talking about diets at work - AIBU?

[nevereverever83]

Long time lurker here... bit of a weird one to start posting with!!

On fb last night a girl i used to work with for a bit a few years ago posted a blog she wrote about her eating disorder basically saying that everyone talking about their diets at work (at lots of jobs, not just with me) made her bulemic, or made her bulemia/anorexia worse. I have noticed this does seem to happen a lot at work (talking about diets and weight loss i mean) especially where there are lots of women like in admin or receptionists and things like that and it makes me sad to think that she or other girls might be making themselves worse because they don't like hearing about others people's diets, but i'm sort of on the fence about it. I'm quite overweight (about a size 14-16) and it's not like i'm greedy or anything but i've just gradually put on a few pounds every year since getting married and never really lost them. I've been on WW and SW and a few other diets and since some of the other girls at work are also trying to loose weight we do talk about it sometimes, and i actually find it really supportive and helpful to know that we can compare notes and recipes and diets and things like that, and it helps me. So my x colleagues suggestion (which i know whasn't just aimed at me) that basically we're making her bulemic kind of annoyes me... but i also do feel sorry for her. So really i'm wondering if IABU or if she is BU or maybe neither or both? What are yout thoughts on diet chat and body size/weight talk at work?

I was in an office with 4 dieters once. I say once, it was for months. They did syns and counted every bite in the damn things. It was more tedious than a phone book reading and everybody thought them airheads a month into the diet.

I fantasised about taping them to their chairs and force feeding them 3 pounds of chocolate each, counting out the syns.

When I did slimming World 18 years ago, syns were spelt sins. Nothing to do with synergy then..

They can't have counted out every bite in syns because the vast majority of foods don't have any 'syns.'

Oh your 'friend's' blog eh?

She sounds like an intelligent person who was stuck in a series of wrong jobs. I think neither of you are being unreasonable because you both have valid, but entirely different points of view. I do think her office was wrong to expect her to have lunch with the team. I hope she is happier doing her PhD.

Even their diet yoghurt had syns, almondpudding. Aaargh, they infected me, I am now talking syns.

Happily never had to put with this. I've mainly worked in mostly male environments, and when I did work somewhere more evenly balanced, people had more interesting things to talk about. I hope most women are the same as the ones I worked with.

I think that's the main issue. Not so much get a grip as get a life!!

as always - having to diet more than once is telling you something. Listen.

So the women in your office were on a diet where they are no fruit, veg, pulses, rice, pasta, meat, eggs, potatoes ?

They basically just ate what, sugar laden yogurts?

I have never experienced this in 17 years of work. Lots of women there too. Just got much more interesting shit to talk about. Like just about anything.

People can talk about whatever they want and if enough people find talking about diets interesting then talk about diets will happen.

But I have to agree that it's so boring! I'm just not into it at all. I guess it's no more boring though than people droning on about holidays or their hobbies or TV shows that I've never watched. So drone on about cabbage soup or cottage cheese or whatever the current fad is but don't ask for my input.

They ate all sorts which I have no issue with. Being informed about all the syns in their (and my!) food was what made me move office after a while.

It's a free world and not up to me to police others' conversations. Having said that, I hate talk about diet in the office. It's tedious and also, let's be honest, has an insidious impact on other women sitting around. But then I also am an ex-anorexic, so maybe just projecting my psychological issues onto others - but yes, very unhelpful to me personally.

YANB particularly U to want to talk about it I suppose, but I agree with previous posters that it's painfully boring to listen to. I used to work in a very female-heavy environment, and the diet talk was so, so utterly boring. So I agree that you (not specifically you, OP, just a general 'you') shouldn't incessantly bang on about it, for no other reason than that it's crap for everyone else to listen to.

I think people who have this warped attitude to food, with syns and all that, have a mild sort of eating disorder themselves and are obviously not positioning themselves as role models for more vulnerable people. I also don't think anyone in a casual colleague role can be held responsible for the sensitivities of others, it is her issue and she could have changed the topic instead of joining in and ramping it up.

Strangely, having worked mainly in public health where a number of people actually work on reducing obesity, I have never come across this at lunchtimes.

Well it's not your fault that she has an eating disorder so YANBU.

Im not a fan though of this constant 'diet' obsessive chat either though.

It's boring as fuck, and does annoy me when I hear people talking utter rot about nutrition/ diet based on whichever yoyo fad they're currently on.

However it's also their right to discuss boring and often factually incorrect diets. Exception would be if they actually know a colleague has an eating disorder, in which case it's insensitive.

It's tedious as shit to work with the diet crew. The SW and WW participants go to weekly groups and have Facebook groups where they can natter on about syns or points. No need to constantly bore everyone around you by chatting about creative things to do with muller lights. And I say this as a SW member!

However, part of recovery means that you have to go into the world and learn to cope with these things. It's hard, but even if you're not in an office environment you'll be constantly bombarded with diet chat. It's not really a subject you can avoid forever.

There are so many people around with very odd and sometimes difficult relationships with food. It would be so very refreshing to have a lunchtime debate on how to relate to food more healthily, rather than just as something else that needs controlling, counting or judging.

Heads up OP. Bloggers can see where their readers are being directed from. She will be linked to this thread.

IME it's not just talking about diets. It's looking at me sideways whilst I eat cake and saying "oh well I suppose with that figure you nan get away with". It's commenting every time I eat that I'm eating again. It's referring to being "naughty" when they eat a fucking biscuit. I lost weight in one job (I don't need to) because there was a comment every time I ate. Until I thought "fuck the lot of you, piss off." I can imagine if I had less confidence, the effect could have been worse.

"Can get away with it"
I need to take my contacts out.

Just to make you aware OP, the main workplace she refers to is very identifiable from her clues, in case you are concerned about being "outed".

I think we talk about food quite a bit at work, probably every day. I'm the lone woman working with 12 men, I'm currently following WW and they ask me for tips and advice all the time. We're not harming anyone and we enjoy it

Coworkers talking lots about diets would get on my nerves.
Colleague blaming her ED on workplace chitchat about diets would get on my nerves.
Can't get over an ED unless you take responsibility for it.
Speaking as ex-bulemic.