleeve in it, for example.

There was a thread like this a couple of years ago where people who worked in restaurants said not to clean up completely or they won't know that the floor/table/high chair is dirty and won't clean it properly with the antibacterial stuff.

I'm sorry but that's rubbish. I worked in various jobs in the food industry and find the opposite- if I'm/we're not sure a table is clean, it gets done.

It's really lazy not to clean up after yourself/your kids. I wouldn't expect a parent to sweep/clean the floor but a bit of effort not to leave the table a huge mess is really appreciated.

Where I work we have various activities for the kids who visit- the longer I spend cleaning up your mess, the less time I have to do those with your kids. Plus it's properly disgusting to have to pick up cold, half chewed food.

My 18 month old isn't a great eater and throws food (we give her it bit by bit but will throw what she doesn't want). We do pick up after her the best we can but there will sometimes be a bit of mess under the high chair.

I don't stack plates though as I used to be a waitress and rarely found this helpful.

Just saw the scenario a/b question- I wouldn't expect B and think A is just good manners!

"It's really lazy not to clean up after yourself/your kids. I wouldn't expect a parent to sweep/clean the floor but a bit of effort not to leave the table a huge mess is really appreciated. "

this is the opposite, in terms of table vs. floor, to what everyone on this thread seems to be vehemently insisting is orthodoxy.

Just because someone is paying for food and the waiting service that goes with it doesn't give them the right to treat people without respect. Eating out and being so slovenly just shows up the person being slovenly. Not nice. Treat others and your surroundings how you would like yourself and your neighbourhood to be treated.

"Just because someone is paying for food and the waiting service that goes with it doesn't give them the right to treat people without respect. Eating out and being so slovenly just shows up the person being slovenly. Not nice. Treat others and your surroundings how you would like yourself and your neighbourhood to be treated."

This post is almost devoid of actual content. It's pure pompous hot air.

I still don't understand anything. I have a feeling that I have really different ideas about cafes than some other people but I can't tell because no one is saying anything except things like "respect" or "well, I do go overboard" (but you do it. So you don't think it's overboard, do you? What do you think is normal?)

In my opinion, practices like this have a sweet spot where you are being polite. you are being rude if you misjudge either under or over. (Eg - if you were a guest it is polite to offer to help clear up dinner - it is rude to start mopping their kitchen floor - I think, anyway. If you come to stay, it is polite to bring a contribution and a gift; it is rude to get an ocado delivered for everything you need for the length of your stay, including bog roll)

And - in my opinion - as far as I can tell - some of the most vehement on this thread are in the spot that I would consider "rude and inconvenient over-faffing"

Is this just me? Do I need to change? I can't tell because no one will really explain

I pick up anything big off the floor, mainly so it doesn't get stood on!

Your friend was rude and inconsiderate letting her dc make a mess and leaving it. Pulling her up on that isn't commenting on her parenting anymore than pulling her up if she had left the mess herself.

You were a bit rude to the lady by just replying with a blunt "no", maybe she looked at you because you were the only one that looked round. You could have just as easily replied politely or said to your friend that the lady was talking to her and let her deal with the consequences of being manky..

To be perfectly honest it doesn't matter if I'm at home....at a friends....at a restaurant....the local pub or cafe....on an aircraft....or eating a hot dog on a street corner.

I have manners....I don't even have to think about it ....kind of comes naturally.

I don't leave unnecessary mess behind for others to clean up....

My dd who is 5 doesn't either. She needs the odd reminder perhaps....but myself and my family treat our surroundings and others with respect.

I clean up the floor, give the table top a mop with baby wipe if necessary, apologise and thank the waiting staff and leave a generous tip. Every. Time.

"To be perfectly honest it doesn't matter if I'm at home....at a friends....at a restaurant....the local pub or cafe....on an aircraft....or eating a hot dog on a street corner.

I have manners....I don't even have to think about it ....kind of comes naturally.

I don't leave unnecessary mess behind for others to clean up....

My dd who is 5 doesn't either. She needs the odd reminder perhaps....but myself and my family treat our surroundings and others with respect."

Another content-less post. you might just as well have written "I am a good person, probably better than you, at least it is very important for me to believe this"

I think you are all being deliberately vague because you recognise that there is a sweet spot and you are afraid of missing it. you have a natural inclination to exaggerate to make sure everyone is aware that you are Very Very Good but as you know this could misfire, you have decided to just make Empty Noises of Goodness

I can feel a name change coming on

HowBad I think you have misunderstood - neither of the scenarios you describe really seems to relate to the OP and the situation it described.

The majority of answers have been about clearing up after a toddler who has thrown food about and made such a mess that a stranger has commented. What most people have said is that they'd pick up food that's been thrown on the floor (not necessarily every last pea) wipe any big spills or messes on the table, and try and confine rubbish to plates. As opposed to just walk out leaving a trashed floor and table behind.

What a load of shite.

I lack in many areas I'm sure but thankfully not in the areas this post is discussing.

For example, I get sick of clearing up an aircraft after passengers and their lack off manners leave nappies on the floor....crisps in the carpet ....shite plastered on the changing station....food squashed in the aisles....

Reckon the Op's 'friend' is just the type to trot off in entitled oblivion and leave all the crap behind.

To be honest I got a bit bored reading your scenarios.

Got side tracked

Hence no comment on them.

HowBad - you've lost me.

Howbad I don't know if you're being deliberately obtuse - I have acknowledged that I go overboard maybe in comparison to other people, but in the post that you clearly didn't read properly I said that I would expect that most people would just keep their mess limited to plates.
How is that vague? I really can't see what you aren't understanding.
It wasn't a cafe, it was a restaurant, usually in restaurants they tend to be pretty back to back with bookings, not leaving them a huge amount of time to clear an area before the next customers are seated.
I had 3 under 4 so our table and floor were generally heavily disguised by bread rolls, nuggets, and other unrecognisable shite. I therefore made sure (and still, unapologetically do) that all bigger bits of food are chucked back into the plates, dropped napkins picked off the floor, and again, bigger bits of food - see aforementioned bread rolls are picked off the floor and put onto a used plate ready to be taken away.
One thing I don't do is stack as I know some staff have magical ways of carrying 78 plates if they can pick them up correctly. If liquid is spilt everywhere, I'll clean that up too so it doesn't stain the wood.
I don't carry a DustBuster in my arse pocket to hoover up crumbs, I just try to make the area as if a normal family rather than ours had eaten there.
Why you think this makes me some gigantic breast beating martyr is beyond me.

I worked as a waitress - I suppose sweeping up food from the floor is a bit gross but lots of people's jobs are a bit gross and if you're being paid to do it, you do it! Stacking plates is out, as is giving stuff back to staff who will be working to their own rhythms. By all means have a quick pick up to look better but a small mess is the same work to clear up as a big mess.

I always make an effort to clean up after dd, she can make a mighty mess, just because someone is paid to clean the table/serve doesn't mean they should have to pick up after inconsiderate messers who can't be bothered to demonstrate normal manners.
It's like throwing your rubbish on the pavement in front of a littler picker whilst stood next to a bin and saying "well it is your job after all "
Plain disrespectful.