is this way too much for an 8 year old??

[hugsarealwaysneededhere1]

Son is learning guitar and vilion at school with some practise (not enough I'm sure) at home.
He goes to Cubs once a week
Fencing once a week.
Life Guarding once a week

At the weekend he has a swimming lesson and tennis.

He loves guitar, cubs and fencing. He is a good swimmer but now needs to stop lessons and either join the squad (train 3 times a week) or just swim once a week as part of a fun junior team. He would rather just play than swim seriously.

It all feels quite a lot! With homework too.......or is this just the norm??

[Moopsboopsmum]

I live in Asia, this level of extra curricular activity would be considered normal to low. How many languages is he learning? It's amazing how much some kids can do but you know your child best. If he is tired, cut down.

[Cressandra]

SanityClause I'd question the cause and effect there. Ice cream consumption is famously correlated to murder rates in the USA. It doesn't prove causality. Did he control for level of parental input, for example.

OP it does sound a lot, but I think it depends if he is thriving or tired, and if he has some unstructured time to himself. Does he need to do the lifeguarding AND fun swimming given he's already a strong swimmer? A lot will be dropping weekly swimming entirely at this stage.

My DC have fewer different things but one does several hours a week of one sport. She is fine, but only because we don't let her do too much else on top of that.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

My 8yo has dancing 2 nights a week (M, Th), tae kwondo 1 or 2 nights a week depending on how he feels (Tu, Th), swimming lesson for half an hour after school (W) and soon football will enter the lists (but swimming will go at about the same time), which will be one night a week training and then matches on Sat and/or Sun.

Last year he was learning guitar at school, but that was in lunchbreak so didn't cut into his after school time - not sure if he's going to be able to do that this year as the teacher has left and they haven't worked out a replacement yet.

DH wants him to do tennis with him on a Friday, not for long; and we've talked about Cubs, but fitting it in would be hard.

It doesn't seem to be too much for Ds1, he is fine with it - but I wouldn't want to overload him with any more stuff at this stage. He's worked up to this level of activity since he was 3, so maybe that helps?

[Inkymess]

My DC2 plays fantastically alone for hours in their own world...liking some activities but isn't that fussed. They both do swimming (until can swim well) and gym as good for all children. DC1 however hounds me to also do beavers and sport every day and can't get enough of organised coaching. DC1 has always been awful at self entertaining.... Different kids..

[Ness1234]

If he's happy and you can afford it, why not?

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

I did loads of activities as a child. And I loved them.

Brownies / Guldes / Rangers, 4 sports at very high level competitive, about 4 other sports recreationally, 2 musical instruments (badly), ballet (badly), Gang Show, an extra language to GCSE after school.

Not all at the same time but between the ages of 6 - 18.

My dad says that I was a child who if I saw a bar I wanted to jump over it. Can't imagine spending my days just "being". I like "doing".

Dd is not yet 6 and already does 5 activities. (We didn't mean it to happen but she got to the top of several very long waiting lists all at the same time.) It's too much for such a little girl - she and I both agree this - especially as she's in after school club 2 days a week as I work. But she can't choose any that she wants to give up. She loves them all.

And she really really wants to learn to play the violin! (Not going to happen!)

[SingingSamosa]

My DD is 8 and she currently does judo once a week, swimming lessons outside school once a week, and once a week in school, Brownies and horse riding. She has also been playing violin for about a year and a half, with associated ensembles/workshops/concerts/practice. She enjoys all of her activities but they are all done during the week so she has proper 'down' time at the weekend where she does almost nothing except read or play outside.
DD2 (6) does judo x 1, swimmming x 1, horse riding and keyboard (but no ensembles etc as there aren't any local ones that keyboard players can join). She wants to do Brownies when she turns 7 but I think she'll find it a struggle to cope. She needs lots more sleep than DD1 and more downtime. I'm not sure what I'll do when the time comes as she won't want to drop any of the other activities!

I think if your DS is enjoying all of his activities, and it's not affecting his health in terms of tiredness/not enough relaxing etc then let him carry on!

[LilacAndLovely]

It sounds like a lot to me.

Ds1 is 8. He has choir after school on a Monday, football training on a Wednesday evening and a match on a Saturday and dance class on a Sunday. He has a musical instrument and usually practices for a few minutes a day but that's fairly simple to fit in.

We have 4 clear evenings a week though (I don't 'count' choir, it's just 30 minutes late school pick up). We do stuff after school...swimming or climbing (local climbing wall) for instance. But I don't want too much structure, kids need time to learn to play alone too.

[MrSlant]

FlatOnTheHill to be fair I started instruments at that age and followed them through to the top level, it was something that I really loved being allowed to do at that age. It may fall flat for the OP's son or it may not but at least she is giving her child the opportunity. I have one child who tried at that age, quit and has never touched an instrument again. One who played through primary and now is getting a real interest as a teen and my youngest who is showing a real skill for it at 8. I remember feeling really privileged to be having a go at that age. They are all different.

God, parenting is a hard job, we don't know what we do that will be for the best, what is too much, what is too little. I know I wlll be blamed for something by one of them for trying my best to accommodate everything. Possibly for the moments where I go 'Oh FFS, I'm trying to do my best'

[Verbena37]

My 11 yr old DS does 45 mins of karate on a Saturday morning.
That's it.
He plays at the park when it's nice and anymore than that and he can't cope.
He likes his own time to chill after a day at school.
He has HF ASD so that's the reason but it feels right for him.
He used to have swimming lessons but can swim well enough to save himself and so now we're just going to swim as a family.

Only you will know what your son can cope with. That amount might be fine for some children but overload for another. It sounds a lot for any 8 yr old to me. When does he get down time?

[DiscoGlitter]

I have an 8 year old, and yes, that is a heck of a lot! With a full day of school as well, and you say homework too, when does he ever get the time to just sit and chill, and just "be?"
I think it's important to have an activitiy or two out of school but you need down time too so he can just play by himself, amuse himself without being micro managed all the time!
Mine has Cubs once a week, and swimming lesson.
That's enough in my opinion. Outside activities, time to fit the homework in, and time to just relax and enjoy childhood.

[DistanceCall]

I'd check with him whether he'd like to drop violin and swimming. It does sound too much. I think children should be given unstructured free time. Woolgathering is important!

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I agree with that, mrSlant!
I work on the principle that if we can afford it, financially and timewise, then I'd rather offer DSs whatever is available and allow them to decide what they want to keep and what to drop.
Before Ds1 did football as it is now, he did Little Athletics on a Friday eve (but that was with a specific aim in mind, to improve his running - get him running in a straight line, and hopefully a bit faster. Got the straight line but no speed increase); and he also did Little Kickers on a Saturday morning, but that was only an hour, and there were no real matches apart from within the hour's session. When he switched to playing football for the local U8 team, Little Athletics was dropped (and Little Kickers stopped perforce at 7).

Every year when re-enrolment comes up I ask him if he wants to continue with everything. Every year he says Yes. If he said halfway through a year that he was fed up with X, we'd have a couple of weeks thinking it over, and then if he was sure, I'd let him drop it.

Opportunities don't always come by again, so I like to make the most of them early on, so the boys get a feel for what they like/ are good at.

DS2 also does dancing 2 nights a week, but that's just because of the way the classes are staggered (and because he's 3 and he couldn't do 3 in one night). He does Little Kickers 1 day a week now too; and will start swimming in September, just as he turns 4. He won't need Little Athletics unless he wants to do it because he can run just fine; but he really wants to start tae kwondo with DS1 and DH, he's just too young now, so when he's old enough he'll start (if he still wants to by then).

[OneMillionScovilles]

If you want music lessons to be worth the money, he should really be practising for an absolute minimum of 30 mins a day (per instrument), preferably nearer an hour. Ten minutes doesn't give you any chance to identify and go over problem areas to improve them - it's basically once through a couple of pieces - and you say you aren't even managing that. I'd save the money and spend it on a hobby he doesn't have to 'bring home' with him if you can't find practice time.

[BertrandRussell]

I couldn't disagree more with the line that music lessons are a waste of time unless you practice. If the child really enjoys the instrument (and there is no use playing it if they don't) then they will play when they feel like it and have the time. Sometimes mine wouldn't play for a week-sometimes they would play for a couple of hours. The big difference between mine most of their friends is that they are still playing and enjoying their instruments at 20 and 15. I never insisted on practice, they chose to learn and chose their instruments and I provided the lessons. After that it was entirely up to them.

[coffeeisnectar]

My dd is 10 so a bit older but...

Monday is sea rangers and in the summer months will be out kayaking in the sea
Tuesday's are free
Weds is netball (after school club)
Thursday she has a 30 minute swimming lesson (which she loves)
Friday is cross country running (after school club)
Saturday is free
Sunday is lifeguard training (1 hour first aid and 1 hour in the pool)

On the free days she's out playing. I am seriously suspecting she has some sort of secret energy store as if she's not busy she's bouncing. My conservatory is full of cardboard box contraptions she's making. She never sits still.

[Sometimesithinkimbonkers]

Mine do little.... DD4 does ballet once a week and DS 8 goes to youth club. Ds6 is disabled and takes up much of our time. My DC are very active though and the 4&8 YO play lots of imaginative play together and DS8 plays in the close with friends.
Home from school for 4 then dinner, homework, dads home so play for an hour then bedtime routine begins.
Where is the time? DS8 also plays rugby after school on the summer.
Sometimes I feel bad but DS6 cannot handle going out again after he gets home from School.

[JoandMax]

It must be a constant juggle for who needs to be where and at what time!!

DS1 is 7.5 and he does football twice a week, DS2 is 6 and does football and Taekwondo - they both do their classes at same time and same place so no hanging around for the other one.

They both do swimming at school but we swim 2/3 times a week ourselves (not in UK) although it's mostly jumping in and tricks!

I would just worry that being on the go so much when do you have time together? Or time with their siblings? Just to play Lego and make up silly stories about dinosaurs or go to the park for a runaround? It seems so much structure and routine.......

[my2bundles]

Wth the music, my own child s learning 2 instruments. To me music must be a passion, if practise is forced then it's not working. My son loves to play and learn but I never enforce practise as that sucks the fun and creativity right out of it. He practises when he wants which normally works out to 3 times a week for 30 minutes. My son loves it, has a talent but I'm not forcing levels or exams, for now it's for his enjoyment, levels etc can cone when he is older if he chooses. He us 8 at the moment. There us nothing wrong wth learning an nstrument just for the enjoyment of it, there dosent need to be a goal to reach, n fact I've found that it's these children who get fed up and give up, real passion at this age can lead to life long enjoyment so I don't want to risk taking that away with pressure. What Im trying to say us if your des nt have that enjoyment and real passion and needs enforced practise then kearning is doing more harm than good.

[my2bundles]

Completely agree burtandrussel.

[Flufflepuff]

In terms of "more extra curricular activities = higher academic achievement', I doubt that's an actual correlation.

Sure, clubs will help build up skills and friends, and probably an exhausted kid sleeps better than one sitting down all the time - but probably the more extra-curricular activities a kid manages, the wealthier and more importantly involved their parents are - which are both better predicators of success than how many clubs a kid goes to...

[Buckinbronco]

lizkeen are you me?! I didn't do much either and was able to give it up whenever I fancied. My parents also never came to see how it was progressing or made sure it was useful or worthwhile (ie Iearned violin for a year with a crap, disinterested teacher and parents found it amusing I never got any better)

I also hid myself round the house in books. It took a long time as an adult for me to train myself to DO things rather than retire to bed with a book all the time. I used to have little dedication to anything and still have to commit myself to things to achieve anything. There are so many valuable lessons from classes.
I can't wait until DC are old enough to start and I plan to use them as after school child care anyway (work FT)

[Buckinbronco]

Also generally the more you do the more energy you have to do more. I find people who don't do much can't cope with doing much, it's a bit of a cycle. I used to come home every evening and nap. My parents probably thought i was tired- but I was just bored.

[Nataleejah]

Practice music for whole 10 minutes every day? And you can't manage? You must be joking. People who take music seriously practice for hours.