is this way too much for an 8 year old??

[hugsarealwaysneededhere1]

Son is learning guitar and vilion at school with some practise (not enough I'm sure) at home.
He goes to Cubs once a week
Fencing once a week.
Life Guarding once a week

At the weekend he has a swimming lesson and tennis.

He loves guitar, cubs and fencing. He is a good swimmer but now needs to stop lessons and either join the squad (train 3 times a week) or just swim once a week as part of a fun junior team. He would rather just play than swim seriously.

It all feels quite a lot! With homework too.......or is this just the norm??

[SanityClause]

The head of the school two of my DC go to did an experiment, where he gave every pupil a point for each co-curricular activity they did.

The students with most points also tended to be the ones with the highest exam scores.

So, rather than detracting from school work, co-curricular activities seem to help it.

[BertrandRussell]

What does he want to do?

[MegBusset]

DS1 is nine tomorrow and does karate, swimming, piano lessons and French club at school, and I think that's verging on too much! He will only do swimming until he can swim 100m or so then I will be relieved happy for him to drop that. I think one sport, one language, one instrument is more than enough.

[thefutureisOrange]

My DS just does one instrument (brass), Cubs, and swimming (one lesson). It is a lot less, but I have two other DC and also work full time so the logistics have to be shared out.
I wouldn't worry that he doesn't have enough to do....
But if it's too much, drop one instrument as they often don't practice two.

[BeaufortBelle]

It was fine for my ds who didn't need much sleep - ever. At about ten though he had to chose between sport and music because the commitment required for each individually became so substantial.

But they are all different. DD didn't really get into anything at primary level. Then she took up flute again at 12ish because she wanted to and singing at 13 ish. Now doing grade 8.

They differ. Go with the flow and have fun too.

[titchy]

Agree drop one of the music lessons. No point if he won't practice. Not sure what the point of life saving for an 8 year old is either - he's not going to be able to be a life guard for years yet.

You said he enjoys guitar, fencing and Cubs. That's your answer isn't it? Drop the rest but by bit.

Once he's at secondary he'll have a longer day and much more homework, so you'll have to cull by then certainly. Oh and he'll probably want to see friends, play Xbox too!

[DentistWimp]

I thought that we were the exception and that DS (age 8) didn't do anything, but thinking about it he does DT club, swimming, computer club, drum lessons and piano lessons each week. He also used to do cubs but we dropped that last year. We don't do anything at the weekend as we like to have family days out visiting stately homes. we do, actually

[Husbanddoestheironing]

Mine do loads but mostly for fun, and all because despite our misgivings about filling their evenings up (and the taxi-ing for us) they begged to have a go, and mostly kept with it all. Mostly these are not serious competition-type activities, except maybe DS1's football, which we are relaxed about but he takes very seriously. we have discussed learning instruments and DH and I were happy to try, but sat and discussed with DCs that as well as lessons we would expect 3 lots of 15 min practice a week as minimum, so where would they fit it in and would they want to e.g. cut karate to once a week to accommodate it? They decided not at the moment. I'm happier that they are leaping around doing things with friends than sat at home. So it works for us, but one sign it was becoming too much and I would have no hesitation in changing it.

[hugsarealwaysneededhere1]

Thanks averyone.......i'm tempted to drop an instrument BUT that will be his decision.
SanityClause thats fascinating!! I wonder if thats true outside of your school?

[Twinklestein]

Why not stop the stuff at the weekend? Surely he'll get swimming and tennis in school?

10 mins a day music practice isn't enough to learn anything. If you're not even practicing daily he might as well give up.

When my kids were 8 they were doing 2 instruments 30 mins on each. I did the same at that age.

[aleC4]

I think you have to take your lead from the child a bit.
Mine have gone through phases of doing loads and not much.
Ds (11) is now concentrating on rugby with either training 3 training sessions a week or 2 training and a match. I do worry about his fitness levels in the summer though. He only does 1 after school club, Film Club. He has learnt to swim, tried the violin and hated it and loved Cubs but didn't fancy moving to Scouts.
Dd (8) is gymnastics mad and trains 3 x a week which is 6 hours at the moment. She has just had to give up Brownies to do an extra gym training session. She does every club at school that she can fit in which is currently dance, running and girls football. She too can swim so no longer has lessons.

[NewLife4Me]

It's not that it's too much because some children thrive on lots of activities but you can't do everything.
To progress with anything you need to practice whether dancing, music, swimming and as you progress more commitment is required, like you found with the swimming. Obviously, this is the time when choices have to be made, for my dd it was when she was 9.
You can't be in two places at the same time, and clashes will be inevitable.

Maybe ask him to drop something to progress with something else.

[Twinklestein]

Xpost - if he wants to carry on with the instrument then he needs to do more practice. Otherwise there's really no point paying for lessons.

[pilpiloni]

I'd cut back on one of the instruments if you're not managing to practice. Lessons without practice are a waste of money.

[FlatOnTheHill]

That is rather a lot. Its a lot for you as well. I would knock off weekend clubs.
The week days are more than enough. You must be constantly looking at the clock and getting ready to go to the next activity. I personally think weekends should be chilled and family time to do stuff as and when

[StarUtopia]

I have a bit of a theory. Some parents love to spend money sending their children to different activities, here there and everywhere. Child is 'occupied' and doing something 'valuable'. Parent feels like their child is achieving. Something to put on FB? (Here's little Joe with another trophy etc etc)

How's about just letting them be? Using their imagination and playing? Being a bit (dare we say it) bored?

I did brownies, piano and swimming as a child. That was it. The rest of the time was all mine and my god, did I love it. Two of my most favourite memories? 1. Emptying my mother's junk drawer in the kitchen and sorting through it whilst chatting to my mum about her childhood. 2. Making from scratch cardboard 'doll's which I then decorated and built an entire story around.

Kids today aren't given enough free time imo. They're shattered after a full day at school, afterschool club and then driven around to different things every night of the week. However, I will definitely be in the minority to think it's ridiculous as most modern parents think this is the norm. Sad really.

[MrSlant]

I think it totally depends on the child. I have three and if the youngest doesn't have an after school sport he is unbearable but I'm currently holding back on going for ADHD diagnosis (runs in the family so we know the signs but school manage him well so there seems no need to make it formal). He loves the activity and the opportunity to have friends away from school. Sometimes he gets run down and we just force let him have a week off but everyone suffers! For his instrument practice I often hold up the music as he is getting ready to leave for an activity and he plays through that weeks piece once or twice and we are off. Practice only needs to be little and often at that age. If he is happy why not? We won't be doing 'squad' for swimming if and when he gets there because for us it is a skill to be learned not a serious sport. The other DC do slightly less than him because that covers what they are interested in and no longer need to be run around to wear them out

Is he happy and healthy and interested and can you cope with this level? If so why not give him lots of opportunities. If either one of you are flagging then re-examine your routine.

[nonicknameseemsavailable]

hard to tell, I think it is very child dependent.

my yr3 DD does 4hrs of dancing a week (in 3 different sessions, 4 different dance styles), 1hr of drama and plays a musical instrument (music lesson in school time). She doesn't practice the instrument much at all, sometimes practices dancing if there is something she needs to work on, sometimes just for fun and she is lucky and manages to learn her drama stuff in a matter of minutes so we do minimal practice there too.

not much homework - only at weekends and reading during the week.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

seems fine to me, mine did similar - no music lessons so no practice, but more general activities. They have usually had one evening and one day at the weekend completely free.

[PandasRock]

It depends on the child.

At eight, I was learning 2 instruments, and doing ballet/dance 6 days a week outside school.

My dd2 is (just) 9. She is learning 2 instruments, in 2 different choirs at school, does ballet, Italian club, recorder club, extra curricular drama lessons (plus school club) and competes in a sport to national level. She wouldn't have it any other way, but we will be having discussions as she moves towards year 5. She is (more than) keeping up at school, and would not be as happy 'just being'. She has ASD and finds it difficult to have unstructured time, so being busy suits her.

[MrSlant]

Can I just say that I love that StarUtopia and I have very different attitudes . I think this is where it depends on the child, mine just doesn't have the sorting through a junk drawer gene, he would be bored within minutes and cause chaos somewhere, I do try this sort of thing but he just doesn't have the knack, not through want of me trying! I would love to potter with him and stay indoors a bit more. I was definitely the sort of child who would adore to catalogue a shelf of my books before making elaborate scenarios for my toys to be involved in and I miss that for my child.

[StompyFreckles]

I have an 8 year old. He learns the violin and guitar too...but he does practise daily (at least half an hour a day violin, 20 mins 5 times a week guitar). He goes to football twice a week and orchestra. It is quite a lot, but I try to manage chilling out time, homework and music practise carefully for him and his siblings.

[dodobookends]

I'd drop the violin and tennis, and cut back on swimming to just the fun team thing. Then he'll have more energy and time to put into the things he likes best.

He's only 8 - at this age the activities he enjoys the most are the way to go, maybe?

[LizKeen]

My mother must have had the same theory as you StarUtopia because as a child I did sweet FA. I learnt to swim, and that was it. And when I started to give up on myself and have a crisis of confidence she just let me give it up.

I really really resent her for it. I spent my childhood alone and bored. Stuck my head in books because it was the only thing available. As an adult I feel I lack a multitude of skills already mentioned on this thread...determination and seeing things through, commitment etc. Most of all I wonder if my social anxiety would be as bad if I had been given more opportunities to mix with other people with common interests.

DD1 does swimming, drama and horse riding. I don't think she will keep up the horse riding, but she is already talking about the school clubs that will be available to her next year at school that she is currently too young for. Do I celebrate her achievements? Of course I bloody do. If that makes me look like a fool then so be it. I will happily throw money at anything my kids want to do, so that they know I believe in them.

[FlatOnTheHill]

Also why learn all these instruments. When they reach teenage years that will no doubt all go out the window. I cant see the point to be honest.