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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To be irritated by this Facebook post?

251 replies

MattDillonsPants · 24/02/2016 06:50

I think it's an actual poem but not certain....either way it's frigging stupid. We all, as adults have to take responsibility for ourselves. This post seems to suggest that being an eternal backpacker is a good idea!

I don't think so and I suspect it was written by someone in their late 20s who still has the energy to "bathe in bio-luminescence and lie in a dirt road staring at the moon"

FFS. Hmm

I will never be a well behaved woman.

I would rather pass my days lying in the middle of dirt roads, staring at the full moon with a bottle of summer red in my palms.

I would rather have kids when it suits me, not when society expects or throws shoulds.

I would rather live in a hammock on a beach for six months, and write like my soul means it.

I would rather be horribly broke at times, than married to a job because a mortgage payment has my ass on a hook.

I would rather own moments, than investments.

I would rather eat alone, than sit with women who bore me at 'Wives’ Night.”

I would rather swim naked with bioluminescence, have it fall like fireflies from my hair, my breasts, my back.

I would rather do handstands naked in the moonlight when no one’s watching than pick bridesmaid dresses.

I would rather drink seven year old rum from a sandy bottle, smell of smoke and ash than sit in church.

I would rather learn from life than rack up debt, in a desk.

I would rather drink the ocean, again and again—celebrate being madly alive.

I would rather my love be defined by love itself, and nothing more or less.

I don’t need a ring on my finger to prove that I am in love.

I would rather take the chicken bus, than spend useless money in safe gated communities. Sit beside a goat, listen to raggaeton and eat green mango with sugar in a plastic bag sold from the woman who harasses the bus each time it stops.

I do not need a degree to prove that I am intelligent.

I do not need to own a piece of earth with some wood on top of it—to feel successful. No one truly owns the land, anyway—we just think we do.

My savings account has diddly to do with my richness.
I would rather sprawl my single ass out like a lioness each morning and enjoy each corner of my empty bed.

I will take a job I love and freedom over a pension, any day.

I will not work and work and work to live when my body is old and I am tired.

Stocks are for people who get boners from money.

Not everyone should have kids, and my eggs aren’t expiring.

I will not drink the societal Kool-Aid on a bus, nor will I drink it on a train.
Not on a plane, with a goat, in the rain, in the dark, in a tree, with a fox, in a box!

I will not jump through societies’ hoops and red tape, the treasure hunt in the rat race we chase.

If we must have milestones—mine will be measured by how much joy I have collected at the end of each day and how often in this life I have truly, deeply, opened.

Seek, see, love, do.

OP posts:
Baboooshka · 24/02/2016 10:57

ONE person commented on her looks.

There is no 'outing' of her identity.

She has a website, two Facebook pages, a Twitter and an Instagram account. There are multiple examples of her poems there.

She charges for life-coaching and personal appearances.
When she guest-blogs, she charges $450 for 500-750w and $650 for 750-1250w.

I wouldn't give a crap about her lifestyle choices if she wasn't so snide about others': wives, desk-workers, people with pensions and mortgages. And the final insult is that it's probably these people's money she's accepting: not a lot of mango-sellers paying for guest-blogging and mentoring sessions.

TwatMagnet · 24/02/2016 10:57

You think HQ have nothing better to do what? If there's a post that offends you so badly then go ahead and report it but, and this is my opinion only of course, the current trend for precious snowflakes reporting every damned thing that tweaks their over-sensitive skin is going to be the downfall of MN. The reasonable moderation on this site is something that few can claim and people like you are going to ruin that.

RhodaBull · 24/02/2016 10:58

Grin Poor woman?! I think that would really mess with her zen if she thought that people were wringing their hands over her situation instead of envying it.

MetalMidget · 24/02/2016 10:59

Fucking hell, where to begin?

I will never be a well behaved woman.

That's... nice? Just don't go full Myra Hindley or Rose West, yeah?

I would rather pass my days lying in the middle of dirt roads, staring at the full moon with a bottle of summer red in my palms.

Ah, now you see, that just sounds impractical. It's all fun and games, lying in a dirt road, until you get run over by a farmer. Possibly because your judgement is impaired and reaction speed slowed because you're off your tits on wine.

I would rather have kids when it suits me, not when society expects or throws shoulds.

Newsflash: some people will judge you whether you have kids younger or older. If you stay at home, or work. If you have kids, or don't have kids. Society loves scowling at women and their reproductive choices, regardless of what they may be, because society is full of people with differing opinions.

I would rather live in a hammock on a beach for six months, and write like my soul means it.

Why only six months? Fucking lightweight! Go at least 12, enjoy the full glory of the seasons (including mosquitos and hurricanes, if somewhere tropical), get accused of being a vagrant, then we'll talk.

I would rather be horribly broke at times, than married to a job because a mortgage payment has my ass on a hook.

I'd rather be in a job that I love, and that pays well so that I can pay the mortgage, and still have money left over. Admittedly getting there occasionally meant I was stuck in jobs I disliked, AND was horribly broke (poor pay being one of the reasons for my dislike), but I'm pretty chuffed now.

Better than sponging off my parents until I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up (to put my judgey pants on, I'm not sure that 'beach dwelling vagrant that lies in the road drinking wine' is a viable long term goal. If your salary is a bit variable because you don't want to be married to a job, you may want to think about saving money for downtimes rather than spunking it on summer reds).

I would rather own moments, than investments.

Fair enough, money can't buy happiness, etc. But it can buy mountain bikes, and campervans, which lead to happiness.

I would rather eat alone, than sit with women who bore me at 'Wives’ Night.”

I'm sure the wives will be devastated.

I would rather swim naked with bioluminescence, have it fall like fireflies from my hair, my breasts, my back.

Just double check that you're not accidentally swimming in toxic waste or chemicals...

I would rather do handstands naked in the moonlight when no one’s watching than pick bridesmaid dresses.

Fucking hell, we get it, you value your own company, staring at the moon alone in a road with your bottle of summer red whilst doing handstands. I can't actually imagine you having any friends that would want you to be a bridesmaid.

I would rather drink seven year old rum from a sandy bottle, smell of smoke and ash than sit in church.

I would also prefer to be Jack Sparrow than go to church. You win this round.

I would rather learn from life than rack up debt, in a desk.

What... what does this even mean? The debt is in a desk? I think folks also learn from life living a 9-5 life - things like 'managing money' and 'interpersonal relationships: how to have friends, so that you're not a beach dwelling loner drinking wine, doing handstands and lying in the road. After eating alone.

I would rather drink the ocean, again and again—celebrate being madly alive.

You're not going to be alive much longer drinking saltwater, love.

I would rather my love be defined by love itself, and nothing more or less.

Er, OK.

I don’t need a ring on my finger to prove that I am in love.

No you don't. Nobody does. Well done.

I would rather take the chicken bus, than spend useless money in safe gated communities. Sit beside a goat, listen to raggaeton and eat green mango with sugar in a plastic bag sold from the woman who harasses the bus each time it stops.

Money's not useless. If it was, the mango seller wouldn't be desperately trying to sell her wares. Of course, if you've got enough money to fund travelling without working, you probably don't really have a proper concept of what 'horribly broke' is actually like. It's almost like you're an incredibly over-privileged numpty that looks on with envy at the communities in tropical destinations, ignoring the fact that they have to work hard every single day, and don't have the luxury of taking a six month beach sabbatical to write.

I do not need a degree to prove that I am intelligent.

No, you don't. 'Intelligence' isn't also a guarantee of common sense, it's worth noting...

I do not need to own a piece of earth with some wood on top of it—to feel successful. No one truly owns the land, anyway—we just think we do.

No, you don't. It is nice not to deal with fucking letting agents, though.

My savings account has diddly to do with my richness.

I'm quite impressed you have a savings account. It's almost like a concession to the 'normality' you despise. Except a lot of people who work long hours in jobs that they hate, just to put food on the table and a roof over their head, don't have enough left over to put into a savings account, never mind go fannying off on extended beach holidays.

I would rather sprawl my single ass out like a lioness each morning and enjoy each corner of my empty bed.

Lionesses are lions. Lions are THE MOST SOCIABLE OF ALL THE BIG CATS! They normally sleep in a big fucking pile. Seriously, of all the big cats you could have picked for your simile, you don't pick any of the numerous solitary species, but instead... the lioness. Lionesses, who are famous for their protectiveness of their young, fierce devotion to their pride, and who do the vast majority of the hunting to feed their families whilst the males laze about. Brilliant.

Also, do hammocks have corners?

I will take a job I love and freedom over a pension, any day.

I have a job I love, AND a pension! In your face! Let me know how your way is working for you when you hit your 60s (although I imagine you'll be buoyed up by a massive inheritance from mummy and daddy...)

I will not work and work and work to live when my body is old and I am tired.

I can see that you've really thought about this long term planning, with the lack of steady work, no pension and early retirement.

Stocks are for people who get boners from money.

Probably.

Not everyone should have kids, and my eggs aren’t expiring.

First bit is true. Second bit... oh dear, seems like somebody skipped biology. Have fun with the menopause!

^I will not drink the societal Kool-Aid on a bus, nor will I drink it on a train.
Not on a plane, with a goat, in the rain, in the dark, in a tree, with a fox, in a box!^

Wow, you're so edgy and cool. You'll still have sugared mango on the chicken bus though?

I will not jump through societies’ hoops and red tape, the treasure hunt in the rat race we chase.

I'm so very bored now. I only started this because I'm off work as the dog is ill, so can't be left alone, but clearing up the mess he left in the kitchen was actually less nauseating that this 'poem', or whatever it is...

If we must have milestones—mine will be measured by how much joy I have collected at the end of each day and how often in this life I have truly, deeply, opened.

I also include joy that I have given to others, in my milestones, because I'm not a sociopath.

Seek, see, love, do.

CAKE.

hmcAsWas · 24/02/2016 11:00

Good points Baboooshka

whatdoIget · 24/02/2016 11:01

Sorry about the downfall of mumsnet everyone! Apparently that's my fault Hmm

MySordidCakeSecret · 24/02/2016 11:03
  1. "drink the ocean" be my guest dear it's not going to be pleasant.
  1. what on earth is a chicken bus?
MattDillonsPants · 24/02/2016 11:03

Paul sorry I didn't mean to post as though I thought you were having a go....I didn't I was a bit short because I was so shocked people had reported the thread and spoken of "Outing" her.

She makes a bloody living from her persona....so she's hardly a shrinking violet and I'm POSITIVE that she won't give a bugger about this thread. She's not someone who seems backward in coming forward and can probably take a bit of a piss take.

OP posts:
TwatMagnet · 24/02/2016 11:05

Beautifully put Metal. If the free-spirited lioness hugging hippie reads only one post let it be yours.

whatdoIget · 24/02/2016 11:06

Ok fair enough! I accept I reported it without thinking it through and I've reported it again in order to say so. Fwiw I NEVER report anything and although I'm happy to admit I was wrong, I'm not going to be held responsible for the downfall of mumsnet ffs. Christ!

Elledouble · 24/02/2016 11:06

" would rather pass my days lying in the middle of dirt roads, staring at the full moon with a bottle of summer red in my palms."

That sounds like a mental health problem, not a life choice.

TheGreatSnafu · 24/02/2016 11:06

There's nothing personal there. It's all meaningless obfuscation

Yep.

hmcAsWas · 24/02/2016 11:07

Grin echoing that sentiment TwatMagnet. Metal - I enjoyed your commentary so much more than the original 'poem'

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 24/02/2016 11:07

I wouldn't give a crap about her lifestyle choices if she wasn't so snide about others

Yup. That about nails it for me.

She'd fall off her joss stick if she realised that some people can be actually happy in those crappy little lives she disses.

Why is she always drawing mean little comparisons? She puts others down an awful lot.

SJane45S · 24/02/2016 11:10

Raises imaginary big wine glass (as it's just a bit too early in the morning for a real one and I've got to pick kids up) to MetalMidget. Cake, always!

LittleLionMansMummy · 24/02/2016 11:10

Well I'm quite happy to be the non conformist on this thread by continuing to believe that the post linking to her instagram is not really in the spirit. I make no apologies for that, especially in the light of someone else having posted her a link to this thread. Very unkind.

Lilifer · 24/02/2016 11:11

MetalMidget your response to this "poem" made me laugh, thank you!Grin

startingmylifeagain · 24/02/2016 11:12

I like /agree with some of the sentiments expressed but some of it is so just like...Hmm

MattDillonsPants · 24/02/2016 11:14

LittleLion I'm sure....certain in fact that she will take the thread in the best possible way and consider it to be nothing more than extra attention which garners more followers. In her line of work that is everything. So don't fret about that.

OP posts:
TwatMagnet · 24/02/2016 11:14

Nobody has hacked her private diary ffs - she's putting this stuff out to as many people as she can reach. Well - now she's reached a few more and she'll be happy in a way that only someone who spouts that nonsense can be. One day, when she's all grown up, she might look back at her verbal enema and roll her eyes at the naivete of it all. Let's hope that we helped her on that road a bit.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 24/02/2016 11:14

drspouse yy I'd forgotten about the warm/hot juice - bleurgh!

what I'm sure MN will withstand a report about a thread. tbh I'm much more wtf about the fact someone linked the thread to the woman's instagram account. God knows what they hoped that would achieve.

I think I've been on MN too long. I was reading over the 'poem' again and stuck on the 'I don't need a ring on my finger to prove that I'm in love' and I just thought 'no but you do need a marriage certificate to have equal rights to the matrimonal home, etc, just pop down to the Relationships board and see how important that contract can end up being' . . .

. . . and now I hate myself for being so old and sensible rather than lying in the road drinking wine (naked or in a teeny bikini because that seems to be a prerequisite for this type of self-discovery).

JosephBrodsky · 24/02/2016 11:16

Let me say I'm totally in favour of getting shit-faced on rum in distant-places rather than angsting about the property ladder and the internal politics of the school run.

BUT this bio-luminescent guff about not being 'well-behaved' and evading society's Gradgrind-ish hoops was doctrinaire about five minutes after Kerouac finished On the Road, and had become a hilarious First World cliché by the time of gap years, The Beach, Shantaram, and the divinely self-indulgent Eat, Pray 'why, the world is full of exotic places full of cute little brown people just waiting to provide a picturesque opportunity for rich Americans to find themselves!' Love.

India is full of stripy-trousered First Worlder backpackers with the same tribal tattoos all clutching a copy of Lonely Planet, eating the same sodding mango, getting the same shits, and trying to get the same picturesque 'off the beaten track' temple in the background of an Instagram selfie.

It's enough to make you want to get a neat grey trouser suit, a short back and sides, and a copy of Mortgages for Dummies. Grin

hmcAsWas · 24/02/2016 11:17

I had originally baulked at the post linking to her Instagram LittleLion, but after some reflection I think its reasonable. She is highly judgemental about others' choices ...so in the spirit of 'if you can't take it, don't dish it'....

I don't know why we should be expected to tread so carefully for fear of offending her

MrsJorahMormont · 24/02/2016 11:19

My first thought was, 'And who's going to pay for your green mangos, you silly backpacker? Eh? Eh? Do you expect the rest of us to pay for your bloody mango?!'

Then I read that she has 20 gazillion sheeple followers on InstaTwit or similar and thought, 'Kudos, lady. Your 20 gazillion idiots followers will pay for your mango. Bon Appetit!'

Hygge · 24/02/2016 11:19

I hope she's not trying to make her living with her poetry, because that is crap.

And I hope she's not scrounging money of some poor family member she no doubt looks down on for having three kids and a mortgage, while at the same time expecting them to fund her lifestyle of getting pissed on old rum on the beach with a chicken.

We have one of these 'free spirits' in our family and he's fucking hard work. Borrows money as though he's doing you the favour by taking it, looks twenty years older than his real age because of his lifestyle. Causes a constant worry of who's going to knock on the door for him next, the police or his drug dealer. Has a chip on his shoulder a mile wide about how everyone else "gets it all on a plate" while at the same time looking down on the jobs they do to earn the money to buy the stuff he thinks come on that plate.

Give me the mortgage and shit job over that life of sleeping on other people's floors while resenting everybody else for their boring existence any day. Especially when you expect their boring existence to fund your nonsense because you're too good to life that kind of life yourself.

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