is this way too much for an 8 year old??

[hugsarealwaysneededhere1]

Son is learning guitar and vilion at school with some practise (not enough I'm sure) at home.
He goes to Cubs once a week
Fencing once a week.
Life Guarding once a week

At the weekend he has a swimming lesson and tennis.

He loves guitar, cubs and fencing. He is a good swimmer but now needs to stop lessons and either join the squad (train 3 times a week) or just swim once a week as part of a fun junior team. He would rather just play than swim seriously.

It all feels quite a lot! With homework too.......or is this just the norm??

[TrippleBlessed]

Thank you Keep and Mad for explaining that so well. Apologies about the 'shipped off' (wrong choice of words). Dh feels the 3 different activities that ds1 attends at the moment is too much for all of us and that it reduces the precious time that we want to spend together on the weekends and so sometimes I feel we're just shipping him off to different activities. Ds1 likes them though...

[Keeptrudging]

Fair enough. DD used to do an activity on Sundays. She gave it up so we had one clear day at weekends for family time. She also has 2 totally free days through the week. It's a balance which works for her. Saturdays are full, but this means her DSDs get time with DH by themselves so it works for us.

[Keeptrudging]

DSSs - getting abbreviations mixed up!

[madwomanbackintheattic]

Well, for a period we decided that none of them would do activities on a Friday night, because we (the parents) wanted one night off taxiing. But now the one activity ds wants to do is on a Friday night. frankly I am so relieved he wants to socialize and leave his bedroom, the Friday rule is long gone. If the one activity they really want to do is on a Saturday/ Sunday, then the family (including the child) get a free real life lesson about compromise and thinking of other people, whatever decision they ultimately reach. All part of life's rich pattern.

It was much easier when they were 6 and we could say 'no, sorry, on Saturdays the grown-ups get to choose' and dress it up as spending quality time together...

[Maples36]

My son is now 27 and I am so thankful that I ferried him back and forth from golf clubs every weekend and all through the holidays, sometimes with him playing 36 holes a day. He has a handicap of about 4 and it is this skill which has helped him to climb the ladder through networking with the top people in his career as a broker in the City. This was all motivated by him, not me, by the way. My advice is find something that your child really wants to do and stick to that one thing so that they can get really good at it. Success in something non academic then reacts back onto their academic work through the confidence that it gives them to overcome their own hurdles. My son (who is dyslexic) ended up with a First in Economics from Exeter.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

I do love that my teens still want to get involved and do stuff but the ferrying about that I've been doing virtually every night and a lot of weekends does take it's toll. You only really realise it when you have an evening off. DS1 pulled a muscle in his leg rowing on Sunday so had to cry off doing a night hike with the Scouts last night since he has his Duke of Edinburgh training at the weekend and didn't want to aggravate the injury. It meant no ferrying and I did a mental yippee......then realised that I still needed to go and do the weekly grocery shop as I couldn't do it on Monday as we'd had to go to a meeting about a summer camp. :( I've worked out that I haven't has a day (including weekends) when I haven't had to be out at something child related (not including ferrying to school and back every day) since February 13th and my next one is 17th March! We usually get Thursdays and most Saturdays free, but Thursday is prime day for parents night/meetings and we have a lot of subject selection at school stuff at the moment. Next weekend we had a clash of 4 different things the boys were meant to be doing which was clearly impossible for them as well as us. I should add that DH and I both work full time. DH does shifts and drives for a living so isn't always available to help and I don't always like him going out driving again when he has been doing it all day.

[FrenchJunebug]

that seems a lot to me. What does a kid get to be just a kid?! Also how do you fit it all in?!

[FrenchJunebug]

I meant WHEN does a kid get to be just a kid.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

As pointed out above, most activities only last about an hour at a time (more as they get older) so even a few doesn't take that many hours out the week until/unless they become very successful at one particular thing, then the hours go up but they tend to drop other stuff. Mine tried everything and anything when they were young. Some days they did two different activities on the same day! They were never overtired and never asked to miss a week but if the wanted to drop it completely, that was fine but generally they dropped it in order to do something else.

My DS1 is 15. He does his own Scouts, he volunteers at Scouts for the younger children, he is doing Badminton and as part of his DofE is also studying money management. In addition he goes to computer coding and has recently taken up Rowing. Scouting is the biggest time commitment as it involves camps and other activities at the weekends too. He also has his exams coming up and yet still spends way too much time playing computer games.

Ds2 is 14, he also does Scouts plus volunteering at scouts and Badminton and Life Guard training and DofE. Doesn't have much homework yet and spends way way too much time on computer games.

Our problem is that most of these things require transportation to and from although once the lighter nights are with us there are a few bits that they can cycle to.

[Keeptrudging]

I try to combine activities with other things. Drop off, go visit mother/friend/do shopping. When I'm working, I take work and do it in the cafe/viewing area. I find that I get a lot done when there's nothing else I can be doing/no Internet!

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Yup, been there done that keep. It's the fact that I put my boots on at half 7 in the morning and it's usually near 10 most nights before I can take them off. I may only be out sometimes for 15 minutes or more if I pick up bread and milk etc when out but it's knowing that you have to head out again all that time that just becomes a bit wearing sometimes. Would never stop them doing the stuff they enjoy though and they'll be adults and driving themselves about soon enough - I'll have plenty of years to rest and miss the fact that I'm not so busy :o

[Keeptrudging]

Yes, it's great when there's a cancelled class, or we get snowed in . One of her activities stops for summer term, it's lovely being able to have a lazy Saturday morning.

[OneMagnumisneverenough]

Yes keep :o I might still be working during school holidays but it's a treat not doing the school run, not making packed lunches and having no activities - that's a holiday in itself.

There just seems to be so much on at the moment I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself.

[BobbyGentry]

Norm...

3 after school clubs & an activity at the weekends.

Tutor?

I knew a Year Four kid who would play tennis at the weekend & then practice A'level Maths papers with his dad for fun (no joke) but that's Asian Tiger parenting for you; kids are our (your) future ☺️