Tell me I am bu. Slightly scared/ nervous to get a job again!

[littlejolee]

I'm a sahm to ds (2) and only 25. I've had one job between studying and goofing off being a stupid teenager. Finally got my act together and trained to be a chef but fell pg in the middle of my diploma. Been a sahm since DS was born. He's just started nursery and I really want to get to work as a chef again (last job was cooking but pre diploma, loved it but was let go due to some fairly shady politics) but having just looked around on the internet at jobs in actually pretty scared of applying! It's ridiculous I know. Advice? Kick up the bum please?

It'll just be because you're out of the swing of things & its "fear of the unknown". Just look at your son & know it'll hopefully be providing him a better / more comfortable lifestyle when he's older. You've said yourself that you enjoyed it in the past so believe in yourself & give yourself a chance x

YANBU, and it's not ridiculous at all.

What about just getting everything together without any pressure just to test the water?

CV, interview clothes, work out hours and that, you don't have to actually do anything until you see a job you know would be right up your street for great pay with great people and you'll get that bite of excitement that'll start to overcome any fear you're ready?

Which bit are you most scared of?

Only natural to feel a bit scared, but have you heard the phrase 'feel the fear and do it anyway'? Give it a go and see what happens. Remember you don't have to commit to anything that you don't want to. Nothing to lose! Good luck!

I think it's the change of pace/ uncertainty in childcare that worries me most. I'm typically a very laid back lazy af person and life will be much more hectic when I go to work. Tbh I'm really just fed up of doing the lions share of the housework, I hate housework and can tolerate quite a bit more mess/clutter than dp, trying to keep the house to his (admittedly not OTT) standards with a lunatic 2yo and not become a lunatic myself is hard!
I also miss the high heat high adrenaline pan slinging camaraderie and copious amounts of foul language that comes as part of working in a kitchen, it's hard work but I really do love it even if the pay is crap. I feel like myself a little bit more when I'm in my whites. Was having a bit of a clean out the other day and it struck me that I hadn't taken them out of the wardrobe for three years!
That being said, the last round of job hunting put me in quite a bad place mentally as I tend to rightly or wrongly take rejection quite personally (throwback from being bullied as a kid) and I don't really want to go there again, though I feel that I'm probably going to be facing quite a lot of it if I start applying due to my nearly non existent experience and being out of work for so long to look after ds

of course you are worried, but I think you'll kick-ass.

Go for it!

You're right - the pace will change when you're working - juggling work and kids is hard, but if you get energy and joy from working then that too will reflect into your home life. It's really good that you recognise that you are taking rejection personally, then you can find ways to depersonalise it. We all face job rejection and it is hard but not personal. If you get rejected, try to find out why and see if you can find a way to fix it. Go for it!

Do you have childcare lined up? I've known a couple of people who have had to leave jobs in the hospitality sector due to the hours and the pay not covering the higher costs that come with late hours.

Two years out of the workplace isn't really that long though. I was a sahm for 8 years and had plenty of job offers when I wanted to return.

Yeah shoes dp works 9-5 and DS is in nursery from 1-5 but only two days a week, so I was thinking I might be able to get a couple of evenings and weekend shifts, depending on how much money id get etc might consider putting ds in nursery for another afternoon. As it stands though I think I could only really go back part time as gp all work full time, two doing erratic shifts etc so couldn't always ask them to babysit for us. I'm also wary of putting extra pressure on dp as he would have to pick up a bit more of the childcare and he's already exhausted

Remember interviews are two way, so you can make sure any job is right for you. And, if you get a job and it doesn't work out you can always look for another, or leave and look after your DC for a few more years.

However, I think once you get back to work you will love it so much (time to yourself, adult company, money etc)

Thanks for the replies everyone, still nervous but less so now :)

I didn't get my first full-time job until I was 44! Freelanced for two decades before that. Imagine how I felt applying for that first position!

YANBU to be a bit nervous, but it will be fine. You are so young!

I was nervous about interviewing for the first job after 8 years out of the job force. I had expected my first few interviews to be more practice (never expected to be hired).

I was offered a position at my first interview - asked them for the night to consider, and after doing more research on the company, turned down the offer.

I am glad I did, too... they have called me twice in the last few months to ask if I had reconsidered - on the second call, I asked them to "lose" my number. If they are so desperate as to call someone who has already turned them down twice, they probably struggle to retain staff.

You are not bloodbound to accept a position, try to own the hesitation and put yourself out there.

A SAHP has lots of useful skills -

Money management planning negotiating (2 year olds should be used as a training aid) you have to be on it 24/7 shopping being frugal all useful work skills.

Start applying for one or two - and expect rejection - that way it doesn't hurt as such -

Sell yourself on your CV - I am organised I can do XYZ

If you get offered a position - then it's your choice to say yes or no !!