I despair

[Butwhyohwhy]

Aibu to ask exp to drop DS back home after contact this weekend (45minute drive)

I have been really ill all week and still am, I don't feel up to driving to collect DS which I normally do after contact. Still feel weak etc/shivery.

I text exp to explain this however he saw how Ill I was on Friday when collecting DS, and asked if he would drop DS, his answer....no, it's your turn

Says he will keep DS until I'm well enough to collect him myself. He's done this before when I was ill, don't know why I'm surprised.

...in other words, you don't get DS back unless you come get him

What a dick he is. Is there anyone else who could go and collect DS for you?

Yes he is and no there's isn't, which he knows

So he wants you driving with your DS in the car, even though you don't feel up to it?

Or is quite happy to disrupt DSs routine.

On a side note, would an extra day recovering do you good?

What an absolute Bellend, either way.

An extra day recovering would do me good but he's happy to disrupt DS routine (preschool) and just doesn't give a shit, I could be terminally ill and he would still insist I do the travelling

I got myself into this mess though

We were at court last year and he was told (by his lawyer, not by judge) that it is his responsibility to do the travelling. He kept up to that for a while then got bored so blackmailed me by saying if you don't travel, I'll stop paying child maintenance

He had done this before it got to court and had already missed about eight payments and I REALLY struggled financially so I stupidly agreed to do half the travelling in order to keep getting cm each month as it makes a difference

I hate myself for being bullied and blackmailed but at the end of the day it was worth it rather than worrying about bills each month

And if I refused to go get him, well no child maintenance this month or next!

If he loves you picking ds up so much then he wont mind you picking ds up a day or two earlier than agreed next time he has contact

Go back to the lawyer...

Is the CM independently arranged? If so, couldn't you switch to CSA (or whatever it's called nowadays), so he can't threaten to withhold it?

He's a jerk.

Contact the CMS and arrange payment via them.

Tell him you're too unwell to drive today so you'll collect DS tomorrow. Take the extra day to recuperate, it won't do your DS any harm to miss preschool for one day.

Your ex is a massive bellend.

Thanks. No he has had cunningly mastered a way around paying CM. He quit his job and has now also sold his car. He can afford not to work as he has lots of flats he rents out (in his brothers name) and by no longer having a car, if it goes back to court....I will be made to do the travelling anyway as I have a car and he doesn't. He's wealthy but can hide it very well. When he wasn't paying I went to CMS and got nowhere. If he stops paying, there is no hope of ever getting CM

What a bastard!