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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what you do in this situation?

96 replies

altctrldel · 20/02/2016 18:47

Couldnt go into work today due to personal circumstances. I only started 3 weeks ago and havent had my contract yet.

Contacted my boss when we opened today, i know he was in earlier but I honestly didnt have the time. Left a message for him and he hasnt called back. I left another for him at the end of the day apologising.

AIBU to worry?

OP posts:

GrowbagLite · 20/02/2016 18:49

If depends on the circumstances I should think

thenewaveragebear1983 · 20/02/2016 18:51

When you left earlier did you actually explain why you weren't going in or just ask him to call you back? My old work were quite happy with an answerphone message as long as it was clear. Might be worth asking for the correct policy though when you have your return to work chat.

Original poster

altctrldel · 20/02/2016 18:55

I didnt go in at all. Something came up out of the blue last night and obviously family comes before work. I called this morning at opening and again just before closing.

I just dont want it to look like im not interested/cant be bothered because its only been 3 weeks

OP posts:

MsJamieFraser · 20/02/2016 18:59

It entirely depends on what the personal circumstances are, there isn't enough info to decide if your BU or not.

Currently Im saying YABU, because a phone call takes less than 5 mins

SavoyCabbage · 20/02/2016 19:01

It totally depends on the circumstances. It can't always be family before work as in that simplistic way as if you loose your job and you need it to provide for your family, then the job comes first.

RubbleBubble00 · 20/02/2016 19:03

agree with others that it depends on the personal circumstances - sick child, hospital ect fair enough. You should have made time to call earlier

hiddenhome2 · 20/02/2016 19:07

If it was serious illness or accident in a close relative then that's reasonable, but if it was something social or emotional then that's not really okay. Obviously people do encounter such difficulties, but work is very important.

We had a staff member who phoned in because her sister had broken up with her husband. That's not okay and we were annoyed.

lorelei9 · 20/02/2016 19:20

did you say "personal circumstances" or explain what they were?

I think if you say "Mum was rushed to hospital" that's fine, for example. But unfortunately I agree that you are right to be concerned; if you were on my team and left that message, I would leave a message back saying that I'd received your message IYSWIM.

edwinbear · 20/02/2016 19:24

Did you say "personal circumstances" on the message or explain what the problem was that meant you couldn't go in? The only personal circumstances that are acceptable for not going into work are serious illness or accident in a close family member in my opinion.

Lurkedforever1 · 20/02/2016 19:25

Depends on the actual circumstances, and whether you've explained them in your message.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 20/02/2016 19:25

'Personal circumstances' wouldn't cut it for me. Family doesn't always come before work, not in a world where work keeps your family fed and housed.

Gazelda · 20/02/2016 19:29

As others have said, it really does depend on what you said in your message.

And did you leave your phone number? If you not being in meant they were short staffed, he may not have had chance to search for your phone number.

Will he be there early tomorrow morning, before opening? Might be worth giving a quick ring to explain the emergency and to say that he can rely on you to be there for your next shift.

Lj8893 · 20/02/2016 19:31

Depends on what the circumstances were and if you told your boss what was up.

JolseBaby · 20/02/2016 19:37

Family does come before work, but context and circumstances are everything. Close family member has had a heart attack and is v. poorly - obviously you drop everything and go. Extended family member is poorly but stable - you'll worry but you would visit after you've finished work.

TwatMagnet · 20/02/2016 19:37

Did you leave him a message citing 'personal circumstances' as the reason you couldn't go to work at very short notice? I'd sack you for that especially after only 3 weeks. If you couldn't be arsed to explain your circumstances I'd think you were a complete flake with a bad attitude who would no doubt pull this stunt again.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 20/02/2016 19:41

Family comes before work for you but not for your employer. Unless you were specific about the reasons they yabu.

PurpleDaisies · 20/02/2016 19:47

Another saying it really depends on what it was. I think you need to get prepared to explain exactly what happened to your boss. If you just left a message on an answerphone at opening time saying not coming in due to "personal circumstances" I'd expect the boss not to be very happy.

AwkwardSquad · 20/02/2016 19:56

'Family comes before work'? It depends. I rely on my job to feed my family. I have to be reliable for my employer.

ILikeUranus · 20/02/2016 19:57

You can't just not go to work for unspecified personal circumstances, what were you thinking?! You need to explain to the boss what exactly the circumstances were, but unless you really had no choice, you may well be sacked.

KitKat1985 · 20/02/2016 20:06

I agree you need to give more detail before we know if ywbu. What exactly did your message say?

firesidechat · 20/02/2016 20:08

Not all family stuff comes before work. Only real emergencies with no other options.

Batavias · 20/02/2016 20:09

It's impossible to say if YABU or if YANBU - you haven't given enough information. I think it looks flakey to not turn up to work and not tell your employer ahead of time especially as a new member of staff. It depends on the circumstances.

Hulababy · 20/02/2016 20:11

I would have tried to phone as early as possible, and definitely before opening time/my start time. I think the early warning is pretty important generally, especially if they need to get cover.

I would have also tried again to try and speak to him direct. An answer machine message can be okay in proper emergencies if necessary but a direct conversation is by far preferable.

As for reasons - well, yes family is important and will be your main priority. However, work may not always see it that way.

Original poster

altctrldel · 20/02/2016 20:12

Its a joint answer machine for several people, i explained I was having family difficulties and I wouldnt be able to make it in and if he could give me a call. Dont want members of staff i have nothing to do with knowing my personal business.

OP posts:

lorelei9 · 20/02/2016 20:14

OP, if you had said "family emergency" then I'm sure he would have given you a call?

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