neighbour been two faced

[ddeemummy]

Lived here nearly 4 years. Never had any problems with our joined on neighbours. A middle aged couple always nice to our face and they know our situation with our sn kids and theyve been understanding so far. We always appologise if weve had abad night or whatever. And fine

Today another neighbour has told me that theyve been cpmplaining about us, and that they are 1 step away from selling up. So i asked neighbour who told me this why have they never said anything and she said because they know you do your best

I actually thought kids had been a lot calmer recently and neighbours are nice as pie to us even gave my youngest a bday card with 2.00 in for her bday other week. And the guy is into his cars like my mr and always fiddling about under a bonnet together

Why cant people be honest. I will obviously have another word when see them im feeling quite upset that they cant be honest. I txt my husband and he said am i sure other neighbour is not just stirring but not sure why she would!

Wwyd?

Think I agree with your husband.

maybe your neighbour mentioned how she sometimes hears your dc and how hard it is for you, and then mentioned selling up in a different sentence.
the other woman as just put 2 an 2 together and shit stirring
everyone pisses someone off sometimes dont take it to heart

i woulnt confront the neighbour that could start a right load of shit
you accused the neighbour of being 2 faced
the neighbour says she never said it and the other womans lying
the other womans denies everything and says your over reacting
remember you have got to live near these people.
speaks from bitter experience

Really, you'd prefer they were on your doorstep complaining every time one of your dc was noisy ? They're just being terribly British, polite to your face and perhaps a little resigned behind the scenes. (Neighbour said your NDN recognises you're doing your best!)

No dont want them moaning all time at me but If we were bothering id rather know and not hear it off neighbours i ft so embarrased just hate the thought of gossiping

But if there's nothing you can do about the noise (and I assume, as does your NDN, that you do your best to minimise disruption), what would be the point in them complaining? Your NDN doesn't want you to feel bad, that's why she's not said anything directly to you.

You do sound very stressed, and I understand your dislike of gossip, but yabu about this.

How much support do you get with the dc?

YABU, they're not complaining to you because they know you are doing your best in difficult circumstances, what would it achieve? They are being nice. Would you really rather they be there complaining all the time and saying it was so bad they were going to move?

If they let off steam to another neighbour that is fine too. The one who told you they complained to her is being a bitch and stirring.

I agree with Hirples. They know you're doing your best and have acknowledged that and that there's likely nothing more you can do so no point in complaining to you. Noisy neighbours can be soul destroying so I can understand then wanting to move if it's that bad. Chances are that's not the only reason though, it's expensive to move house, it's likely to be an issue but not the only one. They obviously don't feel comfortable talking to you about it so I wouldn't confront them about it as that will make things worse. If you really can't do anything more about the noise then there's no point.