Well of course I am cocking well not but...

[IamTheSlayerofCakes]

NC (does chicken noises)
I am laughing about this by the way.

History:
I have a school friend who I have known through the DC for about 2 years now- very friendly, lots of sleepovers with the kids/camping/going out for dinner.
They all had been hit by the flu bug a couple of weeks ago and as I would ask for any friend I offered help. I was thinking I could make some soup of bread for them, run some errands etc.

"Yes actually you could help"
Pause
"Can XXXX (Dh's name) come and tile our utility room? "We're all so ill we're not able to manage it"

Well I wasn't sure how to answer that so did the usual "he will come out and give you a quote when you're feeling better" was met with her hanging up on me.

The woman has not spoken to me since.

Cheeky, much?

Micah yes he's exceptional!
Ummmmm no to others trades people but yes to van man, the lady with stables and the ones who owned a business in town.

(Pennies dropping everywhere?)

Thank you - I have laughed at your posts. Brilliant. (Kissy Hun face)

Hahhaha. That's so funny

How bizarre that tiling a room was the first thing that sprung to her mind when you offered help to a flu ridden house

What happened with the lady with the stables?

Well I think you were being unreasonable. Surely you could have nipped round and put a new roof on her house or something?

After all, she had flu.

No clue with stable lady. All I know is about 18 months ago my FB feed had copious photos of her dc there and horse riding and then they stopped. They are still friends but not in the same way. We didn't have that kind of friend currency it would seem

You really dodged a bullet there.

That is so funny!

But it's a bit sad too - was her friendship fake whilst she waited to use you?

It sounds as though she might not exactly be using people but doesn't understand the normal boundaries of friendship and gets hurt by them. If we're being generous.

I have an awful virus. I'm mumsnetting from bed.

Can you come round and vacuum? Oh and mop the kitchen floor while you're about it? Perhaps put up a couple of trellises in the back garden?

Thank you all.
Glory yes! It's silly but I've spent the morning very much doubting myself and wondering if she did continue and nurture our friendship because of what she could've gained. We are very generous to our friends with time and kindness and always have been and in return we've made life long wonderful friends over the years. We're in a new place now and just expected the same would happen.
I feel a bullet was dodged but I cannot help going over and picking over it- I'm obsessing aren't I

I didn't mean to laugh but this is very funny. When me or my friend are under the weather we offer to help by doing such things as the school run or posting letters/getting a pint of milk in etc.

So funny:
"I'm ill with flu."
"Oh I'm so sorry, anything I can do to help?"
"yes, please tile my utility room."

Ah Ah Ahhh chooooo!

When can I expect you?

Ah it's sad too though op for you and your dcs.

What a strange woman.

Yes dcs are upset and asking when they are coming for Sunday roast

I don't necessarily think that she was 'cultivating' you with particular motive but she clearly has some problems with boundaries. You did nothing wrong - that would have shown up one way or the other in the future.

so the long con got shortened by the flu causing bad judgement. Mn is an eye opener at times ! Bet she's mad at herself for showing who she really is. Maybe let the word out as she will be trying to cover up by blaming you for her contretemps.

I had a friend like this - and then she moved to next town and I was ill and couldnt help her at all. (Hideous back, couldnt walk,move etc) and was sort of disposed of.

But in hindsight, we did lots for her family and their dogs etc while she did not a lot for mine. Weird friendship really. Anyway, my point is that this person is still the same, the horses/dogs/kids are shuffled around, and she has serious boundary issues in using people. Her grandmother even told me that she was incapable of being a good friend :(

I wonder if its the same person OP

I've got tonsilitis. Coincidentally, I've never liked the lino in the kitchen. would you mind awfully?

Seriously though, how horrible! You must be really upset. Being dumped by a friend can be more upsetting than breaking up with a boyfriend IME. I wouldn't be able to resist confronting her at school tbh or even going round to their utility room house to get at the truth.

Could it be some sort of swingers code e.g. "fancy coming round and tiling my utilty" wink wink? Perhaps you inadvertently spurned her advances and that's why she's so offended...

I'm amazed that her mind went there straight away! No, yes please, can you bring us milk, tissues, lemsips, but can you pop round and do some tiling...the mind boggles.

Now, are you absolutely sure she didn't want someone to come over and tidy her utility room? Could be an awful misunderstanding .

You could have said "No i'm sorry he's busy but I can have a bash at it for you! Never tiled before but how hard can it be? I'll be over in the morning - anything for a friend in need...."

OP I've got a bit of a bad head. Would you DH please gome round and repair my gazebo. Thanks in advance

What a cheeky mare! But I feel that your hindsight reasoning may well be right - you might have been "targeted" as a "useful friend" (or "friend with useful DH") to be called upon when the moment was right.

Bloody awful though, I do feel for you and your DH. Can't bear people like that!