To think sister isn't happy with our 'happy news'?

[DimpledDonut]

DP and I are expecting. It has come as a bit of a shock...

I sent a group email (close family) with the scan picture and everyone got very exited, had a barrage of messages and phone calls. My sister said wow what a shock, congrats, and haven't heard from her since. She hasn't liked the announcement DP made to his acquaintances on Facebook or my scan picture.

She uses Social media a lot so I don't think it's a case of rather having heard in person - we live pretty far away from all our family.

You told your sister by e-mail? I'd imagine that's why she isn't making an effort now.

I also wonder how many exclamations of 'congratulations' will be sufficient for you? Why is facebook 'liking' such a barometer of feeling?

If I were your sister, I would also be shrugging off any residual feelings of closeness in the realisation that we weren't actually that close if a group e-mail with a scan picture was the earliest I'd heard.

But you could ring her and find out the real reason rather than asking people on a thread who wouldn't know. Ask.her.

I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment by expecting others to be as thrilled about your pregnancy as you are. I really don't see what your sister has gone wrong.

I would be pissed off if my sister was pregnant and didn't at least tell me over the phone! I remember the phone calls they made (I have two sisters and they have two children each) and it was so great and I screeched and cried every time (I'm not usually a screecher or crier!). I was also incredibly excited when I got to ring my sisters as I finally had the reason to call them!

I think the liking Facebook post is a bit ridiculous to be honest. It makes you sound like a teenager.

Although you don't know that they're are or aren't trying maybe they are.

She has congratulated you so she's not been 'bad'.

I think you should call her and ask her how she is.

Oh god, I'm due in 10 days and my twatty sister hasn't even mentioned my pregnancy. I do think she's jealous but there's no need.

My sister didn't even bother telling me she was pregnant with her second son. She got our mother to do so.

It hurt. It felt very unpersonal.

Maybe it's not news that makes her very happy? I don't think she should have to respond in any particular way, and if she isn't overjoyed, for whatever reason, she shouldn't have to pretend she is, as long as she's polite, considerate, saying congratulations, etc, which is sounds like she is. You can't make yourself feel things, and if for any number of reasons she feels envious, worried, upset, sad, or whatever else, that is fair enough. She doesn't need to let you know those things, of course - she should be kind and polite, but YABU to expect any particular reaction from her. YANBU to be disappointed, however, as I'm sure I would be too, if my sister weren't happy for me. You can hope that with time, she will become more excited or happy about it, and perhaps then she will behave/respond in the way that you want her to.

Agree you can't expect a particular reaction. It was a shock for you so is probably a shock for your sister. Let her process your news and give her time.

So she has actually said congratulations?

Just not on FB?

Email group announcements and Facebook likes? Oh please. Maybe if you'd picked up the phone to her to tell her she might have been sufficiently congratulatory.
Or maybe she just isn't that happy for you. There is no obligation on her to be.

Your sister has congratulated you.

What difference does it make if she clicks a button on a social media site? It's just Facebook.

Well you deserved the response you got. If you wanted a more personal reply then you should have picked up the phone and called her. As for fb likes counting

I find your reaction very odd.
She hasn't liked a FB post? Seriously?

Is your sister's DD currently the only grandchild? Is she competitive?

Sounds normal to me. My sister phoned me to tell me she was pregnant and I had to try very hard to be enthusiastic as I'd just had a miscarriage. I didn't get the chance to tell her about my last 2 pregnancies as my other sister beat me to it both times.

These things matter more with your first baby as it's suddenly the most important thing in your life and you think it should be just as important to other people.

It sounds like you aren't close if you didn't tell her in person and don't even know if she could be ttc or not. Maybe she doesn't follow your DP on FB, especially if she doesn't like him or perhaps she thought she had already congratulated you once and there was no need to keep doing so.

I found out my brother had got married in a group message on Facebook. I was gutted not to have received a phone call or personal message about such a major life event, but replied congratulations and gave them a card. There was a bit of a rift in the family after this because it seemed they wanted more congratulations and celebrations. What are you really expecting from your sister OP?

So she said congratulations? Sounds normal and friendly to me. I tend to only give one 'virtual' congratulations for this kind of thing and then save my gushing till I speak to them or see them in person.

I hate this monitoring some people do of Facebook Likes. It sounds such a stressful way to spend time.

Crotchet has an excellent point, your sister might not be happy with this news for what ever reason, she has said congratulations and you should be happy with that. I think its a bit off that you told her over email with every one else.

My sister lost a baby and hasnt tried to get pg since, I told her very sensitively that I was pg last year, you don't know whats going on behind the scenes.

I would expect at least a phone call from a sibling
So an email.. Nah i would not be all excited

Maybe her internet's down.

I miss loads of people's posts as I am in lots of groups. Also I have a very busy life. It may simply be just this?

I don't recall my brother saying congratulations. I think he said 'are you really up the duff again?'

DimpledDonut Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope you can enjoy it and not worry too much what others say or think.

I found out my sister was pregnant by accident. There were reasons why but I still felt very hurt indeed. I think including your sister in a group email was a very inconsiderate way to tell her.

I think noticing whether she has liked or not liked a post rather than talking to her on the phone is a very unusual response. Why not just call her for a chat?

Good luck.

I find it strange when I see close family responding to families posts on Facebook, that is normally done on a more personal level leaving fb for wider family and friends. The like button is just another reason to fucking hate fb a bit like texts and having to respond to avoid upset even when news should be one on one not some sort of group attachment. You have great news it should be shared on a level it deserves.