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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think Facebook is quite toxic and to have a break from it

71 replies

smallspikyleaves · 22/02/2016 17:02

with a view to leaving? been off for 2 days now

I just waste too much time on there, its just the same stuff all the time, I do find myself showing off about stuff,. airing laundry, vaguebooking, talking politics, sharing petitions, pics of my kids, selfies, basically all the stuff you are not meant to do yes I am THAT annoying friend

has anyone else left successfully? and for good?

although pretty sure I will end up back on tbh as I am so nosey

OP posts:

Butwhyohwhy · 22/02/2016 17:05

I plan on deleting mine this week too, it's an addiction I can do without! Find myself opening the app from force of habit...gah!

AndYourBirdCanSing · 22/02/2016 17:07

I left for a long time but went back due to school facebook page. I opened a new account and have less people on there actually. I never really post myself, just the occasional profile photo change or to share a petition.

I have had to hide a few people though due to being lovely in real life but utter twits on facebook.

Hartofpixie · 22/02/2016 17:08

I took a break from it and then finally deleted it about a year ago. Honestly the best thing I've ever done. I may miss the odd update about things but everyone who is actually my friend is in touch directly. I miss nosing around but don't miss how it makes you feel and all the doubt and anxiety it generates. Do it!

Diggum · 22/02/2016 17:09

I did.

I sort of fake-left once before that but "accidentally on purpose" logged back in.

Then about 3 months ago I suddenly thought, "Nah, I really don't need this" so I permanently deleted my account. It helps that now (for legal reasons maybe??) they don't send you "look who'll miss you if you leave" emails.

I honestly haven't missed it. And I've re-read all Jane Austen's novels in my spare time so far. Going to get cracking on some new reads now. It's great!

AndYourBirdCanSing · 22/02/2016 17:09

And well done for acknowledging your facebook faults In the nicest possible way you may cause some amusement for miserable gits like me

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 22/02/2016 17:11

I don't do Facebook, and I'm so glad I didn't start when everyone was urging me to.

Stay away, OP. It seems flipping toxic to me!

HelpfulChap · 22/02/2016 17:11

I look at mine once a day and usually wish I hadn't bothered.

Shit football banter
Britain first
Photos of someone's lunch
Photos of someone's pet (again)
Photos of someone's car (again)
Real women do x, y, z
Real men do x, y, z
Pictures of kids that kicked a cat 'like and share'
Pictures of someone that was 'following me around Tesco'

I usually want to dig my eyes out with a rusty spoon afterwards.

MajorClanger123 · 22/02/2016 17:11

I am nosey. Probably too nosey . I spent hours checking what everyone was doing / feeling jealous / feeling mad at the petty arguments that erupt on fb / feeling amazed that people I knew in RL were so bloody weird on social media. I deleted my Facebook account over 3years ago now, I've never once regretted it and I've never been back on since.

I suspect its mainly used for self validation - people either post only the best bits of their lives, or the very worst, either way to attract likes, comments and attention (in my own personal experience of using the site). Many people weren't my friends, merely acquaintances or mums I'd happily chat to in the playground. I didn't need to know the minutiae of their lives.

When you hit delete, your account is there for 2 more weeks so you can sign back in and deactivate it. Try it for the 2 weeks & see how you feel.

Mamaka · 22/02/2016 17:13

I left a couple of months ago and have not looked back! I have more time, more patience with my kids, less anxiety. And I wasn't even a huge facebooker! It is really just a platform for big egos.

LagunaBubbles · 22/02/2016 17:13

I really dont get all the angst here about Facebook. Its only another method of social networking at the end of the day. Use it or dont use it. And I dont get the general smugness that invariably arises on these threads about deleting it, not using it, life is better without it etc etc as if that makes you a better person than someone who does use it.

IdaJones · 22/02/2016 17:14

I was on it for seven years. I enjoyed it for the first few years. I had people on it who were genuine friends. Then i ended up with a bunch of school mums i accepted friend requests from out of politeness, some of whom were quite bitchy. I could have deleted them, but awkward when you still have to see people regularly. I left last summer and am enjoying the break. I've deleted the school mums now (before I deactivated my account) and i may reactivate it minus the school mums at some point.

MajorClanger123 · 22/02/2016 17:14

Dare you to delete your account laguna, then you can share in our smugness

Buzzardbird · 22/02/2016 17:15

Nothing as bad as sharing Brtain Frst posts though...that gets you in the 'hidden' part of FB.

LagunaBubbles · 22/02/2016 17:16

I dont want to delete my account thanks! Im on plenty other websites I dont want to delete either, including this one!

TwatMagnet · 22/02/2016 17:17

I'm with Laguna. Yes, people post annoying shit - sometimes it seems almost non-stop - but I just hide and block whatever site they're re-posting it from. Yes, people ask me to change my status to 'support cancer sufferers'. I just hide those posts. It's all manageable. I like it because I have friends and family all over the world and I can't think of a better way of staying in touch. I've never felt the need to defriend anyone over a post - perhaps being selective in who you add takes care of that in the first place. No need for all the hand-wringing about it and really no need to spend your whole day refreshing it!

Original poster

smallspikyleaves · 22/02/2016 17:17

feeling amazed that people I knew in RL were so bloody weird on social media

haha I get that, perfectly nice normal people are insufferable on fb. and tbh, I suspect I fall into that category too

OP posts:

boredofusername · 22/02/2016 17:19

I am often tempted to delete my account but it is a good way of keeping in touch with family and friends. Some people are just lazy and if I delete my account they won't use the phone or email to stay in touch. I suppose you could say then they're not worth keeping as friends, but if I enjoy their company when I see them occasionally then I think they are. But I've had a few friend culls. I think I've seen here and elsewhere a good rule of thumb - if you saw them in your local town centre, would you stop to talk to them? If not, is it worth keeping them as friends on FB? I decided not.

I also stay on it for various groups eg for running and other clubs as it is an easy way to find out about events etc and a local group for asking about local plumbers and the like. But I've left groups where some of the discussions were either boring or annoying or both.

Diggum · 22/02/2016 17:19

I didn't quit to virtue-signal.

I was just on it way too much- not long periods at a time but just checking on it frequently through the day, for no real reason and without gaining anything from it. Even first thing in the morning I'd have a look on my phone before getting out of bed. And I'd find myself sort of grumpy or snappy after it sometimes- just the effect of constant small amounts of time wasted on nothing maybe.

It didn't make me happy. Maybe I don't have the restraint to self-modulate.

I didn't make a big deal of it. I didn't "announce" it. I'd say most of my friends haven't realised I'm off it, and I don't make a point of saying that I am if a post is referenced in real life or anything.

It's not a big deal, just did it for me.

CrossfireHurricane · 22/02/2016 17:24

I came off of Facebook for over a year as I found I was wasting an awful lot of time giving head space to people I hadn't seen in over 25 years.
I have since re joined so that I can stay in touch with a few people but only have around 60 friends.
Several old school friends have requested me but I just ignore them as they were the reason I came off in the first place.
It was car crash viewing and I feel better off not seeing them on my feed moaning/bragging about the same old same old.
Some folks are brilliant in real life but total dicks on line - it's strange.
Have a break OP and see how you feel.

BeetrootBetty · 22/02/2016 17:26

I deleted my account - I didn't go cold turkey, I still saw my husband's page which was a great way of reminding myself how much I did not need to be spending my time reading other people's inspirational quotes, supper plans, passive aggressive digs or fascist sympathies. I am so so so much happier now and like people so much more! (Also spend much more time on Mumsnet - time to get cracking with the Austen I think - genius idea Diggum).

LagunaBubbles · 22/02/2016 17:28

Good for you then Beetroot. Funnily enough I dont have any of those type of people on my FB in the first place and am happy to!

Ragwort · 22/02/2016 17:30

I've never even been tempted to join, very occasionally I wonder if I am 'missing out' on stuff but from what I read/hear about it or see on my teenage son's account it just seems an absolute load of drivel. I have a full and busy life, plenty of friends so I really don't worry about what I don't know. IYSWIM.

Mumsnet is addictive enough for me.

harryhausen · 22/02/2016 17:34

I had a 4 month break once and it was great. My dh commented on how much happier I was.

I left because I have a mix of parents from school and some professional peers/friends on there (I'm self employed in a very competitive field). All the 'isn't my life/aren't I amazing' stuff got too much for my insecure little brain. It was actively affecting my work. So I just went cold turkey. I didn't delete my account or announce anything, just stopped posting and looking.

Yeah, I missed a few photos and announcements etc but the sky didn't fall in. I came back to it when I felt much better. Now, it doesn't seem to affect me so much.

Privately people have admitted to me that they 'edit' their life on FB to look better than it is. I probably do this too without thinking. It's best to take it all with a huge pinch of salt.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 22/02/2016 17:35

I like it, it's a great way of keeping in touch with people who are spread about over the country and world.

I weeded out most of the idiots years ago, and I'm careful about who I add as a friend. I am genuinely interested in the lives of all the people I have on mine, the ones who are lovely but for some reason post every time they have been for a run/swim/gym or whatever I just ask to see fewer of their posts!

LaurieLemons · 22/02/2016 17:38

I deleted my Facebook about 3 years ago, best thing I ever did! I'll admit I still have a snoop every now and then but I'm better of without the drama .

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