To ask your stories of petty revenge?

[CowPatRoberts]

I'll begin.

DP and I have a shopping agreement, one of us shops and the other unloads the car and puts everything away. A couple of weeks ago we had a minor spat about housework and I went off to Tesco, did the shopping and headed to the checkout. Now, not only did I double bag everything and fill it as much as I can, I also parked a few houses down as the car "wouldn't fit on the drive way".

How about you?

I rubbed deep heat into an ex underwear. Then washed them. Deep heat doesn't come out after one wash...

cheat on me will you....?!?!?

When I don't like a work collegue, I sign off emails with "regards" instead of "kind regards".

That'll learn 'em.

Argh colleague

Haha I love these. When my dsis found out her ex was cheating on her I begged her to let me "accidentally" drop his banksy canvas down the stairs via my foot. She said no. Wanted to take the high road or some such nonsense.

Fedup You are hardcore, mate!

Mavis, love it!

I've never told anyone this before

Years ago I found out my ex DP had cheated on me so I moved out of our house and back in with my parents. He was still ringing me, crying and begging for another chance, threatening to kill himself etc etc. I was in the process of removing all my stuff from the house and en route to my parents' (at 11.30pm) I spotted his car parked outside OW's house (he didn't even have the sense to park it round the corner out of sight).

I had all my kitchen stuff in the car including my Kitchen Devils knife block. I pulled over and stabbed his tyre (passenger side) repeatedly with the carving knife. He rang me the next day bleating about his bad morning and how he'd had a puncture on his way to work and had to buy a whole new tyre Kitchen Devils indeed

oohmavis I have got the giggles over your wheelie bin story! Brilliant.

We are all bad lovely people

Are you familiar with the reddit petty revenge page? www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

fedup I consider "Regards" more professional and correct. "Kind regards" only became popular in more recent years and grates on me.

I was helping my disabled friend out of her wheelchair into my car. I'd parked right at the other end of the car park where there were lots of empty spaces as the disabled bays were full that day. I needed room for the wheelchair. While I was helping my friend a car about the size of Nissan Micra, containing the four roundest women I've ever seen squeezed into such a small car not relevant but it was comical, tooted for me to hurry up as they wanted the space next to my car. There were loads of other empty spaces, that I gestured to, but the driver wanted that particular one.

As I was putting the chair in the boot the driver started shouting about how she was entitled to park anywhere she fucking wanted (technically right I suppose) so I could fuck off etc. The four of them waddled off. I noticed she'd left the car unlocked so I opened all four doors and the boot fully before driving off.

Me and my pal laughed for ages.

Years ago I had a housemate who drank mineral water and was really precious about it. He used the last of my shampoo so I drank the half bottle of mineral water in the fridge and replaced it with tap water. He didn't notice.

Ah, I miss twentysomething house shares

When I was at school a girl was mean to me so I cut all the buttons off her coat. It was hung up in the communal cloakroom.
I met an ex boyfriend for a meal, he told me halfway through he didn't have any money to pay for the meal, hoping I'd pay. I went to the toilet, climbed out of the window, and went home.
I split from another boyfriend after 12 miserable years. Some time later (like 18 years!!) we hooked up again. I agreed to go for a meal & stay in a hotel. I had a lovely meal. A la carte, scallops, Tournedos Rossini, etc. We were having drinks in the bar & he was pressing me to go to our room. I said, hang on, I really need to go to the loo. I walked out of the hotel, got into my car & drove home. Never saw or heard from him again.
Hmm, bit of a theme developing here.....

A girl I work with is always nitpicking other people's work even though we all work at the same level. She seems to regard herself as a step above the rest of us and treats us as inferior - It's very annoying. I control who gets what work and if there is a difficult customer or a a piece of work that looks horrible I always forward it her way. It would be impossible for her to prove as my choices look random on the surface.

I told my ex the OW had had to have surgery because her vag had become so slack through her sleeping around. I said everyone knew about it.

He believed me, and actually asked a neighbour if it was true, then asked her.

Not revenge but someone who had always done everything before you and knew everything you knew and it was common knowledge.

I told someone in his presence that mathematically speaking an egg is technically a square. Other person was 'huh?' mr know it all, "yep, well known fact that"

Mavis - I love your style!

DP announced that the dog had been sick on the bed instead of just quietly cleaning it up himself. He also followed me into the bedroom and watched me clean it up while wringing his hands and theatrically retching.

I noticed later that the DDog had also been sick off the edge of the bed into DP's work shoes. I failed to mention that detail.

A few that come to mind.
At one point my friend was dating a guy who liked his expensive wines. So naturally, when she found out he was cheating on her she used them to make punch for his dinner party.
When my vegan ex boyfriend's mum told me and my friends that we were disgusting for eating animal products, so we covered the handles of her car in butter and then baked her a cake and greased the tin with lard.
The same ex boyfriend after he called me a slag, so I swapped his trophy shelf back to front.
My DSs 1 and 2 who swapped took it one step further and swapped their mate's entire bedroom around, with tape measure and everything.
Then my DS3 and his friend who actually swapped a book around. As in they took the pages out, separated them all and put them back in back to front.
And finally, DS1 again. While at work experience a classmate chose to make a few insults about him, so DS1 spent a lot of his final day in the toilets with a case of "food poisoning", and while there chose to secrete some of the little shit's stock underneath one of the floorboards. The kid got a tongue lashing and according to DS the stock is still there.

Oh God, this will utterly out me if anyone I know reads it and I've only just namechanged but I once deep-fried a woman's handbag.

She'd been after my at the time boyfriend for ages and kept hurling herself at him at a house party. After a blazing row with ex-bf, I turned on the Delonghi Fryer thing in the kitchen, deposited within it her unattended clutch bag (containing keys and purse) and trotted out of the door, without the ex.

I wish I'd seen her face when she realized. Probably wouldn't do the same again though with hindsight...

This goes back to the days before mobile phones. I was at the shopping centre on a Saturday afternoon near Christmas and the rain was pissing down so you can imagine it was busy and parking was scarce.

As I pushed a trolley back to my car I noticed another car trailing me at walking speed – obviously the driver was after my space; fine. As soon as I opened my boot her passenger got out and I heard the driver arrange with her to meet at the car about an hour later.

Some of my shopping was fragile so I was putting it carefully in the boot when the driver opened her window and yelled Hurry up – and I thought Sod you. So when all my shopping was packed I locked the car and turned back to the centre. And the driver yelled I thought you were going and I said I never said so and went my way – leaving her to find another spot, probably miles away.

I wondered whether she would have the sense to have her passenger paged, but she did not. And while the passenger was wandering out into the wet, preferably probably with heavy bags, at the agreed time, I was enjoying a coffee.

It wasn’t perfect – Driver was rude and Passenger got soaked – but I enjoyed it!

In my last job I was supervisor, and there was one member of staff who had the worst attitude, really sulky and lazy and would back chat me a lot and try to undermine me. she used to come and let me know it was nearly her lunchtime, I.e 'it's two minutes to 12, can I go now?' As if waiting another two minutes was not possible. I also needed her there until the lunchtime cover arrived. So I used to say no, and wait until 12.02 before saying "you can go now". So so petty, but it amused me watching her get irate about it being after 12. She didn't ask again.

The boss of that place was an arsehole, mysoginistic, rude

OH had a 'personality clash' with the MD, to this day I'm not sure quite why he was sacked but was quickly paid off to not take legal proceedings. He was brought up with violence being normal and had been looking forward for years to have an opportunity to hit the MD, I on the other hand hate violence. I was so proud of him when he came home from his opportunity telling me how much fun it had been to be overly polite to the MD as the MD squirmed utterly bemused waiting for a punch that never came.

After, my phone posts too soon!!
Anyway, in my last week he really laid in to me about spending petty cash on loo roll for the women's toilets but not putting any in the men's (like its my job - anyone can go and buy loo roll and we would happily share it if asked)

He wasn't in on my last day so I gave two of the staff £50 from petty cash and told them to go and buy as much toilet roll as they could, and a box of chocolates for us. I put all of the toilet roll in the men's toilet (it's tiny), almost filled the room, put the receipt on his desk and ate the chocolate with the staff instead of working for the last couple of hours. I know it will have really irritated him having to shift it all before going to the loo