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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be shocked at friend - Chicken pox related...

113 replies

backonthebikeagain · 20/02/2016 10:38

So, my friends ds woke up with chicken pox on Tuesday. That evening she took him to a bowling party and then Pizza Hut.

She has a close family member, a 4 yo, who has leukaemia and knows how dangerous chicken pox can be to him. (let along to pg women who havent had it)

She sent me some photos on Thursday of his spots and I haven't responded.

AIBU to think that if your child has cp you dont take them to public places like this? I am so tempted to say something but wonder if Im over reacting due to the child we know. Plus, what would saying something now achieve!

OP posts:
Murphyslaw21 · 20/02/2016 13:00

I'm dieing to know the outcome. Op you have to tell us if you do contact her

WhereYouLeftIt · 20/02/2016 13:27

"Im ignoring her messages atm because I think I will explode if I respond."
Have there been multiple messages then? In which case, I would suspect she is looking for you to validate her behaviour. Don't.

I'm afraid the only response she'd get from me would be 'What the hell were you thinking?!?'.

GreatFuckability · 20/02/2016 13:40

I took my children out with CP. Not to parties, but for unavoidable things like school runs and food shops.

MrsDeVere · 20/02/2016 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catsinthecraddle · 20/02/2016 13:53

what a bitch, I hope no-one will suffer because of her!

EweAreHere · 20/02/2016 13:53

missclarke86 That is absolutely not true. Chicken pox is contagious before there are any signs you are incubating it, roughly 5-7 days in the run up to getting the spots. And you remain contagious until the spots have scabbed over.

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 20/02/2016 13:59

do the other people there know he had chicken poz, because I would be inclined to make innocent commetns to let other people know

lovvely and x looks so well considering he has chicken pox! how is he feeling ...

IceBeing · 20/02/2016 14:02

The kid is still likely contagious so surely it is worth saying something or he might be out at the cinema tonight...

MadamDeathstare · 20/02/2016 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreatFuckability · 20/02/2016 14:14

MrsDevere I took them to breakfast club where they ran in whilst I watched from the other side of the road, and then waited for them in a quiet corner of the playground at kick out time. There was no internet shopping to my part of the world at the time, and I am single. They had it one after the other, so 6 weeks of poxy kids, its just not feasible to completely avoid the world for that long. I was as careful as I could be.

Sometimesithinkimbonkers · 20/02/2016 14:15

My son was hospitalised for 2 weeks with chicken pox.... We nearly lost him! You mate is an idiot!

ljny · 20/02/2016 14:21

Zombie thinks your message to your friend might be more effective if you don't calm down too much before speaking with her.

Agree with zombie. Maybe she's selfish, maybe just stupid or ignorant. Either way, she could have killed someone.

Right now she's swanning about showing photos of her poxy kid at Pizza Hut, at a party - it's like drunk driving. It's not a laugh. It's unacceptable. The rest of us need to let them know.

BadgersNadgers · 20/02/2016 15:45

She's a twat. An acquaintance sent her kiss to school with CP and infected half the village, including my kids. We had 4weeks in isolation because they came down with it at 2 week intervals. Then I developed shingles, which was totally debilitating. Before anyone says it I know that you can't catch shingles from kids with chicken pox but exposure to the virus can trigger the immune response that leads to shingles.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/02/2016 16:28

Ive just had to leave a childs birthday party with two of my children because one of the other parents thought it was acceptable to bring a poxy child.

She cheerfully announced the spots came up yesterday then looked at me like I was mad when I said "gotta go, cant have myself or youngest intentionally exposed to CP" inconsiderate prick

EweAreHere · 20/02/2016 18:05

NeedsAsock, if your child is in the same class as one of her children they've likely already been exposed. [hmmm]

But no, they should not have been brought to the party if they now clearly have the chicken pox and the pox haven't scabbed over.

Muskateersmummy · 20/02/2016 18:14

This annoys me so much! I see so many people on fb their child diagnosed with cp, then a day later popped out to some kid friendly eatery or other to cheer up said child, or out somewhere to give the child some air.

No! No! No! Just so selfish, you have no idea who is immunocompromised that you could have infected. Yes it's annoying having to be stuck indoors for a good few days or a week, but for someone else's child it may not just be an inconvenient week.

You need to say something otherwise she will be out and about everywhere with her child.

Original poster
backonthebikeagain · 20/02/2016 18:39

My response - 'I thought you would have kept ds at home rather then send him to the party'. Her response 'we had paid for his bowling and meal. The children there have had it so we kept him away from others we didn't know' I think it was more a meet up with friends.

Still totally shocked. I think I refrained myself in my message. I could have said more but whats done is done. I hope she knows she has been a twat and will keep him home now.

Child with leukaemia was there but is on meds to prevent him getting it as its being going around school.

OP posts:
Murphyslaw21 · 20/02/2016 18:56

Very selfish on her part. Awful.

At least you have said what you needed to say, hopefully she will have more consideration in the future.

My goodness you are much politer than me,

shrunkenhead · 20/02/2016 19:15

I can see the point in controlled CP parties to get it over and done with. My dd was two when she had it and itall seemed quite mild and not too itchy. Seems the older they are when they get it the worse it is! Obviously they need to stay away from pregnant women and poorly people. Goes without. Saying

IJustLostTheGame · 20/02/2016 19:22

I hate this stuff. A friend tried to come round with her poxy dd. I said no, we're going on holiday in three weeks and I could do without dd coming out with the pox thanks.
She was really surprised and disgruntled.
What is it with some people?

Ameliablue · 20/02/2016 19:26

It is possible to get it more than once though, particularly if only a mild dose first time so "controlled" parties are pointless.

MrsDeVere · 20/02/2016 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 20/02/2016 21:33

if your child is in the same class as one of her children they've likely already been exposed. [hmmm]

Youngest child not school age. and besides intentionally exposing someone where it could have significant implications is very different to unknowingly exposing them.

Granted the end result may well be the same but one is a damn sight easy to live with

getyourselfchecked · 20/02/2016 21:41

So, she took the child because she'd already paid for the meal and bowling? Knowing there was a seriously ill, immunocompromised child there? Doesn't get much more selfish than that.

Singsongsungagain · 20/02/2016 21:54

My daughter had CP a few weeks ago and I was worried sick about all the people she'd come into contact with before we knew. To knowingly do that is unbelievable really.

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