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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To worry about this?

17 replies

Funkymusic · 26/02/2016 21:59

My 4 year old son has started saying he doesnt like the look of his face when hes in the mirror and then today when we were in a clothes shop he was saying no more mirrors i dont want to look at myself!

This has kind of thrown me if im honest should i be worried?

OP posts:

VoldysGoneMouldy · 26/02/2016 22:06

Has he overheard you / someone else saying things like this? A lot of praise for him, and publicly praise yourself as well.

Poor love.

AmserGwin · 26/02/2016 22:08

Don't overthink it, just reassure him that everything Is ok. Hopefully it will all be forgotten in a day or two

Original poster

Funkymusic · 26/02/2016 22:10

Certainly not at home his dad my dp tells me i am beautiful everyday never ever anything negative said in terms of how any of us look.

Not sure if anything has been said at school.

I always tell him how beautiful he is everyday i feel awful and it seriously shocked me when he first said it just came from no where.

OP posts:

Original poster

Funkymusic · 26/02/2016 22:11

Amser he seems to be saying it more over past 2-3 week.

OP posts:

scarednoob · 26/02/2016 22:15

Poor you - god knows where kids get this stuff from. I think you should just carry on as normal, but make an effort to tell him that he has a lovely face and you like looking at it.

If it helps, my niece used to say things like this all the time, but now she's 10, she's forever referring to herself as "awesome" and "epic" - she grew out of it.

Only1scoop · 26/02/2016 22:17

Certainly wouldn't overthink it.

Dd started coming out with all kinds of strange stuff when she started school.

scarednoob · 26/02/2016 22:17

Sorry, I don't mean to imply that you don't normally make an effort to say nice things! I just meant carry on as normal, but when he says things like that, respond by explaining that you like his face etc.

TheoriginalLEM · 26/02/2016 22:46

Does it just freak him out seeing himself rather than not liking the way he looks? I find hearing my own voice really weird and i really don't like it. Im sure i have a perfectly fine voice though.

HeddaGarbled · 26/02/2016 23:06

I wonder whether you should all cut down on the beautiful stuff? Is he picking up some sort of obsession with being beautiful? I do like the PP's response "I like looking at you" but maybe use other positive comments unrelated to looks for a while.

Katenka · 27/02/2016 06:59

I wouldn't worry, but would keep an eye out and just monitor.

Ds sometimes goes through stages where he is 'rubbish at something'. Generally because someone else has said something at school. He usually gets over it with in a few weeks with some encouragement.

The last one was standing on one foot for a long time. He kick boxes, so it's something the older kids can do for a long time. He is the youngest at the class. It passed eventually.

Just keep doing as you do, maybe see if everything is ok at school.

ChalkHearts · 27/02/2016 07:14

I'm not sure hearing how beautiful your DH thinks you are, and you both think he is is good.

It's sending out the message you value beauty. Do you? Don't you think your DS is wonderful regardless of how he looks? Won't your husband still love you as your looks fade?

I'd stop talking about looks at all in your house.

Original poster

Funkymusic · 27/02/2016 07:46

Chalk please dont make me sound so self centred. I only mentioned that about my dp as an example that we never say anything negative towards each other.

Completely ridiculous to even question whether i think my son is wonderful regardless of how he looks! I dont care how my son looks hes perfect to me he his told how proud we are of him and how kind and loving he is.

As i have said before it has come out of no where and is a suprise as we deffinitely are not a family who focuses on looks.

Think i will speak to school if it continues.

OP posts:

OzzieFem · 27/02/2016 09:34

Perhaps some other child/ren have started bullying him by calling him names such as "Ugly Mug"? Does he go to reception?

ChalkHearts · 27/02/2016 10:29

Sorry. I didn't mean to say you were self centred. Just that 'you're so beautiful' is not a nice compliment to pay anyone at any age. Except in very special occasions when they've made a huge effort maybe. But as a daily way of your husband saying 'I love you' it's really sending out the wrong message.

I don't think you should talk about looks at all.

tallwivglasses · 27/02/2016 10:37

Really? I often tell my grandson he's beautiful, gorgeous, etc. Maybe I should stop

Katenka · 27/02/2016 10:51

Op on mn if a man never tells his wife she is beautiful, he is wrong. If tells her it, it's lie on not a compliment.

Same with kids. Either way you would be wrong.

You are doing nothing wrong.

fusionconfusion · 27/02/2016 10:55

I tell my children they are beautiful. They are. It had fuck all to do with looks.

I think flowers and mountains and the sea are beautiful, as I am sure do many others, and that has nothing to do with 'looks' either - the natural essence of the world is beauty.

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