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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to go on holiday with family... again!

19 replies

MugsLife · 22/02/2016 15:23

I like them, but I just really want to go on holiday with just my OH and DS and not go on another 'fun' holiday trying to stuff together, when no one really wants to as it's realy just about keeping mil happy. It will cost so much we won't be able to afford own holiday again this year :( Oh thinks I'm grumpy because I want to say no.

OP posts:

5Hearts · 22/02/2016 15:30

There is nothing wrong with saying no! Sounds like you don't enjoy it much at all and that absolutely is not ok if it is your only holiday.

What does your OH think?

dinkystinky · 22/02/2016 15:31

Just say this year you're doing a cheap and cheerful you, OH and DS holiday as you did an extended family holiday last year and cant afford it again this year.

Katenka · 22/02/2016 15:32

Yanbu.

madmother1 · 22/02/2016 15:32

I've not been on a holiday with my parents or in law's ever! My last holiday with my parents was when I was 17 😨

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 22/02/2016 15:34

Oh thinks I'm grumpy because I want to say no.

Tell OH to feck off on holiday with his family then, and you and DS will go somewhere just the two of you. If he says no then totally dismiss him by calling him grumpy.

YANBU.

mummymeister · 22/02/2016 15:36

Man up OP and just say No. "I am an adult and this is not what I want to do so I am not going to do it"

I absolutely refuse to go on family holidays with anyone except my DH and my DC. trying to please all of them is hard enough. trying to please some other family members would make it all a hideous nightmare.

FetchezLaVache · 22/02/2016 15:44

Does your OH actually enjoy these family holidays then, or does it simply not occur to him that he doesn't have to go along with everything his mum wants?

5Hearts · 22/02/2016 15:45

Sorry - didn't read Oh as OH this first time, so ignore my question about what he thinks...

We've been on a couple of holidays with the ILs - mercifully DH doesn't want to repeat it either.

Do you have separate accommodation?

MyFavouriteClintonisGeorge · 22/02/2016 15:47

There is absolutely nothing wrong with ringing the changes. Say no for this year. (Then think of a an excuse for next year. And the year after that. And the year after...etc).

bumblefeline · 22/02/2016 15:50

YANBU OP. After a disastrous holiday with SIL the other year I am never going on holiday with family again. Holiday's are too precious.

ImperialBlether · 22/02/2016 15:50

Ask your husband if he fancies going with your mum and dad this year.

2rebecca · 22/02/2016 15:53

You mean extended family? To me a family holiday is just us and the kids. I'd just discuss with your husband and decline invites from wider family/ don't invite them/ tell them where you're going for the next couple of years then review things.

Alexjoy · 22/02/2016 15:58

Just say no.

Last year we holidayed with DH's family.

It wasn't a break. 20 people. The cottage was rubbish. There was nothing to do, it was miles from anywhere. Self catering, no restaurants nearby.

Never again.

Vacations are to be enjoyed, not endured!!!

Hissy · 22/02/2016 16:12

Stop wanting to say no, just say no.

No excuse, no negotiation, just no.

BackforGood · 22/02/2016 16:13

I wouldn't want to go on holiday with extended family. Well, ok, some of them, uner certain conditions, but others of them - no way!
It's your holiday / your AL / your time / your money as much as your OH's. If you can't agree, then the least you can do is do different things in alternate years - you've been with MiL, so this year on your own and next year with your Mum perhaps ???? (would he enjoy that?)

GruntledOne · 22/02/2016 16:17

Why on earth is it grumpy to prefer one type of holiday to another? It's not as if you're refusing to go at all. If anything, he should be flattered that you want more of his company.

I can't imagine anything worse than going on holiday with my PiLs. I went once with SiL and her ex, it wasn't dreadful but it was a pain having to consult with them all the time about what we were going to do, where we were going to eat etc.

2rebecca · 22/02/2016 16:25

If my husband said i was grumpy for not wanting to go away with uncle tom cobly and all I'd be asking him why going away with just me and the kids was so bad that he won't do it.
I'd also make it clear that me having a different opinion to him was not me being "grumpy" but me having a different opinion to him. He sounds quite manipulative using that sort of language.

girlywhirly · 22/02/2016 16:45

If you have always been on holiday with OH's family, it would only be fair for this year to be just you, OH and DS.

I think you can say that you need a change to OH, that you want to do different things and you don't feel that trying to keep everyone happy and not succeeding is the best use of your family time and money. Show him some holidays that you would like to go on and prices, especially if you can show that it will be cheaper than a holiday with MIL!

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 22/02/2016 16:58

Done the family holiday for both sides and if your OH won't budge on not going - then I would start demanding separate accommodation (cottage/lodge/apartment) or he's going alone and bunking up with his mum!

Luckily DH and I are on the same page re. "Family holidays" - meet up for meals and the odd trip out. And nobody gets drowned in a lake.

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